Adrift
by CrazyAbout
Summary: An alternative scenario to the start of Season 8. with a lot more soul searching. Ruth has returned from Cyprus, but not to MI5. Meanwhile Harry is close to a breakdown and has been forced to take a break. This though is Harry and Ruth, and it will be far from plain sailing.
1. Chapter 1

The uranium was safe, but at what cost. In his case, it was everything that he held dear. 'Ruth's cross with you,' Malcolm had said - what a bloody understatement that was. He hadn't heard her gut wrenching scream or seen the damning look in her eyes, as Mani had murdered her husband. Despite the fact that every fibre of his body had been screaming at him to hold her, he had left her with the paramedics and with Ros.

For two long years, he had clung to the dream that she would come back to him, but never in all his imaginings, had it been like this. His dreams had been those of fairy tales, of blue skies and of happy endings and now in the space of just one day, he had thrown it all away.

'I'm fine,' he said to Ros as they sat in the meeting room after their debriefing. He had endured three days of heaving beatings and he was far from fine, but as always he had stubbornly refused to see a doctor. She knew full well that his current mood had little or nothing to do with his injuries, but getting him to talk about it was pointless, she could see the signs, she knew only too well how it was. On top of that they were short staffed, more so since Malcolm had retired, so Harry behaving like a bear with a sore head was just adding to her problems. Something had to be done. Suggesting that he should go and see Ruth, which was clearly what he needed would inevitably result in another tongue lashing, so telling Lucas that she was going out, she rang the DG.

Harry was sitting in his office but work was the furthest thing from his mind. He hadn't slept for days, his body ached and his powers of concentration had completely left him. He should have seen a doctor, he shouldn't have come straight back to work and most importantly he should have stayed with Ruth. He had been snapping at his staff, much more so than usual and he suspected that Ros and certainly Jo knew the reason why. It was the reason that he got up each morning, it was the reason that he breathed and as long as she was out there somewhere, it would never change. Quite what he would say to her if he ever saw her again he didn't know, he just knew he had to try.

He was contemplating making himself another coffee and then possibly making a start on the mountain of files on his desk, when his phone rang. How much worse could his day get, it was Dolby and he was demanding to see him.

'You do understand the concept of time off,' he said, as Harry stared unbelieving at the form telling him that he was on indefinite leave with a review no earlier than a month. 'It's your choice Harry, it's either that or Tring. For God's sake man, look at you.'

'I'm absolutely fine,' he lied, knowing full well that it was pointless. If he kicked up a stink he would be on the next train to Hertfordshire and to the one place that he had so far managed to avoid. There had to be an upside if he said yes, but he was damned if he could see it.

Dolby telling him that Ros was going to step up and that she would be getting extra staff didn't improve his mood, he'd been struggling for weeks since they'd lost Adam. That and the fact that he'd had the gall to tell him to cheer up. What the hell did he know?

Leaning against the wall and hyperventilating, he tried to decide what to say to Ros. He was angry, but then it was anger that had got him into this mess, that and the pain. He did feel dreadful but he was after all, free as a bird for the foreseeable future. All things considered, maybe Ros was right.

Back down on the grid, he tidied his desk and collected his personal belongings. It was quite liberating he thought as he looked at the pile of files that some other poor soul would have to tackle. 'I'm going on holiday,' he said to an astounded Lucas and Tariq as he shook their hands, 'but before I do, I need to speak to Ros.'

It had been so long since he had had a holiday, he barely knew where to start. Looking into his wardrobe didn't exactly fill him with visions of striding across the hills or walking by the sea, as rows of suits, shirts and ties stared back at him. He was bone tired and needed to sleep, but first he wanted a drink. The other thing that he had failed to consider, were the owners of the three pairs of eyes that were currently watching him. Scarlet he could take with him, but there were also Ruth's cats to consider and she could hardly have them in the safe house. He needed help, but having burnt his boats with almost everyone he knew, it boiled down to Lucas, Tariq or Ros. Promising her a takeaway and a good bottle of red, she would be round at eight she said.

They had been chatting for a while, mostly about Harry's plans and about the fact that neither of them had been away for years, when Ros noticed that Harry wasn't quite as cheerful as he had first appeared.

'If you want someone to look after Ruth's cats, I'll talk to Malcolm Harry, but this isn't about the cats is it?' she said. She was rubbish at personal she always had been, otherwise she would have been spending her evening with Adam, not with her clearly repressed boss. He unlike her was on holiday, so bugger this she thought. 'Harry, listen to me,' she said, pausing long enough so that he was forced to look up. 'It's Ruth who should be sitting here, not me.'

'It's complicated,' he mumbled after a while.

'Harry it's always complicated, it's what we do. Ruth knew the risks when she brought them back here, but in spite of that, she still came. She could have run anywhere when those goons turned up, but she didn't Harry, she came back here and it doesn't take a genius to know why. So it's complicated, it always was, but life's too short Harry, find a way to talk to her.'

It was well past eleven when he finally went to bed. Ros had surprised him with her frankness, but she was right, life was too short and it should have been Ruth that was with him. Was she lost to him he really didn't know, but for now, just as he had done for as long as he could remember, he closed his eyes and pictured her beside him. Tonight though, he felt slightly better and he knew that he would sleep.

Ros had gone home full of thought. Like Harry, she rarely went out and despite everything, she had enjoyed the evening. A month in charge of section D was daunting but she owed him that. Despite everything that she had done, he had stood by her. She needed to ask Malcolm if he and his mother would look after Ruth's cats, but more importantly, she needed speak to Jo.


	2. Chapter 2

For the second day running, Ruth had woken to a blue sky day, but it had done nothing to lift the mood that she was in. She had picked at her food and had barely slept, as she fought to erase the events of the past week. Whether by coincidence or design, and she suspected the latter, the safe house that she now occupied was within a mile of Thames House. It was in a side street and overlooked the park where she and Harry used to meet. They had done their best to make it a little more comfortable she could see that, but despite their efforts, it was still soulless and unwelcoming. Mercifully though they had left alone which had given her time to think. Quite how she was going to manage she had no idea. Without an identity, she had no hope of getting a job and there was only so long before what little money she had would run out. She had no idea what had happened to her house but she suspected that it had been sold. That got her wondering if there had been a funeral, and if so who had attended and if perhaps Harry had done the reading. There were just too many questions, none of which she could answer. Resolving that she had to pull herself together, she grabbed her bag and headed out through the door. So far she had resisted the temptation, but today it felt too great. She crossed the road and headed into the park and past the bench where she and Harry had so often sat. Another day perhaps she would feel strong enough to sit there, but today she headed to the café beside the lake.

Ros had spoken to Jo but without giving too much away or breaking any confidence that Harry might have told her, she had suggested that she should go and visit Ruth, in an effort to as she put it, 'repair the damage.' Quite how she was going to do that she didn't know, but one look at Ruth had told her that Ros had been right and that one of them, or more specifically Harry should have been to see her, long before now. She looked lost, ill in fact and as though she hadn't slept. This wasn't one of the things that she had been trained to deal with, but Ruth had always been a good friend and it was obvious that it was her who needed one now.

'Sorry if I startled you,' she said, ploughing straight in as she sat down at the table where Ruth was drinking tea. 'I would have been before, but with Malcolm retiring and Harry going away we've been overloaded with the extra work.'

Harry going anywhere other than into Thames House every day was something that Ruth had never considered. It was the picture of him sitting behind his desk that she had held on to, the entire time that she had been away. The way that Jo had said 'away' sounded long term, permanent even. Tring was the first thing that sprung to mind, but surely not, he had resisted all attempts to be sent there for twenty years. Her next thought was that his injuries that she had seen the other day might be more serious or perhaps he was ill, but whatever it was she needed to know.

'Look,' Jo continued, I'm not very good at this and I can see that you're worried, but it's Harry that you need to talk to.'

* * *

It was approaching midday and Harry was sitting in his garden. He had walked Scarlet for the best part of the morning in an effort to burn off some of his nervous energy, so much so that it had got to the point where she had stopped in her tracks and demanded that he carry her. 'Sorry,' he had said, as an elderly woman who was watching him tut tutted and looked at him as though she was going to ring animal cruelty. Refraining from saying 'do you realise who I am?' he had smiled sweetly and headed home. It had got to the stage where it was now or never as he stared at his phone, in the hope that by some miracle it would dial itself. His plans were in place whatever her response, so with a deep breath and with is fingers firmly crossed, he dialled her number. Ten minutes later he was back upstairs and contemplating what to wear. Ruth had said yes, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

He had struggled to find somewhere to park the car and as a result was late, as opposed to Ruth, who had made up her mind that she needed to be there before he was, and had got there early. She had been sitting on the bench and gazing anywhere rather than at the park gates, so was totally unaware that Harry was standing next to her, until he sat down.

'Is this seat taken?' he asked, as Ruth stopped breathing and lost the power of speech.

'Lunch,' he offered, when he got no response, cocking his head to one side, in a gesture she knew so well.

His plan for lunch as it turned out, was the short walk back to the café for sandwiches and a pot of tea, for which she was very grateful. The way she felt at that moment, she doubted that she would be able to eat at all.

Harry certainly didn't look unwell in fact considering that less than a week ago he had been beaten half senseless, he looked particularly well. He looked nervous she could see that and so was she, but one or other of them needed to break the ice. She was just about to ask him how he was, when he turned towards her and dared to hold her hand. Resisting the urge to ask him what he was doing, she left her hand where it was and waited for him to speak. During all the years that she had known him, she had seen every emotion cross his face, but only once has she seen him cry. Even then he had claimed that it had been the wind, but there could be no such excuse for that today. For the life of her, she didn't know what to do, so saying a silent prayer of forgiveness to George, she put her hands on either side of his face and wiped away his tears.

He took a huge breath and doing his best to maintain eye contact, he stumbled through virtually the same words as he had spoken to Ros. The fact that he was now saying _you_ as opposed to Ruth, made it the most honest and open declaration that either of them had made to the other. He made no mention of his plans to spend a month away from the grid and that he wanted her to come with him; that was for later. Finally, he told her that he loved her.


	3. Chapter 3

To say that Ruth was stunned by the openness of his declaration wasn't in question, but if anything she was even more confused. He had always worn his heart on his sleeve especially when it had come to her, so it hadn't entirely surprised her that he had got upset. The fact that he had accepted that for the past year she had to all intents and purposes been married to George, she couldn't understand. Whatever his reasons he needed to be told the truth, which had been something that had been in short supply throughout her time with George. If this, _whatever it was_ between her and Harry was going to stand any chance, then this was the moment to get it right. She still loved him, she was in no doubt about that but after everything that she had done, whether he would forgive her or she had the courage to commit to him, was something completely different. She had the added pressure of her rendezvous at the Greek Embassy, which she hadn't known about until Jo had delivered the letter, but presumably Harry knew about that.

In the time that they had been sitting there, the tables at the café had started to fill up, and they had lost the privacy that they needed. Harry had bought them another drink and still insisting that he held her hand, they had walked around the lake to a completely deserted spot and to another bench.

'I want to be honest with you Harry, and this isn't going to be easy, for either of us,' she said, taking a huge gulp of air before ploughing on. 'I won't make any excuses as to why I moved in with George and Nico, I was alone, and frightened and as far as I knew, would never be able to come home. I had been working at the hospital for a while and was looking for somewhere permanent to live. George offered me a roof over my head, with my own room and with no strings attached. His wife had died and he was lonely and although I never told him who it was, he knew that I had also lost someone too. It was several months before our relationship became anything other than platonic, but it was inevitable I suppose that I eventually moved into his bedroom. I can't deny that it was the release that we both needed, but there was never one single moment when he touched me, that I didn't wish that it was you.'

Had she really said that ,how she didn't know, because for the entire time that she had been speaking, Harry's eyes had never left hers. Now comes the difficult part she thought, the here and now that she desperately wanted to change. She went on to tell him how everything had spiralled from the moment that they had arrived back and Malcolm had taken her onto the grid. How comfortably at home she had felt and how frightened she had been when Ros had told her that he was in terrible danger. When Ros had asked her what it was that he had shared with her that nobody else would know, she had finally acknowledged that there had always been, _something more_ between them.

* * *

'Once we join the service,' he said, kissing her gently, his face now buried in her hair, 'we become anonymous, even to those we love. In your case, George and Nico became part of that, but it wasn't your fault that he died. It will take time, but you will find a way to live with it Ruth, you have to.'

This simple act of comfort was all that it had taken and now it was her turn to cry. Neither of them had wanted to move, but her appointment was less than an hour and she was running out of time. She didn't know what Jo had meant, when she said Harry was going away, and he hadn't told her about his plans. In for a penny, he thought, she can only say no.

'So, I'll see you at seven,' he said, bending down to kiss her forehead. She had said yes.

* * *

Having said their goodbyes, Ruth had four hours before she would be seeing him again, less if she took out the hour that she expected to be at the embassy. Most of her clothes had been left in Cyprus and she could hardly go for a drink in the same clothes that she was wearing now. She hated shopping particularly for clothes but needs must. Keeping one eye on the clock, she had made her purchases and having finally got back to her flat, was sitting down with a cup of tea. Trying to blank out the fact that she had told Harry that she had imagined him touching her was proving difficult and in the cold light of day embarrassing. Quite how the evening would pan out would have to wait, she needed to get change and then go out.

Not surprisingly, Harry had thought of little else other than Ruth's confession that she had wished that it had been him that was touching her. The fact that she had slept with someone else was difficult to reconcile, but then who was he to talk. She had been so honest about the reasons and unlike him who had just gone back to work, she had been cast adrift in a completely alien environment. Whether or not she still felt the same about him now, he wasn't sure, but the fact that she had agreed to see him again had opened a door and he wasn't about to let the opportunity pass him by. With a renewed hope that maybe his enforced break from work wouldn't be on his own, he switched on his computer.

* * *

It was exactly 7pm when he parked his car and picked up the flowers from the passenger seat. Walking the short distance along the narrow road where she now lived, he felt a deep sense of regret that she was currently living in a safe house. He had reimbursed Ros and Malcolm for the extra things that they had bought on his behalf, but none the less it was still a far cry from the house she had once owned. Boyed by the fact that he had told her that he loved her, he rang the bell.

It was Jo who opened the door.


	4. Chapter 4

Ruth had arrived at the embassy without a moment to spare and had been escorted through the foyer to a suite of rooms overlooking the garden. Tea had arrived and with it the ambassador's wife who had smiled broadly at her and asked her to take a seat. She had been wracking her brains in an effort to decide why she had been asked to come to this meeting, when she was handed what she instantly recognised as a file with a Polis letter heading, and a copy of George's will.

'I see by your face, that this has come as a surprise to you,' said her host, as Ruth stared wide eyed at the paperwork that she had been asked to sign. 'There is absolutely no doubt that this is what your partner wanted, we've had the paperwork authenticated by the authorities at home. The decision is yours and there's absolutely no rush, but if you do want to go ahead, then once we've been through the formalities, my daughter will bring him in.'

'May I take a moment,' asked a stunned Ruth as she re read the declaration, that should anything happen to him, George had appointed her as Nico's guardian. She and George had never discussed family, but until now she had always assumed that he had one. She was in no doubt, that she was going to say yes, but it was the practicalities that were frightening her. She had been living under an alias for more than two years and as far as the authorities here were concerned, she was dead. Add that to the fact that she had no home or a job, it sounded completely impossible, but the alternatives for Nico and for her were unthinkable.

* * *

'Ruth's won't be long,' said Jo, wondering just how long she was going to have to make small talk and quite probably lie to her now anxious looking boss. She had just been about to leave Thames House having done a twelve hour shift, when Ruth had called, pleading with her to go round to her flat and as she put it, _keep Harry there_ until she got home. A cheerful Harry, dressed in casual clothes and carrying a bunch of flowers was a revelation in itself, but how Ruth supposed she was going to keep him entertained, she didn't know, this was Ruth's territory not hers. Mercifully, he had accepted the fact that Ruth had been delayed and hadn't asked her why she was there, as for what felt like an eternity, she had rambled on about how busy things were on the grid. To be honest, he looked completely at home and had just offered to make her a second cup of coffee, when the door opened and Ruth staggered in. Despite wishing she was anywhere other than here, she was fascinated by the look that passed between them.

'Can somebody take this,' pleaded Ruth, indicating the huge bag that was dangling from her shoulder, as she bent down and kissed the head of a very tired and tear stained eight year old.

'I have to get him to bed,' she said, looking at Harry with what Jo recognised as a please don't leave me expression, as he sprung into action and picked up the bag. 'Let's see if we can find you're pyjamas,' she said gently,' nodding to Harry to search through the bag, as she started to undress Nico. Harry for his part was coping manfully with no outward signs of the confusion he now felt, as he watched the woman he loved with the child she had never expected to see again. He was awestruck by how comfortable they looked together, but then of course she had spent months with him, and this would come as second nature. She may not have loved his father, but she clearly loved his son.

Whilst Ruth had been struggling for the best part of an hour to get Nico to go to sleep, Harry's mind had been going twenty to the dozen. He had no idea why Ruth had arrived with Nico, but the first thing he that he needed to do was to make them something to eat. Assuming that she didn't intend going back to Cyprus, _and please god, she didn't,_ they needed somewhere else to live. It had been bad enough that she had been here on her own, but it was impossible now. There was also, the not so small problem of getting her identity back, but he could talk to Ros, there was a way they could something about that. Stubborn Ruth might be, but she had been let down too many times in the past, and he wasn't going to let it happen this time.

Ruth meanwhile, had been lying on the bed and cuddling Nico in an attempt to get him to sleep,. She had been worrying and in all honesty frightened as to how she was going to cope, with what now was essentially her child.

'What are you doing in my kitchen,' she asked, as she opened the door to see Harry, making what looked like omelettes and pouring water onto a pot of tea.

'Well, strictly speaking, it's my kitchen,' he said, 'I own this place as awful as it is. I bought it years ago when Jane threw me out. It was near work and I just never got round to selling it. Anyway, I was hungry and I assumed you were to, so take these would you.'

The closeness to Thames House, the new things that had been bought, it all made sense, but did it matter, no it didn't, the most important thing was that he was here. He was right too, she was hungry, as apart from a biscuit with her tea at the embassy, the last thing she had eaten were the sandwiches at lunchtime.

'I'm sorry that I've been so quiet, she said after about half an hour, but I'm just so tired.' It was close to midnight, they had finished their meal and after Harry had insisted that he wash up, they were sitting on the sofa.

'I'd better let you get to bed,' he said in a voice filled with gentleness, 'but how about I bring breakfast, and then we can talk about where we go from here.'

In the five years that they had known each other they had been to hell and back and here they were again, with a huge mountain to climb. But in the space of just one day everything had changed, and they had never been closer. It was the most unromantic of surroundings, but he didn't care.

'Mani was wrong Ruth,' he said as he stroked her face, 'ours was never going to be a brief encounter.'


	5. Chapter 5

Despite everything, Harry had slept remarkably well. How early was too early when it came to delivering breakfast he didn't know, but had the situation been different last night, he was fairly confident that Ruth and he would have been sharing more than breakfast in her bed. Having a small child in the house and one that was probably traumatised changed everything, so they would have to be cautious and maybe even wait. One thing that he did have control over was the opportunity to offer her and Nico a more comfortable roof over their heads, but again he needed to tread carefully and would have to be guided by Ruth. When had he ever done anything in recent years without being guided by her, he thought, would it always be so? Anyway, it was nearly seven and by the time he stopped at his favourite bakery and then drove across town, it would be close to eight before he got there. 'Come on Scarlet, time to go,' he called.

Ruth had slept fitfully with fractured nightmares in which she was back in the hands of Mani, but it was Nico that was with her and it was Harry that he was going to kill. By five o'clock she had got to the stage that she was too frightened to go back to sleep and had been sitting drinking tea, wondering if it was too early and if Harry would be cross if she called him. As a consequence, by the time he arrived, she'd had too much caffeine and had worked herself up into a terrible state.

'I'm sorry, it's just, it's just,' she spluttered, as he followed her into the kitchen.

In all his fantasies of which there had been thousands, his first passionate kiss with Ruth had always been instigated by him. Not so today it seemed, as with more courage and strength than she had ever shown before, she pulled him towards her and kissed him soundly. It spoke of desperation and of hunger, with an irrefutable message that told him she was his. For longer than was probably wise, given that Nico could have walked in and found them, they lost themselves in each other, as hands explored areas as yet untouched. This was reckless and things were rapidly getting out of hand, or in, depending how you looked at it, so despite his desperate desire to take it further, he knew they had to stop.

'Later,' he whispered, as he gently removed her hands from where they had wandered and bent down to retrieve the bag of croissants that Scarlet was chasing across the floor.

'I'm sorry,' she said, as she fumbled in an effort to straighten her hair and retie her dressing gown that Harry had managed to undo.

'Don't be, I'm not,' said a now smiling Harry, 'and stop saying you're sorry.' So much for good intensions he thought as he took a deep breath to compose himself, it was hopeless once he was near her. 'You go and wake Nico and I'll sort out the breakfast, then we'll decide what we're going to do with the rest of our day.'

He had no idea what children ate for breakfast any more, but assuming that they were hungry it was probably almost everything. In such a scruffy kitchen, no matter what you did it would never feel homely, but by the time Ruth and Nico came back washed and dressed, he had managed for find a cloth for the table and with some fruit juice, cereal and the large plate of croissants, minus the one that Scarlet had disappeared with, it did look more cheerful.

'Nico this is Harry,' Ruth said for a second time, to the child who was completely ignoring her and gazing at Scarlet, with the largest brown eyes, he had ever seen.

'Breakfast's ready' said Harry in an effort help, as he watched the interaction that was going on between Nico and Scarlet, who was wagging her tail in appreciation of his attention. As he made their tea and poured a glass of milk for Nico, it gave him another chance to watch Ruth and Nico together. As much as he hated the word, they had an indescribable bond as Nico smiled at Ruth and slowly started to relax. It was more than twenty years since his children had been the same age and at a stage in his marriage, when every attempt to be a good father had been thrown back in his face. Whether he could ever be part of this small family he didn't know, he just knew he was desperate to try.

Whilst he and Ruth were washing up, Nico and Scarlet had cuddled up on the sofa and he was telling her a story about a boy and a dog.

'Don't ask me,' said Ruth, 'I've never heard it before, but he certainly looks happier.' Scarlet for her part was fast asleep, but that didn't seem to bother Nico as he patted her head and chatted away, as though they had been friends for years.

'How about we go for a walk in the park,' suggested Harry 'then maybe we could go back to my house, there are some things I want to ask you.'

'Which reminds me,' said Ruth, 'Jo said you were going away.'

'Did she now?' he said smiling, 'well that's one of the things I want us to talk about. Come on Ruth, we could do with some fresh air.'

By the time they were ready to leave, it was gone eleven, but with nothing else to do for the rest of the day and for the foreseeable future, except spend it with Ruth and Nico, Harry was happy.

'Can I hold Scarlet's lead,' Nico asked Ruth as they walked through the park gates.

'You need to ask Harry, Scarlet's his dog not ours,' she told him, in the vain hope that he might speak to Harry.

'I'll tell you what,' said Harry looking at Nico, 'why don't we go over there to that big space and you can let Scarlet off her lead. She'll chase the pigeons, it's her favourite game and then when I call her back, you can walk her home.' Very slowly, almost as though he was a miniature Ruth who was analysing the question, he looked up at Harry and nodded.

'Go on then,' said Ruth pointing, as much to Harry as to Nico, 'I'll go and get us a drink and you two go and sit on that bench and watch Scarlet.' It was a singularly poignant moment particularly for Ruth, as she watched them walk away. Maybe this can work she thought, because I really can't face this on my own.

.


	6. Chapter 6

There was a queue at the café, so it was a while before Ruth arrived back with their drinks. 'Tea,' she offered as she sat down beside him and handed him one of the cups that she was carrying. About fifty yards away, Nico and Scarlet were running hell for leather in pursuit of pigeons, none of which they had any hope of catching. As they skirted a huge oak tree and turned for home, the sheer joy on Nico's face took her breathe away.

'He just raced after Scarlet the moment she was off her lead,' said Harry, 'I hope that's OK?'

'Harry, I know how difficult this must be for you, but you don't need my permission when it comes to Nico, just look at him,' she said, taking his hand.

'So, we're in this together?'

'Yes,' she said, 'we're in this together.'

Having responded to Harry's call, Scarlet arrived back with Nico hot on her heels. Between taking huge gulps of his orange drink and hiccupping, he took them completely by surprise by putting his hand on Harry's knee and asking if they could do this again tomorrow.

'Well, I'm sure we can, but we'll need to ask Scarlet and see what she wants,' he told a now giggling Nico.

'Harry was wondering if you'd like to see where Scarlet lives,' Ruth told him, after they had finished their drinks and were walking back across the park. Or in other words, _Harry has asked me if we would move in with him._ Was it so wrong to want this so much, so soon after all that had happened? It was it the right thing for her, but how about Nico? The alternative was to walk away, and she had done that too many times before. Having called at the flat, so that she could get Nico changed and pick up a few things, they had driven across town and were now parked outside Harry's house. She had always known where it was, in fact she could remember when he had moved there after his suspension, but in all the years that she had known him, she had never been inside. Did Harry want her there, unquestionably yes, but would they be able to live under the same roof with an eight year old child, only time would tell.

'Wow,' said Nico as they walked into the kitchen to be greeted by the two feline members of the Pearce menagerie. 'Are they yours?

'Not exactly, I've been looking after them for a friend,' he said, as his eyes locked with Ruths. 'That one's called Fidget and the little ones called Smudge, you can help me look feed them if you like.

'And this is Scarlet,' echoed Nico as the weary pooch wandered in.

Once Nico and Scarlet had been settled on the sofa where they were watching cartoons, Harry and Ruth escaped to the kitchen to prepare their meal. There were a million and one things that they needed to talk about, but for a few precious moments, it was sufficient that they were on their own. Pasta with whatever was in his fridge was _the dish of the day,_ Harry joked, unless Ruth fancied fish and chips or a takeaway, which he confessed he pretty much lived on. He opened a bottle of wine and as they sat either side of the table, he raised his glass.

'To you Ruth, welcome home,' he said. For a few blissful moments they were able to indulge themselves in each other, until with the combined clatter of feet and small paws and with a sign of things to come, Nico and Scarlet ran through the door, demanding to be fed. Whilst Harry fed Scarlet and at the same time kept an eye on the dinner, Ruth took Nico upstairs to wash his hands. They had barely sat down, when as Ruth was dishing up the pasta, the doorbell rang. With a look at Ruth that said what now, he disappeared out into the hall.

'Harry,' said Ros, as she looked him up and down and thought how much better he looked since the last time she had seen him. He certainly looked different in casual clothes, far better than when he was booted and suited.

The more the merrier he thought grudgingly as they walked back in the direction of his kitchen, were they ever going to get any peace? He was just about to open the door when he realised that this potentially created a complication and that Nico couldn't be allowed to know that Ruth knew someone that he worked with.

'Ruth, this is Ros,' he said with consummate ease, as Ros leaned over and shook Ruth's hand.

'Are you Harry's girlfriend?' asked a small voice.

As three pairs of lungs stopped functioning, Harry froze, Ruth tried not to laugh and Ros with a look on her face that said you have got to be kidding, smiled sweetly at Nico and said, 'no, I'm just a neighbour.'

'Sorry, would you like to join us,' said Harry, trying to defuse the situation by pouring Ros a drink and indicating that she should sit down.

For a child who less than twelve hours ago, had barely been able to string a few words together, Nico found his voice. Unabridged and with the innocence that can only come from one so young, he regaled a now smiling Ros with a full account of their day. 'Harry brought us breakfast this morning,' he told her and then proudly announced 'that he and Ruth were going to stay the night.'

'Oh isn't that lovely,' said Ros, as she raised an eyebrow and nodded at a now resigned Harry.

Much later, when Nico had been tucked up in bed, with the promise that if he stayed there until the morning, Scarlet could sleep in his room, Harry and Ruth having opened another bottle of wine, were lying on the sofa. He told that he had been forced to take leave and why, and that he had planned a holiday which was still an option before he went back to work. Ros he said, was going to talk to the Home Secretary and that they were pretty sure that they could get her identity back, but most importantly, he did want her and Nico to move in with him.

'You do understand that this isn't going to be easy,' said Ruth, trying desperately to stay in control as Harry's lips played a tune across her throat. 'We will live with you Harry, because I want us to be together in every way, but we have to take things slowly.'

'Whatever you say Ruth,' he whispered in that same voice that made her loose all sense of reason and know that whatever he wanted, she would say yes.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been years in the making, but from the moment that he kissed her, the outcome was inevitable. Despite the voice in her head that was screaming at her that this was too soon, her last coherent thought, was that she had never wanted anything as much. 'Shush, he's asleep, he assured her,' as the passion that up until now had been contained and denied, completely engulfed them. Had they had too much to drink, quite probably they had, but as cushions flew and clothes hit the floor, they tumbled onto the rug and in front of the fire. It was sex pure and simple with none of the preamble or afterglow, but as Harry shuddered inside her, she knew with an unshakable certainty, that there was no going back.

'You nip upstairs for our dressing gowns and look in on Nico and I'll put the kettle on,' he said quietly, as they gathered up their clothes.

'Fast asleep,' she told him as she sat back down on the now tidy settee as Harry poured the tea.

'Unlike us,' he said in a voice that made her toes curl and with what Ruth thought to be a 'when can we do that again' question in his eyes.

'This holiday, you were talking about,' she asked, needing to change the subject, in an attempt to get her still racing heart under control. 'Where were you going?'

'I hadn't really decided, but if you and Nico are coming with me, which I assume you are, then we need to find something completely different, that he won't have done in Cyprus.

'A ship,' squealed Nico, still too young to understand the difference between a ship and a boat as Harry showed him a picture of a narrowboat on the Norfolk Broads. They had spent more than hour looking at holiday options that were available at short notice and based on the fact that Nico would rather share a room with Scarlet than either of them, Harry had persuaded Ruth that the fact that there were only two bedrooms wouldn't be a problem. 'Stop worrying in advance,' he told her with a smile on his face, 'whatever happens, we'll sort it out.'

Two days later with Fidget and Smudge in the care of the neighbours, Captain Nico, as Harry had taken to calling him and his crew were ready to go. He had called Ros to say that he would be away for two weeks and that unless there was a dire emergency, he wasn't to be contacted. She had made a nautical comment that wasn't repeatable, but with plenty of good wishes that they had a good time. It had been years since he had been away with anything more than a small case, so packing for three and a small and excitable dog, became a real challenge. With maps, wet weather gear and heaven knows what else crammed into the boot, they finally set off.

'Rules,' snapped Bert, the man in charge of the boatyard as he tapped his clipboard and with a voice that sounded remarkably like Harry's on the grid, told him to pay attention. 'Life vest for the kid at all times,' he said pointing at Nico, 'and watch the dog, they have been known to fall in.' For God's sake keep your voice down, thought Harry, although Nico was far too busy helping Ruth, to hear his comment. 'Remember to drive on the right and come back with as many fenders as you can,' were Bert's last instructions, as he stuffed the keys in Harry's hand and wished them Bon Voyage. 'And a Bon voyage to you,' muttered Harry under his breath, as Bert wandered in the direction of his next victim.

Nico pronounced his life jacket cool, not a word normally enjoyed by Harry, but when he also opted to share with Scarlet and seemed quite happy that he and Ruth would be sharing a room, he forgave him anything. As Ruth re heated the casserole that she had made the day before and he peeled the potatoes, Nico set about rifling through a cupboard filled with board games. Had Harry ever felt this content, he very much doubted it? He was with the woman he loved and somehow or other, he had been given this chance.

Morning has broken, as the hymn goes, happened by way of a dawn chorus of ducks and swans. Their neighbours, who it seemed had nothing better to do at 7am, were feeding them breakfast, whereas Harry, who had been planning on making love since he had first woken at six, was dealt another blow when Nico burst in declaring that he needed a wee. 'Can't work the handle,' he beseeched Harry, as he hopped up and down. The handle in question was a small and quite intricate one that opened the door to the bathroom. Making a mental note to leave the door open or better still, give Nico a bucket, he climbed over Ruth and out of bed. Ruth meantime had pulled the duvet over her head and decided that as male bonding appeared to be the order of the day, she could go back to sleep. Wishful thinking as it turned out, as Harry bundled back in and asked her to pass his trousers - Scarlet needed a walk.

'I'll just get breakfast then shall I?' she groaned, as he gave her a smouldering look, and left the room.

The chief advantage of being first in the bathroom was that the water was still hot. After that, it relied on the engine running and subsequent showers, to be taken in shifts. By the time, the two men in her life had returned, she had showered, dressed and mastered the kitchen, where a breakfast of bacon and egg was all but ready. In such a small space you needed to be tidy, which fortunately came as second nature to Harry, so by the time that they were ready to set off for the day, the washing up had been done and the bedrooms had been tidied. Leaving their mooring for the first time wasn't quite as easy as it looked, especially as their newly acquired neighbours who were obviously more experienced, decided to watch.

'Do you need a hand mate?' was not something usually aimed at the head of Counter Terrorism, but with their dignity intact and Harry at the helm, Nico and Scarlet tucked in beside him. Ruth however, who had never been sporty, had to cast the ropes and then jump back on. After a second attempt and an encouraging smile from Harry, they were now travelling at five miles an hour in what was _almost_ a straight line. The first lock that they would have to negotiate was an easy one, so the book said, and it was just over an hour away.

It was the first real chance that Ruth had had, to sit back and watch Nico with Harry. They were sitting side by side, as Nico, whose attention was entirely on Harry, asked him questions about how to steer the boat and what he had to do to stop it. Whether Harry knew the answers she wasn't sure, but for someone who had always claimed to be a rubbish father, he was coping very well.


	8. Chapter 8

In was mid –September and with most children back at school, it soon became clear that they had made a good choice for their holiday. For long portions of each day, they saw virtually no one and were able to moor up wherever they liked and take Scarlet for walks along the towpath, to be met only by locals. On such a small boat came the ultimate test when it came to _getting on,_ but as they headed towards the end of their second week, the equilibrium was still intact. Harry and Ruth had managed some of the privacy that they craved and Nico had the freedom to be the child that he was. Nico's life in Cyprus had been simple, so he had no expectation of material things. As long as during each day, they gave some of their time over to him, he seemed content to do whatever they suggested. The waterways were interspersed with small villages and tourist attractions especially for children, so when they weren't negotiating sharp bends or boats coming in the opposite direction, they fell into to a now familiar pattern of shopping daily, occasionally eating out, but most importantly doing family oriented things. Despite their watchful concern, Nico remained comfortable with Harry, helped of course by Scarlet who was his constant companion.

Hanging over them, was the rapidly advancing issue of their return to London, when Harry would have go back to work and Nico would need to start school. Amongst the huge amount of paperwork that Ruth had been given, was the suggestion that in the short term, Nico should attend a small private school attached to the Greek Embassy. He would be secure, safe and above all, it was somewhere where there would be no questions as to his parentage. Should Ruth decide to move out of London, then there was always the option that Nico could board, but she was adamant that she didn't want that to happen. George had left her sufficient money to ensure that Nico could be well looked after for at least a couple of years, but after that it would be up to her. Finding a job was a priority, but there was no question that she would return to MI5. Whatever she did, she wanted it to be during normal hours, so that she would be able to take Nico to and from school, just as she had done in Cyprus, and to be at home for him during the evenings and at weekends. How they would explain Harry's lengthy absences and his ridiculously long hours they didn't know, although a lot of those had been down to the fact that until now, he had little or no incentive to go home.

On a beautifully balmy evening on what was their last but one night, they moored up outside a small pub within a few miles of the boathouse.

'The menu looks good and when will we get another chance to do this?' Harry said, as after what had been a long day, they booked a table outside.

Nico was already tired, so when he announced that he wanted to go to bed, Ruth took him and Scarlet back to the boat and settled him down. 'We're just outside,' she assured him, as she kissed him goodnight.

Nico had proved to be a quick learner and having been instructed in the workings of the bathroom door, their nights had been pretty much uninterrupted. Despite this, they had so far been very restrained, always conscious that he was less than 30 feet away. There was almost an inevitability that something would happen for that to change as on what turned out to be a very special night, mother- nature took a hand. As the last of the locals drifted away, they wandered back into the bar and settled their bill. By the time they came out again, the sky had clouded over and the heavens had opened. It was either stand there until the rain stopped or run for it, as with one look at each other, Harry grabbed her hand and ran. A soaking wet Ruth, whose clothes were clinging to her and exposing every curve of her now shivering body, was all that it took for an already frustrated and equally wet Harry to lose his resolve.

'Allow me,' he whispered in the most seductive voice she had ever heard, as he peeled off her clothes. Whether she was shivering from the cold, or the fact that Harry's hands were already roaming, under the large towel that he had wrapped around her, she didn't know, but as he backed her into the bathroom and turned on the shower, it was obvious where this was going. With the combination of the rain hammering on the roof and the hot water cascading over their now naked bodies, adding to what was already a highly charged atmosphere, Harry kissed her. What up until now had been one frantic act on a rug and two weeks of frustration became the best sex that Ruth had ever had. In all her fantasies and dreams, it had always been Harry and as his hands slowly worked their way down her body, she responded to his every touch. She had never been touched like this and was shuddering with pleasure from the moment that he kissed her breasts. By the time he was stroking her between her thighs it was all she could do not to scream. With a daring, that for her went way beyond anything she had ever done, she teased him towards her and eased him in. He held back, wanting it to last as he moved slowly at first and then gently increased the pace, until the moment that was, when Ruth moaned against him.

Had it not been for the fact that the water had started to go cold and Harry, who had lost the ability to think, couldn't reach the taps, they would have stayed there. With the moment broken and wrapped in their towels, Ruth headed for the sanctuary of a warm bed and as was becoming their after sex habit, Harry made them tea. Had he been ten years younger, then it was quite likely that they would have done this again, but he was totally spent and he suspected she was too. On what had been an unexpected but glorious night, they lay side by side and gazed into the others eyes. It was only a few hours until Nico would be demanding his breakfast so they really needed to sleep, but not before he rolled her towards him and kissed her goodnight.


	9. Chapter 9

The overriding factor, when it came to Ruth either moving in or not with Harry, was for Nico to be happy. Despite both he and Ruth wanting to go back to his house, he had dropped them off at the flat and had driven away. As soon as he had disappeared out of sight, Nico had erupted into an almighty tantrum, which Ruth knew full well had nothing to do with Harry, but was because he had had to say goodbye to Scarlet. Up until now, he had never wanted a pet of his own, so why he had taken such a liking to Harry's small dog, she didn't know. Left on her own for the first time in two weeks, with a petulant and now wailing child, she felt a huge void without Harry's support. Nico had always questioned everything, but this was the first time that she had had to cope with it alone. Not only that, the flat felt more claustrophobic and awful than when they had left it, so the thought that she might actually have to stay there, if only in the short term, made her even more determined to sort things out. With Nico now refusing to come out of his room or to eat anything, she was at a loss. She had never lost her temper with him as George had done, in fact thinking about it, that was probably where Nico had inherited his stubbornness. There had been too many a battles during the months that she had lived with them, but in the end, it had always been her that Nico had turned to for comfort. Concluding that the best option was to leave him alone until he calmed down, she made herself a cup of tea and something to eat.

True to his word, Harry rang her as soon as he got home, which was when she was pusing her now cold scrambled eggs around her plate.

'How are you?' was the first thing he said, followed by a sigh when she told him what had happened. 'Promise me you'll call me later Ruth, he said, 'no matter what time it is.'

It was close to what would normally have been Nico's bedtime, when his door opened and he wandered over and cuddled into Ruth who was curled up on the sofa. She had been gifted this broken little soul and he was lovely when he was like this. Her heart went out to him, combined with the dreadful sense of responsibility that was now squarely on her shoulders. With a promise that she would take him to see Scarlet tomorrow, she kissed him goodnight and took him back to bed.

'I don't care how late it is, I'm coming over,' said Harry, when she rang him around eleven and told him that Nico was upset as a result of a story that Malcolm had told him. 'You mean there's more?' he asked, when she said that there were still some things that she needed to tell him about her relationship with George.

Armed with a small bag, plus Scarlet and her bed, made it pretty obvious that he planned to stay the night, as even by Harry's fast driving standards, he must have had broken speed limits, to have got there in less than an hour.

In between breaks to catch her breath, she told him how Nico was hiding himself in the make believe story that Malcolm had told him, when he had been trying to save him. He had been very upset when he had told her, but the gist of it was, that Nico believed that as long as he had Scarlet with him, he would be safe. How they would deal with this they didn't know, but in the short term, Harry was more than happy for him to have Scarlet.

'Now the other thing I have to tell you, she said, with a deep sigh, 'my relationship with George was very complicated.'

'More than ours,' he said, putting his arms round her waist, when they were back in the kitchen and making the inevitable cup of tea.

Born out of a sense of loyalty and combined with guilt, she had never told anyone what she was about to tell Harry, but he needed and deserved the truth. George had been a chameleon and having lost his wife quite soon after Nico had been born, he had suffered mood swings in the extreme. He had hidden it well and the George that most people saw, especially when he lost himself in his work, was the one that she had moved in with. The other George, would on a bad day, spend extra hours at work, shutting himself off from both her and Nico, to the point where she sometimes wondered, if perhaps one day, he might not come home at all. He had never been physically violent to either of them, but his temper and intolerance, especially towards Nico, was something that she had struggled to cope with. Despite all this, Nico had still loved his Dad, but was a damaged little boy.

Harry was horrified as he contemplated her words. She was describing him. Transported back all those years ago when Jane had screamed at him in front of their children, that he was a bastard and a crap father. Was Ruth thinking the same thing and weighing up whether or not he would be the same with her and Nico, surely not, but he had to ask the question.

'For God's sake Harry,' she said, grabbing both his hands, 'That was then and this is now and I'm not Jane. Do you really think that I would let you within a mile of Nico, if I didn't trust you? I've just spent two weeks with the two of you, I don't think you even realise do you, how good you are with him?'

It was quite a speech and he didn't know how to respond, other than to kiss her. It had been years since he had seen her so full of passion and he loved it. She always sold herself short, when in reality, she was so much more capable than him.

'Right, we're going to bed,' he said, pulling her up, 'because I suspect, that very early tomorrow morning, we're going to be woken up by one happy and excited little boy.'

There was still a lot more to be talk about, but they were both tired and as Harry put it, tomorrow was another day. It was a racing certainty that Ruth and Nico would be moving in with him, which would involve speaking to the DG and increasing his security. Ros had been telling him for ages, that he should stop putting himself in the firing line and stay behind his desk. She was right and now was the time. He would talk to Malcolm and maybe arrange for him to see Nico again, providing that he could even find him. Jane, well she was no longer his concern, but he would certainly have to talk to Catherine and hopefully Graham, and how would that go?


	10. Chapter 10

'Sorry Harry, have I disturbed you?' said Ros, in a voice that said, 'of course I have, and I bet you're still in bed.'

'Yes, of course she's here,' replied a sleepy Harry, dragging his face from where it had been buried in Ruth's hair as she slept on. She had been absolutely exhausted the previous evening, as had he, and the last thing he needed at seven in the morning was a call from Thames House.

'I have news,' said Ros, as she heard him turn over. 'I assume that you'll be pleased that I rang you, because my meeting with the Home Secretary went well and I'm holding a letter with the outcome you wanted.'

'In that case, thanks Ros I'm really very grateful,' said Harry, 'we'll catch up next week.'

Before they had fallen asleep, they had talked long and hard about how to deal with Nico. It was fairly obvious that eventually they would have to put down some boundaries and not give in to his every wish, but until they were absolutely sure that he was comfortable with their relationship and that they could deal with the problems together, then they would leave things be. They had at least planned the first day of their weekend and if Nico had calmed down, then they would tell him about their decision and providing he was happy, today would be the day that he and Ruth would move in. She had remembered that Jo had talked about having a younger brother, so she was going to ring her and ask if she would look after Nico, while they made the trips to and from Harry's house. Jo had also played a big part in the fact that they were together and Ruth was anxious to thank her.

Easing himself out of bed as quietly as he could, Harry had got halfway to the bathroom when he was waylaid by Nico. 'Come and see,' he whispered with his finger over his mouth as though he wanted to share a secret, as he dragged him in the direction of his bedroom. It was fairly obvious what was going on and as Nico pointed to a sleeping Scarlet at the end of his bed, Harry, in a voice that up until then had been reserved for his children at Christmas, said 'oh where did she come from?' As Nico shrugged his shoulders, he pressed on. 'Well,' said the head of Section D, in a voice, certainly never heard on the grid, 'when we got home, I realised that she was missing you, so I had to bring her back.'

All was forgiven and back to normal, in the short term anyway, as Ruth, still yawning and tired after the trauma of the previous evening laid the table, and Harry sorted out the cereal, toast and tea.

'Yes, yes, yes,' said Nico, when Ruth sat him down and explained that they would be leaving the flat this morning and moving in with Harry. She had already told him that he would soon be starting school and that it would be at the same school as Louise and Daniel, who he had met at the Embassy. 'Now,' she added with her fingers crossed, 'Harry and I are going to move our things, so a friend of Harry's is going to come and stay with you for the day, is that OK?'

Mercifully when Jo arrived and he introduced her to Ruth, there was no question from Nico as to whether or not she was Harry's girlfriend. 'She's nice,' whispered Nico to Harry, his new confidant, as Harry raised an eyebrow at Jo, when she produced a box of what he recognised as defunct gadgets made by Malcolm and Colin. Telling Jo, to 'help herself to anything she wanted and that included lunch,' Ruth kissed Nico goodbye and followed Harry to the car.

'Do we have to go back?' he asked her, as they sat on the bed after the third trip and she was packing the last of their cases. It had been days since they had been on their own and when would they get this chance again. He had that look in his eyes that was impossible to resist, as he moved the case onto the floor and lay down. 'Come on Ruth,' he said, in a voice filled with desire, as patted the mattress beside him. It was the first time that they had been on their own without fear of interruption and there was something illicit about how it made her feel. That and the sudden desire to feel Harry's hands working the magic as they always did. This time though, it was daytime and they could see each other and Harry knew that Ruth was shy.

'Close your eyes Ruth,' he said quietly, as he slowly undressed her, with a gentleness and patience that up until now, he hadn't possessed. There had been one frantic evening on the rug and one crazy night of discovery in the shower and now this. It was slow measured and more satisfying than Ruth had ever known, as Harry, determined to make it last, took her to a planet yet to be explored.

As a consequence, it was much later than planned when they arrived back at Harry's, and Ruth could see by the look on Jo's face, that she knew why. Harry, who was still feeling very pleased with himself, was oblivious to the look that Jo was giving them.

'I need to change,' said Ruth, as she headed for the stairs, 'then I'll sort some dinner.'

'Pizza please, and can Jo stay?' asked Nico, when Harry suggested a takeaway and Jo made a move to leave.

* * *

'Is he always as good as this?' asked Jo, nodding in the direction of the kitchen, where Harry stood washing up as she and Ruth sat on the sofa with another glass of wine. Nico had already asked if Harry could put him to bed, another first in the new Pearce household.

She had sat through their meal watching the interaction between them, astounded by the change in the atmosphere in the space of a few weeks. It was obvious that they were sleeping together which was something that should have happened years ago and probably would have done, if she hadn't opened her mouth. But it was more than that they were so relaxed with each other, almost as though they had always been together, which in a sense they had.

Ruth just nodded in response to Jo's question. There was no need for her to answer, besides which, what she and Harry shared, was something she herself couldn't explain.

'I really must be going,' said Jo tactfully, as Harry came back into the room and pictures of what they might be doing later resurfaced in her mind. She wondered if they had spoken to Malcolm, because he would be really pleased, but it was not up to her to tell him. Hugging Ruth as they stood by the door, she thought how stupid it would be to shake hands with Harry. Well they weren't at work now, so with a quick peck on his cheek, she bid them goodnight.


	11. Chapter 11

Having spent almost a month without wearing a tie, Harry found himself taking stock, when at seven thirty on the Monday morning of his first week back, he was kissing Ruth goodbye. Despite the strangeness of their situation, they had weathered the storm and were as close a couple as they had ever been. Had anyone told him, that he would so easily bond with an eight year old traumatised child, he would have questioned their sanity, but the thought of spending even a short time away from them, never mind an undetermined number of hours, made him feel strangely adrift. It hadn't been that long ago, when work was all he had lived for, but in the space of few weeks everything had changed and the edge had been chipped away from his enthusiasm to fight the fight. Besides which, his first meeting of the day was with the new Home Secretary Andrew Lawrence, who in his opinion had been parachuted in rather too quickly after his predecessors enforced dismissal.

'You take care now,' Ruth said, standing on tiptoe to kiss him again, 'and call me when you can.'

Nico was still sleeping, so she wandered back into the now empty kitchen. She had a vague plan for the day, one which included taking Nico to be fitted for his new school uniform and a trip to the supermarket to stock Harry's fridge. Just how often they would actually be able to sit down and eat a meal together was another question entirely, but now that he had agreed to give up his role as a field agent, there was some comfort in knowing, that for the best part of each day, he would be at Thames House. So why did she feel so apprehensive, maybe it was just her overactive imagination, or the sixth sense that she had always had when it came to Harry? Calm before the storm, she thought, when she turned on the news and the headlines indicated trouble brewing between India and Pakistan. Turn it off, she told herself you've made your choice, move on.

* * *

Ros was in early, despite the fact that she had worked late the previous evening, tying up loose ends and vacating Harry's desk. The letter from the now dismissed Home Secretary, enclosing Ruth's passport and a full account as to what had occurred since he had been away, was all that sat on his desk. She had enjoyed her month in charge, which had given her a whole new perspective into the workings of section D and more especially of Harry. She had come to understand his worth and the phrase 'the buck stops here', something that in the past she had taken for granted. It wasn't easy being the boss and running the thin line that prevented your colleagues from becoming a friend, she had missed him and she was looking forward to having him back.

* * *

'Hi sweetheart,' Ruth said to Nico, as he appeared at the door, rubbing his sleep filled eyes, 'as soon as we've had our breakfast, we'll take Scarlet for a walk and then we'll go out for the day.'

'Where's Harry?' he asked, as he tickled Scarlet behind the ears, the question that she knew she would always have to answer with a lie.

'He's gone to work, but we'll see him this evening,' she said, in a voice that implied Harry did a normal job, which was more for herself, than for Nico. Having to play the stay at home mum didn't come naturally, but until Nico had settled into this new routine, it was what they had determined she would do.

'Well, what do you think?' she asked him, as he stood in front of the mirror in his new school uniform, in a reception room at the embassy. She thought he looked sweet and very English, which was a ridiculous notion, as he smiled back at her and adjusted his cap and the long rather than short trousers that he had chosen. They had been met by and given a warm welcome from the Ambassador's wife, which had been a huge relief, because Nico had immediately relaxed. She had explained to both her and more importantly to Nico, exactly what lessons he would be taking and that there would be nine other children in his class. If only, thought Ruth, thinking back to her own school days when in a class of close to forty, she and a few others had huddled at the front in an effort to hear the teacher, whilst the majority of the class had run riot at the back. They were then given a tour of what was a very small school with a lovely garden and every facility that you could possibly imagine, including a small gym and a pool. Just as Ruth thought that they could make their escape, Louise appeared as if by magic and dragged Nico off to show him his classroom and introduce him to some of her friends, leaving Ruth unable to refuse the kind offer of coffee. It was a far less formal than the previous time and although this was Harry's kind of territory not hers, she did feel slightly less out of her depth. Even so, she was glad when Nico returned and they went back into a world that she recognised.

Lunch, shopping and a game in the park with Scarlet and their day was done, but as she stood in the kitchen and contemplated dinner, she still hadn't heard from Harry. A bizarre and frightening image came into her mind, of a Harry twenty years ago, when he had been married to Jane. This was how she must have felt, never knowing when or if he would come home. There would have been no mobile phones in those days and she would have never been allowed to ring him at work, but more than that his infidelity would have always been in question. That didn't apply now, she was absolutely certain about that, but the uncertainty as to where he was and whether he was safe would always be with her, now that _the honeymoon,_ for want of a better expression was over. Pull yourself together, she told herself. If living with Harry was ever going to work, she was going to have to be the catalyst not him. It might be his house, but she was going to have to run it and become the understanding partner that Jane had never been. She had always known how important his job was to him and the risks involved, so she needed to be strong and support him, not throw him a whole bucket of angst, every time that he was late getting home.

Having said that, when an hour later as Nico was quietly eating his dinner, she heard the key turn in the lock and then Harry call out that he was home, she raced from the kitchen and threw herself into his arms.

'So you've missed me.' He said, with a huge grin on his face.

Much later, when they were lying in bed and she had babbled on and then finally told him about her irrational fears, he rolled her over until their faces were within inches of each other.

'I promise you, he said, in a voice filled with absolute certainty, 'that as long as I live, whenever and wherever, I come home, it will only be to you.'


	12. Chapter 12

It's all over the news Harry, I can fill in the gaps,' Ruth said to him the following morning, when he refused to discuss their latest Op. 'I'm not a fool, so please don't treat me like one, it's just that with me sitting here and you God knows where, this is more difficult than I thought.'

All her resolutions of the previous day had faded on the wind, when she had woken at four with the current news going round and round in her head. Unable to go back to sleep, she had got up long before Harry, hell bent on having breakfast with him before he left for work. She was an analyst first and foremost and knew full well that if the current situation between, India and Pakistan wasn't resolved, it could well result in all-out war. Add China and then heaven knows who else into the mix, and the word nuclear loomed large in the frame. It had all seemed so simple when they had discussed her staying at home, but with the knowledge that she had accumulated over the years and her vivid imagination, she could picture scenario after scenario, all of which would put Harry in danger.

'I'm sorry, I really have to go,' said a now frazzled Harry, wondering why she had suddenly become so irrational and if it was just her hormones, although he knew better than to ask. 'We'll talk about this tonight, I promise,' he told her, swallowing the last of his coffee as he grabbed his keys. She knew that he was already under pressure and that she shouldn't be adding her concerns into the mix, besides which she didn't know why she felt so flaky, it just wasn't like her. She needed to say sorry and the best way to do that was to kiss him, so she followed him to the front door. She got her wish, as before he buttoned his coat, he held it open for her to walk inside. Wrapping it tightly round her, he kissed her as though his life depended on it. 'We'll talk tonight,' he whispered, 'I promise.'

'So what do you think of him?' asked Ros, when she and Harry were sitting in his office ahead of the morning briefing. They had come back from Whitehall after their meeting with the new Home Secretary, who she felt was a breath of fresh air, compared to the usual old buffers that they had to deal with. Harry didn't look happy and clearly thought otherwise, but then he had liked Nicolas Blake, so maybe that was the reason. The Op itself seemed pretty straight forward, not ideal in that they had been ordered to share the security detail with the CIA, but given the seriousness of the subject, it wasn't surprising that this was the case. Why a huge and prominent London Hotel had been chosen as the venue, she couldn't fathom, when it would have been so much easier to use Chequers. Their staffing levels were still at an all-time low and given that she and Lucas would be missing for the day, Harry would be left at Thames House with just the bare bones of Jo and Tariq.

She was halfway to his door, when his phone rang and he snatched it from the table and gave her a look that said 'well off you go.' That's not the Home Secretary is it she thought, as she watched him relax and his smile return. Ruth she mused, as she gave him one of her most knowing looks and shut his door.

'Right,' said Harry as they sat round the meeting room table having been joined by Lucas, Jo and Tariq. 'You have all seen the news and presumably understand the ramifications if these talks fail. The hotel is vast with over six hundred rooms, although I'm reliably informed that the majority of those will be empty. Ros and Lucas are going over there now, to discuss the security details with Russell Price, head of CIA European Ops, before the main players arrive after lunch.'

'There's one thing that's niggling me,' said Ros. 'Apart from the fact that it has good road links from the airports, why have they emptied a huge London hotel, when there are so many smaller and more suitable venues?'

'A question for Russell Price when we see him,' suggested Lucas, 'he seems to be running this op.'

Now why would Lucas say that? Harry wondered, as he looked across at Ros. First Ruth and now Ros, with concerns about what was going on, both with good instincts and far less blinkered than he was, when it came to politicians. There were more questions than answers and that unsettled him, what if this was just a smokescreen to something far bigger? He needed a word with Ros before they left and he certainly needed her to keep in touch.

Price was waiting for them in the foyer and showed them a detailed plan of the hotel. He dismissed their concern as to the venue, saying that the lower three floors, including the basement were empty and with no time to look at alternative venues, they had made a snap decision. His team were going to check the top three floors, so he suggested that she and Lucas should check the lower ones. Ros still felt unhappy, the place was a warren and made more confusing because every floor looked alike. Huge stairwells as well as escalators linked the floors, so even with their security presence there was easy access if anyone wanted to disrupt the talks.

'I'll take two and three, I want to keep an eye on Price and his cronies,' she told Lucas, 'you take the basement.'

Harry Jo and Tariq had watched patiently as Ros and Lucas arrived. Once they went inside the hotel there was no means of tracking them other than via the coms, so they were virtually on their own. In addition to the police and the security services, the place seemed to be crawling with press, all eager to take photos as people arrived. Harry wasn't entirely happy with the crowds, but it all appeared to be very congenial with lots of handshakes and smiles. That all changed in a blink of an eye, when Tariq shouted to Harry, that Ros had lost contact with Lucas.

'Ros can you hear me?' Harry said, 'get back outside and waylay the Home Secretary and the Pakistan Prime Minister and get them away from that hotel. You have my full authority to do whatever it takes to get the right outcome, leave Lucas to me.'

Leaving Jo and Tariq as the only core staff on the grid was risky and went against everything that he had promised Ruth and Ros, but he had no choice. 'Anything,' he said to Jo, looking at their two earnest faces, 'call me.'

If, God forbid, Lucas had some sort of alternative agenda, then he needed to find him and to trust Ros to save the talks. As he had battled his way through the huge police and press presence and into the foyer it was eerily quiet, like the calm before a storm. Basement Ros had said, as he headed down the stairs, he would start there. Pushing open the very heavy door he stepped inside, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the light. It was far too dark, he couldn't see a thing.


	13. Chapter 13

'Are you seriously suggesting that you think this is a good idea,' Ros growled at the DG, when he suggested that perhaps Ruth would like to re -join section D, the morning after Harry had barely survived being blown to bits, the length and breadth of London. She had been standing with the Home Secretary and had watched on in horror as the front of the hotel had crumbled when the bomb had gone off. It had taken five of the longest hours that she had ever lived until they had found him, buried deep in the rubble, saved only because of a huge iron girder that had kept back the majority of the debris. Lucas had walked out unscathed only ten minutes before the blast, completely unaware so he had told her, that this was what was about to happen. Having been up for twenty four hours, five of which she had spent at the hospital with Ruth whilst Harry was in theatre, she was at the end of her tether. For weeks they had been short staffed and now more than ever, she needed help. They had a huge investigation getting underway to find the perpetrators of what could have been a whole lot worse, had Harry not told her to get the Home Secretary and the Pakistan Prime Minister out of the building. She had long been of the opinion that Dolby was a fool and was at the point of telling him so, when her phone rang. 'I take it I have your permission to recruit, she snapped at him, 'I'm needed, I have to go.'

Tariq had stayed on the grid all night, fielding an endless number of phone calls and monitoring the footage over and over again, as he tried to piece together what had happened. Jo had been in touch with Malcolm and asked him to collect Nico from school and come up with a plausible story that would placate him until she came round later. 'Whatever happens,' Jo told him, 'don't turn on the news.'

They were all worrying about Harry, but Ros was also deeply concerned about Ruth. It was just over a month since she had watched George die and now this, it was almost too much. She had sat with her at the hospital for the five hours whilst Harry had been in theatre as she refused to move from where they had told her to wait. 'She's his wife and I'm his sister,' Ros said, flashing her ID at some bloody jobsworth on the desk, who had told them that it was next of kin only. In reality, Ruth was numb, stunned beyond anything that she had ever felt, as she stared at the poster on the wall in front of her, that told her how to spot the signs of a potential heart attack. Over and over in her head, she replayed Harry's last words to her, 'we'll talk about it tonight, I promise.' It was two in the morning when he had eventually been wheeled from theatre and Ruth was told that she could go and see him, but no one had prepared her for what she saw when she walked into his private room in ICU. How she managed to walk to the side of his bed she didn't know, as the room spun around her and she felt her legs give way. Machines, tubes and drips of all kinds, surrounded and engulfed Harry, as what she presumed to be his nurse stood by his bed.

'Come on love sit down,' said a distant voice, as the tears rolled down her face and a hand took her arm. 'There's a long way to go, but he's come through the operation and that's the first step.' Someone put a glass of water into her hand as she sank onto a chair, as she wondered if she was going to faint, or worse be sick.

They had been gifted one month which had been as close to perfect as she had ever imagined, and now this. Nico would be at home waiting for her and Harry was here, she was totally and utterly torn in two. Somehow she remembered that Jo had called her and said that she and Malcolm were looking after Nico and that she should stay with Harry, they would cope.

At some stage during the night she must have fallen asleep, because the next thing she heard were voices that she didn't recognise and opened her eyes to be confronted with the same horror that was real and not the dream that she had thought it to be. The sun was streaming through the window and she had no idea as to what time it was, but what must be a doctor was talking quietly with the nurse. There was still the constant beep of machines and monitors, some of which she recognised from her time at the hospital in Cyprus, as Harry lay there, deathly white and very still.

* * *

Malcolm had met Nico from school having first been to Harrys to pick up Scarlet. Nico had readily accepted that he was there because Ruth had gone to see Harry at work, a lie that Malcolm hated telling, but on the spur of the moment he had little else. Nico had told him that he and Ruth always took Scarlet for a walk in the park when he got back from school and Malcolm was more than happy to oblige, if it passed some time whilst they waited for Jo. He was worried sick about Harry and totally out of his depth, it was so deja vu. Jo arrived at six, full of smiles and keeping up the pretence, but Malcolm could see the concern that was equal to his.

'Fish and chips were his favourite,' Nico told them as he helped them lay the table, before this strange little threesome sat down to eat.

For Malcolm and Jo, the evening crawled by as they looked at their watches and checked their phones. By the time that Nico was ready for bed, they had decided that it would be more appropriate if Jo stayed the night, besides which she was already exhausted and needed to get some sleep. There weren't many hours left before she would be needed, for what was going to be a very long day on the grid.

'I'll be back at seven,' Malcolm said, squeezing her hand, 'please god we have some news by then.'

* * *

Totally oblivious to everything that was happening around him, Harry slept on. With drugs to keep him stable as well as to control the pain, he would sleep for at least two days the doctor told Ruth. These first few hours were critical because his injuries were so extensive. Some would take weeks possibly months to heal, but unless there was an unexpected setback, he would eventually be fine.

'You need to go home and see your son,' he told a resistant Ruth, who sat stroking Harry's hand. 'Children are much more resilient than we think, but give it another day before you bring him in, by which time your husband should look a lot better.'

Having been given a copy of the official secrets act to sign, the doctor knew exactly who Harry was, as did the nurse, but never in a million years would they have believed the story that made up the composition of this fractured little family. Ruth was way past caring what anyone thought, it didn't matter any more.

'I'm going home for a little while to see Nico,' she whispered to Harry, kissing his cheek. 'I love you Harry, I'll be back soon.'


	14. Chapter 14

Ros was on a mission, absolutely hell bent to bringing to account, the people who had all but murdered not only her boss but her friend. After her ridiculous meeting with Dolby she had acted quickly, and within a day, Section D was rebuilt and at full strength. Each and every one of their original and now new staff had been advised that tired or not, turning up late on their first day as a new team was not an option. Dimitri Levendis and Callum Reid, both who had worked with them the first time that Harry had been away had been recruited, Dimitri because Ros was looking for new blood with fresh ideas and Callum, although she thought him arrogant, had proved himself to be a good analyst. It would be days, maybe weeks before their forensic team would have completed the investigation at the hotel, but as far as everything else was concerned, speed was of the essence.

'Meeting room now,' she barked at them, as they stood huddled round their desks with their first cups of coffee. 'Right,' she said, to gain their full attention. 'I am aware that this is personal and I know that you are all very angry, but we put aside the fact that Harry is currently fighting for his life and we stay focussed.' This was followed by a general shuffling in their chairs and an unspoken nod of agreement. 'Tariq and Callum, I want you to look again at the CCTV. Piece together every bit of footage from outside the hotel and catalogue anything and anyone that you can or can't identify. Jo, talk to people, listen to the chatter and get onto GCHQ. Dimitri and Lucas, you're with me.'

The Home Secretary had already called her and offered his full support. He was enraged that Harry had seemingly been targeted and had asked that she keep him fully updated as to how he was and when he would be well enough to receive visitors.

'Lucas, we'll go in your car,' she said, as they headed down to the car park. She still didn't trust him and she wanted to keep him close, but for now, she intended keeping that idea to herself. It was the first time since the explosion that she had been back to the hotel and it surprised her how peaceful the scene now looked. It was still ringed by police and there wasn't a cat in hells chance that anyone other than those with recognised ID could cross the tapes. The few press that were lingering had been corralled together about fifty metres away, but that didn't stop the questions, as Ros and her colleagues filed past.

'I want your eyes everywhere,' she told them, 'and tell me what you see.'

Malcolm arrived back at Harry's just as Jo was about to leave. Ros had called him to say that they had managed to contact Catherine and that she would be arriving later that day. She came with the same _handle with care_ warning as her father, but as Malcolm had known her for years, Ros had apparently decided that he was best qualified to give her the news that her father had recently acquired a new family. Despite his protests that he hadn't seen Catherine since she was about ten, Ros was adamant and he knew better than to argue.

* * *

The walk from Harry's room to the exit of the hospital was a long one and with every step, Ruth found herself battling, not to turn back. It had been twenty four hours since she had last seen Nico and she knew he would be missing her, but as soon as she closed Harry's door, the tears had come. She drove carefully, barely functioning as she tried to fight the exhaustion that was overwhelming her. Hurrying along the road from where she had parked, she was relieved to see Malcolm's car still outside. Her plan was to spend a short while with Nico before Malcolm took him to school and then go back to Harry. The moment that Nico heard the door, he raced down the stairs and flung himself against her. She didn't even get a chance to take off her coat or say anything, before he looked up at her and with questioning eyes and asked her the one question that she didn't know how to answer. 'Where's Harry?' She fished in her handbag for her phone and asked Malcolm to ring the school. 'Make an excuse,' she said, 'he can't go in today.'

'I'll be five minutes,' she told Nico, 'you show Malcolm how I like my tea and I'll be right back.'

She dragged herself upstairs and into the shower, trying to compose herself and decide what to tell him. Walking into the bedroom to get changed only made it worse, as everything around her screamed of Harry. Fighting the urge to throw herself on the bed and bury her head in his pillow, she pulled on clean clothes and headed down the stairs where Nico stood waiting for her. With her freshly made cup of tea in one hand and Nico's hand in the other, she followed Malcolm into the sitting room and sat down. No more lies she told herself, this time she had to tell him the truth, albeit watered down. Doing her best to reassure rather than scare him, she took a deep breath and attempted to smile.

'Harry's poorly and he's in hospital,' she said, 'so he needs you to look after Scarlet, can you do that for him?'

She was totally unprepared for his response and for the look of sheer desolation on his face.

'Is he going to go to heaven, like Daddy?' He asked her, in such a quiet voice that she could barely hear him. It was the first time that he had mentioned his father and she just didn't know what to say. Please god I'm right she thought as she pulled him close to her, answering as much for herself as for him. 'No sweetheart,' she said, 'Harry's going to be fine.'

Malcolm stood up and left the room. This was far too private a moment for him to stay, he couldn't bear it. He was completely overwhelmed by Ruth's obvious love for this child and his for her as they clung to each other. 'Come on Harry,' he said to himself, 'you heard what Ruth said.'

Coincidence, telepathy, call it what you like, but in his hospital bed, Harry was dreaming about Ruth and about Nico. It was a beautiful sunny day and they were on a beach together. Ruth and Nico were running ahead of him, splashing him with water and Nico was squealing with laughter. His legs hurt and he couldn't keep up, but Ruth had stopped and come back for him and was holding his hand. 'You're kissing her,' Nico said giggling, and ran away from them. Somewhere in the distance he could hear Scarlet barking and he could see Nico kicking a ball, and then Ruth's hands were round his neck and Nico was right, he was kissing her.

'Doctor Robert's,' called Harry's nurse, 'he's starting to respond, his eyelids are flickering.'

'Increase the obs,' he told her, 'this is much sooner than we expected, but it could well be, that by the time his wife comes back tonight, he'll be awake.'

Ruth, Nico and Malcolm had had a very quiet day. For a good deal of the time, Ruth had slept with Nico cuddled in beside her. Malcolm had done some shopping and made them some lunch but by early evening, Ruth was desperate to get back to the hospital. Promising Nico that she would ring him before he went to bed, she closed the front door and waved to him, as he Malcolm and Scarlet crossed the road and walked into the park. Taking a huge breath, she climbed into her car and turned on the ignition.


	15. Chapter 15

Catherine was worried, tired and not in the best of moods when she arrived in London. The journey from Scotland where she was currently living had been tedious to say the least. She had just arrived at work when someone who she assumed to be one of her dad's _spook pals_ had called and told her that he had been involved in an accident. It had been like getting blood out of a stone to get them to elaborate, so she had no idea as to how bad it was. There was no point in calling her mother, as that always resulted in a tirade of abuse as soon as she mentioned her father. Graham who lived in London was her best bet, but then this would be likely to send him off on another bender and besides which he rarely answered his phone. Having told her boss that there was a family emergency, she checked the train times, rushed home to pack and then got a taxi to the station.

Bearing in mind the job that father did, she was not altogether surprised to have got this call. When she had been little, there had been endless arguments between him and her mother, when he had limped home at all hours, having been beaten or shot or god knows what else they did to spies. She had been much older when he had told her what he did and despite the fact that she hated the world that he lived in, she was proud of him and he had always been her hero. Even though it had been four years since she had last seen him, she knew without a doubt that if she ever needed him, he would move heaven and earth to help her. Well maybe it was her turn to help him now.

So much for the loving and caring daughter, as all reason flew out of the window and with a look worthy of her father, she faced Malcolm down.

'He's got a child,' she yelled, when she had asked him what he was doing there and he told her that he was looking after Nico. 'He's eight!' came out with such a force, that Malcolm rocked back on his heels and grabbed the table.

'Catherine, it's not what you think,' he pleaded with her as he watched her counting backwards on her fingers until the final straw, when she demanded to know which of the endless women that her mother had told her about, he had knocked up.

'How dare you,' he shouted at her, as his heart raced and he struggled to contain his temper, 'sit down.' He had been Harry's friend for years and was horrified, not only by Catherine's insinuation but by the crudeness in what she had said. Despite his reluctance he had to keep her there, so with a hastily made omelette and a bottle of wine between them, he started at the beginning and told her about Ruth. During the whole time he was talking, Catherine never moved, her only question was to ask him why Harry hadn't told her. 'Firstly,' he said, 'I want an apology and as to your question, it's something that you'll have to ask your father. Before that though, there are two people that you need to meet.'

As soon as Ruth arrived at the hospital, she was told that Harry's doctor wanted to talk to her. 'Don't worry,' said the receptionist, 'your husbands doing well.'

'Unless, there's another wife who's going to pop up from somewhere, I have no interest in your relationship with Harry,' said Doctor Roberts smiling at her, when Ruth started to explain. 'My only interest is in Harry's continuing recovery,' he told her, 'and that's where you come in.' In what turned out to be quite a long chat, during which time someone brought Ruth a glass of water, he explained the injuries that Harry had sustained and the long term care that he was now going to need. 'A year from now this will be a far distant memory,' he said, 'but in the short term, it will be a case of patience and willpower, both his and yours, that will determine how quickly he recovers.'

The first problem was that Harry had lost of blood, due to the length of time that it had taken for them to find him. He had been hypothermic and unconscious when he arrived at the hospital and twice during surgery, he had arrested. The girder, had in the main protected his upper body, but both his legs had sustained serious damage which had required a specialist to perform the surgery. Mercifully, there was no nerve damage, but it would be at least a month before he would be able to support himself and an indeterminate amount of time of intensive physio, before he would be able to walk again.

'Given who he is, I'm quite certain that he won't want to stay here long term,' he told a now stunned Ruth, 'so if you can make arrangements to have him at home, then we can provide the transport to take him to and from the hospital. Providing he guarantees to attend all his appointments, we will hopefully be able to release him in about a week.' Giving her a moment, he continued. 'What I do need to know, is do you want to tell him, or do you want me to do it?'

She knew the answer, she just needed to work out how.

As Harry struggled to open his eyes, there was pain and then nothing again. They had elevated the back of his bed a short way just in case he was sick, the nurse told Ruth, as the combination of the very strong pain relief and the anaesthetic, made it likely. Somewhere in the fog that was clearing, he could hear people talking and someone was rubbing his hand. It was Ruth again, but this time she was telling him that he wasn't to worry and that she and Nico were fine and that they loved him. Catherine was coming to see him and everyone at work sent their love.

'Keep talking,' the nurse said again, as Ruth faltered, 'he's coming round.'

Ruth was saying whatever came into her head and in all honesty, she had never felt so frightened and at the same time so hopeful. She had no idea whether or not Catherine had arrived or how she would respond when she found out about her and Nico. She just hoped that she would stay around long enough to visit Harry. Ros had been the only one to get in touch when she had called Malcolm to ask how Harry was, and had ordered her colleagues to leave them alone until there was further news and certainly not to speculate or gossip.

Her eyes were glued to Harry as without warning, all his monitors went into overdrive and he opened his eyes. His heartrate had increased as he had tried to move, unwisely so, because with it came the pain. Very slowly, far too slowly for Ruth, everything settled down again and as his breathing evened out, he tried to smile.

'There you are, he's fine now,' said his ever present nurse, 'I'll be just over there if you need me.'


	16. Chapter 16

Ruth was nothing if not determined. Having kissed a now conscious Harry goodnight and promised that she would be back to see him first thing in the morning, she was driving the ever familiar route home. Trying to weigh up Harry's possible reaction when she told him about the extent of his injuries, she was thinking about Dr Roberts's words, that anger could be positive, if it was channelled properly. She regretted that she had mentioned that Harry was well known for his temper, but a full blown rant and the whole of the hospital would hear it anyway. The other possibilities were that he would give up, or worse still, dream up some ridiculous notion that she would be better off without him. Whatever his reaction she had made up her mind and it was tomorrow that she would tell him. Arriving at the house, she checked her watch and realised that she had missed Nico's bedtime. Never mind, she couldn't be in two places at once and Malcolm would have fed him and made sure he had gone to bed at the usual time. Hauling her weary body out of the car, she walked up the path and opened the door.

'Ruth,' said Catherine, from behind her as she was hanging up her coat. She had completely forgotten that Harry's daughter would be arriving. It was several years since she had last seen Catherine and then it had only been on the screen in the meeting room. None the less, she was unmistakeably Harry's daughter if only by the colour of her eyes.

'Hi,' she answered, as she realised that this was one of the most absurd situations that she had ever found herself in and wondered if it was going to turn into some sort of battle.

'Malcolm had to go home, his mother called, but don't worry Nico's fine,' continued Catherine 'he's asleep.'

Malcolm, Nico, it sounded as though Catherine had been here for hours and where was the animosity that she had expected? Deciding that it wasn't appropriate to tell Catherine that she was shattered and wanted to go to bed, especially when the bed in question was her fathers, she kicked off her shoes and followed her into the kitchen. She had no idea as to what Catherine might or might not know about her and Harry and whether this was just the calm before the storm. Needing to do something in an attempt to gain some sort of control, she brazened it out and headed for the fridge. 'I've been with your dad at the hospital for hours and I haven't eaten,' she told Catherine, 'would you like a sandwich?'

They were saved by the bell in both cases as it so happened, as the door opened and Nico padded in, rubbing his sleep filled eyes. Instinctively, Ruth knelt down as he walked towards her and straight into her arms, almost as though he was sleepwalking. 'Where's Harry and Scarlet?' he mumbled.

Seeing an opportunity to get involved, Catherine joined in. 'If you tell me where the bread is, I'll make you that sandwich,' she said, putting on the kettle. 'You two go through to the other room and I'll bring it through.'

By the time Catherine arrived, Nico were curled up on the sofa and he had gone back to sleep. Ruth had covered him up with a throw, the same one that Harry had hastily pulled over them, that first night on the rug. It felt like a lifetime ago but whatever happened in the future, she had fond memories of that night and the thought of it made her smile.

Catherine could still hear Malcolm's words as she watched Ruth, totally fascinated. She was everything that he had told her and the exact opposite of what her mother had described. She was small and brunette and didn't look a bit like a spook, although Catherine had never really considered what a spook looked like, apart from her father. How could she have been through all those terrible things that Malcolm had described and still love her dad, it was hard to imagine.

For Ruth, it was the outlet that she had always craved as she found herself unburdening all the hurt of the past five years. Quite why she was telling Catherine who was in essence a stranger, she didn't know. Was she trying to justify her relationship with Harry to the only other person that mattered, or was it because for the first time ever, she had the potential of a friend who also cared about him and didn't work for MI5? It was all a bit Freudian but she didn't care. Either way, without going into specific details, she told her about her time in exile and how she had come to have Nico. 'Whatever you say Catherine,' she said to her, 'I will always love your father and that isn't going to change.'

'I have one question,' said Catherine, when Ruth finally stopped talking. 'Why when he has you, did he walk into that hotel, surely he knew that it was dangerous?'

'It's what he does,' she told her, 'he cares deeply about all his staff and at that moment when he thought that Lucas was going to die, instinct would have kicked in and he wouldn't have given it a second thought.'

Tired and silly Ruth's mother used to say to her when she was small and that was how it was now, as she and Catherine carried Nico between them up the stairs. 'It's like musical beds,' she said, as they lay Nico on hers and Harry's bed. She just needed him close tonight. They had found what looked like the last set of single linen and then made the same bed for Catherine that both Jo and Malcolm had slept in for the last few nights, as in the space of a couple of hours, calm had settled. Catherine would bring Nico to the hospital at about midday, by which time she would have talked to Harry. 'He'll be fine,' was all that she had told her when she had asked, it's just going to take a bit of time.'

Harry had woken up feeling a lot more cheerful. He was sure that he wasn't going home anytime soon, but his nurse had told him that he shouldn't be worried and that his wife was coming in to see him first thing. Praying to god that she didn't mean Jane and that by some means Ruth had persuaded her that they were married, his face dropped a mile, when the door opened and the Home Secretary walked in. He rattled on for what seemed like an eternity, as Harry got more and more twitchy and kept one eye on the clock. He knew that Andrew Lawrence had never met Ruth, but then he had arranged for her passport, so would he make the connection? He was just considering how he should introduce them, when Lawrence stood up and announced he should be going. As he reached the door, not only did the breakfast trolley arrive, pushed by someone with a large badge announcing that she was Doris, but Ruth in full flight, looking every bit as lovely to him as she had the night before.

'Miss Evershed,' said the Home Secretary, holding out his hand to Ruth before turning back to grin at Harry.


	17. Chapter 17

'What do you fancy lovey?' had brought a look close to indecent, as Doris tried to tempt Harry with some breakfast.

'Don't you dare,' Ruth countered, wondering what the hell Doris would do, if Harry actually told her.

Almost from the day that they had met, they had been able to read the others thoughts and it was no different now. Harry was scared, Ruth knew it and this was his coping mechanism.

'Come on then, tell me?' He said, in a voice that belied his fear.

Quietly and holding it together as best she could, she explained what the doctor had told her, adding the one piece of information that she dreaded. There was absolutely no chance that he could return to work, which meant that he would be invalided out of the service. There was no magic cure and just how quickly and how well he recovered was up to him. 'Catherine is coming in with Nico later,' she told him, 'so until then, we have a couple of hours to ourselves.'

Harry was worryingly quiet and Ruth was desperate for a response. 'Talk to me Harry,' she pleaded, as the silence continued. When he finally spoke to her, she didn't know whether to hit him or kiss him, but she did neither, he saw to that. It was their first proper kiss for nearly a week as emotions particularly from Ruth were finally released, and the tears came. Damaged and broken they had always been, but now came a different challenge which in Harry's case was life changing. Ruth was just praying that she would be strong enough to help him.

Now that Harry had been told, the news went around Whitehall and Section D, like the proverbial white tornado. Offers of help flooded in, ensuring that by the end of the week, the house would be ready to enable Harry to come home. It was Ros who had made it happen as she marshalled the troops to work extra hours over the weekend. Catherine with the help of her new best friend, a much happier Nico, manned the kitchen as her dad's house was overrun with colleagues. Instructed by Catherine, Dimitri and Tariq re arranged the rooms, moving furniture at an astonishing speed, as one of Tariq's apparently endless number of uncles, set to work to re model the downstairs bathroom.

The investigation into the bombing was still ongoing as the list of possible suspects, primarily Russell Price, had changed to probable. Lucas who had now been cleared of any blame was running the op with the help of Callum and a few ancillary staff. 'Those responsible will pay,' Ros told Lucas, 'no matter how long it takes.'

'Leave it to me, your job is to look after dad,' said Catherine in a voice filled with authority, when Ruth came home in the evening to discover that their bedroom was now on the ground floor. Nico was the most excited, his latest word being cool which apparently Tariq had taught him. Whether or not it should be applied to Harry, Ruth doubted, as he reeled of the long list of reasons as to why he was looking forward to Harry coming home.

Harry meanwhile, oblivious to the chaos that he had caused was clock watching to the point of obsession. He kept telling himself that he mustn't become needy, but every time that Ruth went home he counted the minutes until she came back. He had been prodded poked and suffered the indignity of daily bed baths and the question as to whether or not he had opened his bowels. His physio had been painful but then he was used to pain, but being wheeled about in a chair was another thing entirely and he hated it. The thing that most frightened him was that he would eventually become a burden, and Ruth would come to her senses and leave him. He knew that he was being irrational, because she had told him off and loved him in equal measure. Long term though, being stuck with someone who she had once describe as _pacing in a good way,_ to being the subject of a sideshow and she might change her mind. One more day, the doctor had said, and then we'll be sending you home.

Ruth had thought of little else, other than how they were going to cope over the next weeks, months and even years. She knew how proud Harry was and she had seen his face when they had told him that he would have to travel home in his now cut off pyjama and his dressing gown. 'I'll be with him,' she told Catherine, 'but it's important that you and Nico are there when we arrive.'

'No one's looking at you sir,' said the young ambulance driver, who had been waiting patiently and was now strapping Harry into the back of the ambulance that was taking him home. 'We'll be doing this at twice a week and you'll soon get used to it.'

Living up to Ruth's expectations, Harry had muttered and moaned about the indignity of having to travel home in an ambulance, usually reserved for taking wheelchair bound geriatrics to and from their appointments. Ruth by now was tired, stressed and on what for her was a happy day, Harry still seemed hell bent on behaving unreasonably. He had, thank goodness, been very gracious with Dr Roberts and the nursing staff but as soon as poor Phil, as he had introduced himself had arrived, the sun had gone in on Harry's world and it was back to square one.

'Will you give us a moment Phil?' asked Ruth, trying her best to smile as she turned back to Harry.

'Harry, look at me.' she said. Taking each of his hands in her own, she leant forward until she was inches from him. 'I know how difficult this is, but it isn't just about you, so you have to find a way to deal with it. There's one very small boy, who is more excited than you could ever imagine that you are coming home and Catherine has worked her socks off these past few days to get the house ready for you. It was one of those precious moments that had been more common in the early days of their relationship, as they gazed into each other's eyes. It was highly charged and they both felt it, to the point of needing to take a breath. In the end, it was Harry that broke the silence and nodded. 'Well, in that case, we'd better get going.'

Nico had been phenomenal and Ruth was so proud of him. He had spent the best part of a week without seeing her and he had taken to Catherine as though he had known her for ever. As soon as Harry was comfortably settled, he had snuggled in next to him and proceeded to tell him a very convoluted tale about the last few days. He had obviously listened to what Catherine had told him, that he mustn't get too excited or get near Harry's legs, but not only that, he was a distraction and she could see Harry starting to relax.

It was Catherine who had the anxious face as Harry looked round what had once been his dining room and was now a bedroom. He didn't say anything, but he was mightily relieved. He had imagined that he would be sleeping in some god awful hospital bed and that Ruth would be upstairs. Not so it seemed and it was only nine hours until Ruth's bedtime.


	18. Chapter 18

The next four weeks passed very quickly, for Ruth if not for Harry. The private nurse called June, who she and Harry had chosen together was bright and cheerful and as it turned out, was an absolute gem. She took a huge burden off Ruth, who with the best will in the world wasn't strong enough to move Harry and within a couple of days of her morning and evening visits, Harry had adapted well. It was the consistency that he liked and he felt a lot less embarrassed, now that he was in the privacy of his own home. Ruth felt quite comfortable to leave her in the house, so they arranged that her visits should coincide with her taking Nico to and from school.

Catherine had gone home and back to work, promising to come and visit them again before Christmas, which by now was just three months away. In the few days before she had left, Ruth made sure that she spent as much time as possible with her father, whilst she set about establishing a routine that would make life as easy as possible, not only for her and Harry, but of course for Nico. They had moved the TV and what felt like a mountain of Harry's favourite music and books in the hope that he would feel less isolated, and whenever possible, Ruth made sure that they ate together.

* * *

Sadly though it was not all plain sailing and it was inevitable that at some stage there would be a stumbling block. No amount of cajoling from either Ruth or June could stem the tide of Harry's impatience as slowly but surely it began to affect his confidence. His physio sessions were torturous, but it wasn't the pain that bothered him, he was used to that. It was what he considered to be a lack of progress and he began to fear the worst. His ability or not to continue to have a physical relationship with Ruth had been worrying him since the accident and even more so now that he was at home and they were sharing a bed. Every night when she moved close to him, he felt the beginnings of an erection, but with no mobility that would allow him to even hold her, let alone make love to her, he began to feel totally inadequate and far less a man than he used to be. Ridiculous though it was, he had started to believe that it would always be like this, so their contact had become restricted to hand holding and meaningful kisses, but in the main he had left her alone.

Ruth was desperate and at a loss as to what to do. She was supposed to be the stubborn one, or so Harry always said, but not this time. It was at breakfast one morning after another night of real frustration, that for her had nothing to do with the physical side of their relationship, but more to do with Harry's blunt refusal to talk, that she lied to him and told him that she had bumped into Malcolm.

'I thought I might take Nico out for a pizza this evening,' she said, 'Malcolm's coming round.'

In reality, she had called Malcolm and pleaded with him to come and talk to Harry. She explained that Harry couldn't seem to accept that it would take time for their lives to get back to normal and that he was beginning to shut down. Malcolm had protested at first, but he knew full well that Ruth had no one else to turn to, so telling himself that it was a mission of mercy, he agreed to be there at six.

* * *

They had eaten the meal that Ruth had left for them and were discussing the upcoming Winter Cricket Tour to Australia, when Malcolm changed the subject completely and asked Harry about his intensions towards Ruth.

'You're not my boss now Harry,' said Malcolm, with a lot more bravado than he felt, when Harry told him it was none of his business. 'For god's sake man, do you honestly expect me to believe that Ruth will stop loving you, because you won't be able to walk as fast as you used to.'

'It's not just that though, is it?' Harry responded, as Malcolm got the message and turned pink, 'my bloody knees are shot.'

Realising what Ruth had meant, by Harry not accepting that it would take time for life to get back to normal, he now found himself out of his depth. Wishing that he hadn't started this conversation and not having had any personal experience or the courage to tell Harry to improvise, he shut up.

'I will say this though,' he said, breaking the icy silence that had filled the room. 'This is Ruth we're talking about, and as far as I remember, _in sickness and in health,_ comes into it somewhere, so talk to her.

'But we're not,' was as far as Harry got, before Malcolm interrupted him again, 'well then, perhaps you should be.'

Any further discussion was interrupted, by the door being opened and Nico racing in. He was thrilled to see that Malcolm was still there and immediately badgered him about going out for a walk with Scarlet.

'I've got a better idea,' said Malcolm, looking between Harry and Ruth, 'why don't I pick you up tomorrow morning, and we'll go to the zoo for the day?'

* * *

Unusually for late September, the weather was really warm, so much so, that when Harry had been _sorted out_ by June as he called it, she had opened the French widows overlooking the garden, leaving Ruth to make their breakfast. Malcolm had collected Nico, telling them that they wouldn't be back before four and to enjoy their day. Scarlet and the cats were stretched out on the lawn and with the high wall that surrounded the garden, they had privacy to die for and you could hear a pin drop. There were two minds with but a single thought, or in this case the same outcome. Ruth saw it as a sort this out once and for all opportunity, whereas Harry was worrying that it was make or break. Breakfast over and the plates and cups now back in the kitchen, they were lying in their dressing gowns on top of their bed.

Hoping against hope that he wouldn't tell her to stop or that she wasn't hurting him, Ruth put her hand gently on Harry's thigh. Moving her fingers in small gentle circles, she worked her way beneath the folds of his dressing gown and towards his groin. His erection was instantaneous and as he closed his eyes and his breathing increased, she took him in her hand. Stretching up to kiss him, she gently increased the pace, in what for her was a true declaration of love as he spilled over. She lay there watching his chest rise and fall, praying that he had understood what she had been trying to tell him.

'Don't you dare say you're sorry,' she told him, when he finally opened his eyes and started to apologise.

The one thing that thing Harry could do, and did very well as far as Ruth was concerned was to kiss her. She reached for her favourite throw and covered the two of them and then settled in beside him, with her lips tantalisingly inches from his. 'So?', she asked him as he smiled at her, when they finally pulled apart.

'We're back,' shouted Nico, the minute he got home, always eager to go in and tell Harry what he had being doing. This time though he was out of luck. Harry was still asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

With less than a month until Catherine was due to come home for Christmas and in an effort to change what was now becoming _the same old,_ they had invited both Malcolm and Jo to lunch. The remarkable change in such a short space of time, not only in Harry's state of mind but also in his positive attitude towards his physio, had seen an improvement in his mobility, that only a few weeks ago had seemed impossible.

His financial settlement from MI5 was also in place which was a huge relief, as in what according to Harry had been a pleasant couple of hours, when the Home Secretary had called in person to tell him. Ruth had left them to it and taken the opportunity to make a quick dash to the supermarket, very surprised when she got back an hour later, that they were still deep in conversation. Andrew, as Harry was now calling him, had assured him that they would have his ongoing support and that whatever they needed, they only had to ask. On the back of that news and their now assured financial security, they had briefly talked about the future. With Harry no longer needing or for that matter wanting to live in London, he had spent a lot of time on his computer, looking at properties further afield. 'Somewhere quiet, this is our time,' Ruth had said and he certainly wasn't going to argue with that. They had enjoyed their time in Norfolk, so that was always a possibility, but there was the whole of the UK out there to consider and they were in no rush to make a decision. Nico's happiness and welfare were paramount in all their discussions and his schooling had to be taken into consideration. Continuing where he was now, he would remain isolated and they had decided that if could get him into a less exclusive school, it would not only help to broaden his education, but give him the chance to make friends that he could actually bring home.

Before all that though, there was the not so small matter of the goal that Harry had set himself, and Nico's first Christmas in London.

* * *

Ruth who really didn't enjoy cooking, had abandoned the idea of a Sunday Roast. Feeding what for her amounted to an army, she had gone for an easier option and made a huge beef casserole with dumplings and a sherry trifle. They were half way through the first course when the doorbell rang. It was very unusual for them to have visitors and certainly no one that hadn't been invited, so heading to the door expecting to tell whoever it was to go away, she was totally astounded to find Catherine. Apologising that she had left Scotland in a hurry and hadn't had time to let them know, she explained that she was in London on a last minute assignment, and was it alright if she stayed with them for an extra couple of weeks. The more the merrier thought Ruth, wondering if the lunch would stretch to an extra portion, whilst telling her that Malcolm and Jo were already here.

Nico was having a great time. Not only were Malcolm and Jo here and making a fuss of him, but Catherine had arrived as well. Harry was also enjoying the company Ruth could see that, as she watched him in an animated conversation with his daughter. It had been so rare in the last couple of months that she had seen him happy or even smile and she realised that if she didn't leave the room soon, she was probably going to cry. It was at that moment, that Harry caught her eye and read the emotion on her face. Unable to look away from him, she watched as he beckoned to her and then patted the seat beside him. She was powerless to refuse him, she always had been, so weaving her way between the others, she sat down beside him.

In what up to now had been totally uncharacteristic for Harry, certainly in a room full of people, he put his arm round her shoulders and pulled her close. Bending his head towards her, he whispered in her ear that he loved her. It didn't go unnoticed and certainly not unheard, by the ever watchful Catherine who was sitting the nearest to them.

'You did the cooking,' she said grinning, as she watched Ruth make a move to get up. 'Jo and I will do the washing up, won't we?' she added, turning to Jo.'

'Nico, how about you and I have a game of something,' said Malcolm, as he watched a now blushing Ruth. He certainly didn't want to be the only one left in the room with Ruth and Harry, so with Nico in his wake, he headed for the sideboard, in the search of anything that looked like a board game. Backgammon he thought. Nico's version.

Catherine and Jo were getting on like a house on fire, especially when they discovered that they had a lot in common, including journalism. Catherine had told her all about her new job which would keep her in London until the new year and that how she had been dreading a Winter in Scotland. Jo had been good and stuck to her legend, but it was difficult to ignore Catherine's questions.

'Malcolm's told me bits,' said the ever curious Catherine, 'so how come you know Ruth and my Dad?'

'Sorry,' said Jo, finally caving in, 'I really can't tell you that, other than to say I've known them a long time.'

Harry left alone with Ruth, was teasing her, saying that if he known it was that easy to clear a room, he'd have kissed her years ago, when they'd been on the grid.

By the time that Malcolm and Jo left, it was way past Nico's bedtime and after her long journey, Catherine was tired and was ready for bed. She was glad to be home and so pleased to see her Dad looking so much more cheerful. Ruth was good for him, she could see that and she had almost a month to badger him with more questions.

* * *

Since the night when Ruth had literally taken matters into her own hands, they had found a way so that Harry could reciprocate and their relationship could become physical again. A balancing act was the best way to describe it and neither of them was happy that it had to be contrived and couldn't be spontaneous. However, rather than let it became a problem, they had resolved to talk about it and as a result, their love and trust in each other had deepened. Harry had regained some movement in his hips, so that if he used the considerable strength he had in his arms, combined with a lot of help from Ruth, he could roll over onto his side. Using all his skills, with what Ruth had always known to be his magical hands, he could build her up and up before sending her on a journey into oblivion. For him it was far from ideal, because he always got an erection and not only that, it was impossible for him to kiss her at the same time, because to do that, he had to be lying down. Bringing Ruth to climax as many times as he could, before his energy deserted him or he lost his balance became his challenge, because at times like this he could make it all about her and not about him.

'Let's hope Catherine's deaf,' said Ruth as she tried to regain her breath, after Harry had rolled away from her and she finally managed to open her eyes. He was wonderful when it came to sex, he always had been, but this strange situation had made him so much more attentive and she was revelling in it. Failing dismally to keep quiet, she had literally screamed when his fingers had sunk into her for the third time and with Catherine now sleeping one floor above them, in typical Ruth fashion, she was worried.

Harry was lying on his back with the woman he loved, spent and lying in his arms. He wasn't worried, he was happy and more determined than ever, that whatever it took, he would get mobile again.


	20. Chapter 20

Harry and Catherine were making up for lost time, recalling the Christmases when she had been a small child. Trees, decorations, crackers and the year that she and Graham had built a snowman and dressed it in Harry's clothes, were among the things that were now firmly in Nico's mind _and_ on his wish list. Ruth was trying her best to enter into the spirit of things, but she was tired. She was used to looking after Harry, but with Nico on holiday, the extra shopping and everything else that she needed to do in the run up to the big day, the thought of going out to choose a tree and then decorating it, was almost a step to far. So far though she managed to hide it, as the last thing she wanted to do, was to spoil their fun. Added to which, she still couldn't quite believe, that she and Harry would be spending their first real Christmas together.

They weren't as clueless as she thought, and with a week to go, Catherine came to her rescue.

'I'll take him, we'll have a great time,' she offered, when Nico asked yet again, when they would be able to go and see the Christmas lights. 'Besides which, we have shopping to do and if we're out of your way, you two can have can have a nice quiet evening.'

* * *

Ruth was always anxious when Nico went anywhere without her, but she trusted Catherine more than she trusted anyone apart from Harry, and the thought of a whole evening on their own, really did sound like bliss. Having ordered a takeaway to save her cooking, she stood at the door and waved them goodbye. Even before they had reached the gate, Nico was skipping from one foot to the other and holding Catherine's hand. Not too many sweets had been her only instruction.

Harry had given Catherine enough money for them to get a taxi, into and back from central London. He had no doubt that she would look after Nico, but at this time of year, the transport system was a nightmare and in the dark and with the hustle and bustle of party goers and shoppers, it would only take a second for her to lose sight of him. The first thing that Catherine wanted to do was to take Nico to see the tree in Trafalgar Square. It was one of the things, that for her Dad epitomized Christmas and when she and Graham had been small, it had been a tradition that they come and see it. Had he been able to, she was certain that he would have brought Nico, especially as this was his first Christmas, so in a way she was doing this for him. Heading away from there, they made their way along Oxford Street to see the lights and in search of something to eat. She had been worried that Nico would be overwhelmed by the noise and the crowds, but he seemed to be lapping it up and absolutely fascinated by everything around him. She hadn't eaten since lunchtime and she was hungry, so the next thing they needed to do, was to find somewhere to eat. Having ordered their meal, in as quiet a corner as she could find in a busy burger bar, she looked across at Nico. She had reached thirty, with no thought of having a child of her own and yet here she was with an eight year old that she really cared about, but with whom she had nothing in common, other than Ruth and her Dad. She had spent the best part of her teenage years, griping about her parents and her rubbish childhood, yet compared to Nico she'd had everything. It was a sobering thought.

* * *

The take away was a really good idea, as for the first time in weeks they shared an evening meal alone. Harry insisted on opening a bottle of wine, despite the fact that the painkillers he was still taking, suggested otherwise. Ruth was exhausted, he could see that, but there were things that he wanted to discuss with her and he hoped that after a few glasses, they would both start to relax. He certainly didn't want to spend his evening sitting in the kitchen in his chair, so he was propped up on the bed and Ruth was sitting at the small table beside him.

'Indulge me,' he said,' when they had finished eating, 'I want to talk about Christmas.'

Please no, thought Ruth, there has to be something else we can talk about, or better still let's just go to sleep. Harry looked serious though and a wee bit pensive, so she leant forward and held his gaze.

'I have everything that I have ever wanted,' he said, taking her hand, 'apart from two things.'

Now, he had her attention.

'I want a Christmas tree,' he said, pausing and watching her reaction as she nodded, 'and I want you to marry me.'

She was stunned, her heart hammering so hard that she felt sure he could hear it. Whatever she had been expecting him to say, it wasn't this. She had hoped and dreamed that at some time in the future he might ask her, but that he had asked her tonight, had come as a complete surprise. Harry of course, thought she was wavering or worse still was going to say no and every second without an answer felt like an hour. He couldn't move which made it worse, until what in reality was less than half a minute, she got up and sat beside him.

'Well,' she said, kissing him thoroughly, 'we'd better go shopping.'

They could hardly go to bed, not in the biblical sense anyway, with Catherine and Nico due to arrive back and sure to be full of news. So they settled for a good snog, which in the circumstances was the next best thing, although that didn't turn out to be a good idea either, as they rapidly reached the point of no return.

'Tea,' suggested Ruth, pulling down her top as they broke apart and Harry adjusted his dressing gown. Timing was everything and in this case, they got it right, as a bright eyed and excited Nico, bundled through the door carrying his parcels.

'It's a secret, he said, turning to Catherine, when Ruth asked him what he was carrying.

'Well in that case, it's time you went to bed,' countered Ruth, 'who do you want to come up with you?'

'Catherine of course,' said Nico, 'we have to hide some things.'

Harry sat watching, enjoying every minute of this conversation. Nico looked so earnest and clearly thought that his secret stash of whatever he and Catherine had been buying, was still a secret. Well he had one too, but he was damned if he was going to share it with anyone except Ruth, certainly not until after they had chosen a ring.

With the younger members of the household now upstairs, Ruth checked the doors and turned off the lights. All the barriers were now down with the exception of one, she had to tell Nico. She and Harry were going to get married and the fact that it should have happened years ago, didn't matter anymore, she had no regrets. She loved him and providing that he hadn't fallen asleep, she was going to show him just how much. Besides which, she didn't feel tired any more.

There wasn't a cat in hells chance that Harry was asleep, it was two minds with but a single thought and if Ruth agreed, then tonight was going to be the night.


	21. Chapter 21

Earlier that day.

Twelve hours prior to his proposal, Harry had been to see Doctor Roberts for his monthly chat and for his last physio session until the start of the New Year. He knew that he was doing well and moving more freely, in fact the young physiotherapist had been using expressions such as push yourself more, go on and well done for some time now. He had battled through the pain and had done everything that they asked of him, his first objective was to be standing up at Christmas so that he could hold Ruth in his arms. He was angry that he had wasted so much time and that it had taken something of this magnitude, to make him realise what really mattered in his life. The plus side being, that it helped to drive him on.

'You're doing so much better than you imagine Harry,' said his ever cheery doctor, 'but there is something that I need to discuss with you, which I hope you'll feel able to answer.'

Despite the fact that he was assured that the questions were asked of all patients who had sustained lower body injuries such as his, discussing his sexual capabilities, not only now but before his accident, wasn't something that he was prepared to talk about. What he and Ruth did or didn't do in the bedroom or anywhere else for that matter was private and it felt like a huge invasion of their privacy.

'This is very important Harry,' said the doctor, 'so I'll try and make it easier for you.' He then went into a yes/no session of questions which Harry had to answer with no more than a nod, or a couple of words. Question one was 'did he and Ruth have a healthy physical relationship before his accident and was it enjoyable,' rated yes and yes very much, but Harry stuck to yes, followed by 'did they have one now and was it the same or more difficult or complicated,' left Harry without an answer, or certainly not one that he was prepared to give.

The ever patient Doctor Roberts, had over the years been required to have this conversation with hundreds of patients, most of whom had been just as understandably tongue tied as Harry. He went on the explain, that if as he expected, Harry and quite probably Ruth were concerned that having conjoined sex might cause him further injury, it was in fact quite the opposite.

'Trust me,' he told a now smiling Harry, 'An injection of sexual activity, on a not too frequent basis, might well result in a sooner rather than later response in your legs.'

Bedtime.

Having locked the doors, Ruth had been into the kitchen to let Scarlet out for the final time before going upstairs to say goodnight to Catherine and to make sure that Nico was in bed. Since Catherine had been staying, they had created their own little domain up there which Catherine kept pretty tidy, so in the main Ruth had left them to it. Nico had really taken to Catherine and she seemed to thrive on the responsibility of keeping an eye on him, but there was always the chance that he would talk her into letting him stay up late, which was fine every once in a while, but not every day. Catherine was asleep as was Nico, with what appeared to be a new book of children's Christmas stories lying on his bedside table. He loved to read and it was probably something that Catherine had bought him during their evening out, which was a sweet thought, which Ruth appreciated.

She wasn't tired at all in fact she felt ridiculously excited, her head still swimming with the memory of Harry's unexpected proposal. It was laughable really and so like him to have blurted it out after his request for a Christmas tree, but it was the way they were, they had never done flowery either of them. What she now wanted, was for them to go out on their own for a celebratory meal. It didn't matter where and it certainly didn't have to be fancy, but it would be so lovely to spend an evening together away from the house without the thought of being interrupted all the time. If Catherine was busy, then she felt sure that either Malcolm or maybe Jo would look after Nico, she just had to decide where and more importantly when.

Harry was wide awake and had wriggled himself under the covers, impatiently waiting for Ruth to come to bed. He had planned to make his proposal a romantic one but had somehow managed to make it sound like something on a shopping list. Idiot, he thought. Never mind, it was original if nothing else and Ruth had said yes. The thought of planning a whole new life together was uppermost in his mind, well that and his discussion with his doctor.

'Hi,' she said, in that gentle way of hers, that made his heart melt and his body respond in a way that gave him an uncontrollable urge to touch her. She was lovely, she took his breath away and on this oh so special night, she had agreed to be his wife. He was at war with himself, part of him just wanting to tell her he loved her and to gaze at her until they fell asleep and the other side of him wanting to make her his, for as long as he could. In the end Ruth made the decision for him, when he told her what the doctor had said. With all the gentleness in the world she straddled him, supporting herself with her hands and knees so that she wouldn't crush him. All the shyness that they had once shared was gone, his accident had seen to that and they had built an understanding that was special and all of their own. As she leant forward to kiss him, her breasts glided enticingly across his chest as for the first time in what felt like an age, he was able to touch every part of her. As their kissed deepened and Ruth relaxed, his hands which had been on her shoulders moved slowly downwards until he was holding her breasts. God he thought, how he had missed this. He could feel her responding to him as he feathered his fingers around her nipples and then slowly downwards until her reached the warmth between her legs. By now, his mind was crying out with the need of her as she slowly lowered herself on top of him and set up a rhythm that suited them both. Neither of them could make it last but that didn't matter and any pain that he may have felt, was obliterated the moment that he shuddered inside her.

'We know that there's no miracle cure, it's just a case of time,' he said, 'but if this is good for me and part of my therapy, then it's certainly the most enjoyable that they've come up with so far,' he kidded her, kissing her again.

Harry was more than happy that they go out for an evening and if possible in the next couple of days, before the rush of last minute shoppers on Christmas Eve.

Catherine would be happy for them, Harry felt sure about that, but they needed to keep their news to themselves, until Ruth had spoken to Nico.


	22. Chapter 22

As soon as Harry had said yes to their evening out, Ruth had called Jo. In addition to asking her to look after Nico, she needed to tell her that she had bought the Christmas tree that Harry so wanted and that she was going to arrange that it be delivered during that evening. Ruth and Catherine had formed what amounted to a friendship which was a difficult thing to do when you worked for MI5 and although Catherine wouldn't be home from work until quite late it, Ruth saw it as an opportunity for them to spend some time together. For all her bravado, Catherine seemed to be a loner a lot like her dad and that concerned Ruth.

'Have a great time, we'll be fine,' said Jo, as she and Nico stood on the doorstep to see them off. Harry had booked their taxi with the same driver that he had known for years, who Ruth hadn't met but according to Harry had known exactly what he had done for a living. He seemed to have branched out and now ran several cabs and probably a lot more besides thought Ruth, as she heard him tell Harry that he was pleased to see that he had a lady in his life, tapping the side of his nose as though they were mates.

* * *

Despite the fact that it was close to Christmas, the restaurant that Ruth had chosen wasn't over-crowded and their corner table gave them intimacy away from the rest of the diners. They had dressed casually which was so much more comfortable for Harry, although Ruth had made a special effort with her hair and worn what he always described as his favourite dress. It had been difficult to keep their news to themselves but tonight they didn't have to pretend, as the waiter delivered their drinks and Harry asked him to give them a few minutes before they ordered their meal.

'Ruth,' he said, surprising her by taking her hand, causing her look up to see his eyes full of emotion. 'I'm sorry about the way I proposed to you, it was awful I know that, so I want to ask you again.' As far as Ruth was concerned, there was absolutely no need for him to ask her again, in fact if he hadn't asked her, she would have almost certainly asked him. She knew better than to stop him, she could almost imagine him practising, so she just nodded and squeezed his hand. 'I can't imagine one single reason why you love me, but I know you do,' he said, 'and if I tell you all the reasons why I love you, then we'll be here all night and I'm hungry, so I'd better get on with it. I love you Ruth Evershed and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so if you haven't changed your mind, will you marry me?' It was so Harry, well them really, blundering through anything and everything when it came to expressing their feelings. This though was important and a moment that they would both remember for the rest of their lives, so throwing caution to the wind and with what was a most un-Ruth like gesture and certainly in public, she got up from her seat and walked round the table and kissed him. Their waiter, who had been watching from a distance, had nipped back into the kitchen to talk to the boss. They had a restaurant policy when it came to proposals and if his instinct was correct and it usually was, then he had just seen one. It wasn't the usual type all flowers and a flashy ring, they were older these two and to him it looked more special.

They decided to skip the starters and go straight to the main course. Harry predictably ordered steak and all the trimmings, it was ages since he had eaten chips and he was ravenous. Ruth couldn't make her mind up but eventually decided on the fish, knowing that Harry would probably want a pudding as well, she didn't want to leave him eating alone. They were half way through their main course, when her phone rang.

'It's Jo,' she told Harry, praying that there wasn't a problem and they had to go home.

Jo was ringing her to say that the men delivering the tree had called to say that their van had broken down and that they couldn't deliver it, so she had rung Tariq and someone called Dimitri who Ruth didn't know, and was it OK if they stayed until they got back, because they wanted to say hello to Harry.

'Great,' said Ruth, imagining their house full of spies and an overactive Nico, who certainly wouldn't be in bed.

'It's just Jo, telling us that everything's fine,' she said, to a now questioning Harry.

The food was good and after a second bottle of wine, which in Harry's case was mixed with his pills, he had relaxed. A now amorous Harry, was in full flow about the wedding, the honeymoon and about selling the house, in a not too dissimilar mood to the night when he had talked about his planned Grand Tour. This time though, he was doing his best to convince Ruth that she was game for anything and that age didn't matter. It had been months since he had be able to make her smile like this, he was happy.

'We'll have to make a move soon,' she said reluctantly, as she looked at her watch and saw that their taxi would be there in ten minutes. They had promised Jo that they would be back by 10.30 and they were already cutting it fine.

* * *

'Remember, it's a surprise for Harry,' Jo reminded Nico, as they heard the taxi pull up and then the key in the front door. Tariq and Dimitri, who Jo had noticed had been unashamedly chatting up Catherine, had moved the furniture yet again to accommodate the tree. It was huge, but Jo's standards anyway and would take an awful lot of decorating, but Catherine had told her that Christmas and especially a tree had played a large part in her Dad's life and that she was pleased that Ruth wanted to continue with the tradition. In fact, as she and Catherine had got closer, she had felt more comfortable to talk about Ruth and Harry and about the years since she had first known them. Made for each other was how she had described them, and now more than ever, she knew that she was right.

Nico knew that he mustn't mention the tree, but no one had told him that he couldn't say that Tariq and Dimitri were there, as he bundled into the hall and spilt the beans.

'Tariq's my friend,' he told them, 'he's teaching me lots of tricks.'

Oh dear god thought Ruth, remembering the chaos that Malcolm and Colin used to create.

They had had virtually no visitors since Harry's accident and Ruth had been worrying that he wouldn't want to be seen sitting in a wheelchair, in what amounted to a roomful of his staff. As she opened the door and he wheeled himself in, she was astounded as both Tariq and Dimitri immediately stood up and walked over to shake Harry's hand. If Harry did feel any emotion he hid it beautifully until the moment that he turned to face Catherine who was sitting by the tree. In the heat of the moment, Ruth had completely forgotten it and to her horror she could see Harry starting to struggle. In a demonstration of togetherness and for the second time that evening, she walked round in front of Harry and took his hands in her own. Catherine who had been facing her Dad had also seen the look on his face and more than any of the others, she knew the reason why.

'Right everyone,' she said getting up, 'let's get this room tidied up and I'll put the kettle on.'

Despite Ruth's concerns, they all knew immediately that something was wrong, as responding to Catherine, they picked up the various plates, cups and glasses and headed towards the kitchen.

'Come and see us again soon,' Catherine told them, grinning at Dimitri as he Tariq and Jo headed through the door, calling their goodnights. 'I'm here for at least another week.'

The washing up could wait and she needed to get Nico to bed, but more importantly, her Dad and Ruth needed to be on their own.


	23. Chapter 23

Harry had been lying in bed for just over ten minutes, when he realised that he was going to be sick. He was on his back and without Ruth's help he knew that he had no chance of rolling over onto his side. In response to his call for help, Ruth raced from the bathroom where she had been cleaning her teeth, shouting for Catherine who leapt out of bed and headed down the stairs. Between them, they managed to haul him up and turn him round so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed, but he looked a dreadful colour and it was obvious what was coming. Catherine, who was a lot stronger than Ruth and all together more squeamish, had crawled round behind him to give his back some support whilst Ruth who had gone back into the bathroom and grabbed whatever she thought might be useful, was sitting in front of him and holding his hand. Hoping against hope that this was just a case of too much to eat and drink and that he wasn't having some sort of setback, she mopped his brow and waited for the inevitable. Catherine, who didn't know that her father had drunk virtually a whole bottle of wine, when his pills suggested that alcohol should be kept to a minimum, was convinced that they should call for an ambulance.

'I'm not bloody dying and I'm certainly not going to spend Christmas in hospital,' he groaned between bouts of nausea, as he gazed at the woman he loved and wondered for the umpteenth time, why she still loved him.

When he eventually quietened, Catherine left them on their own and went into the kitchen to fetch her dad some water and to make her and Ruth a mug of tea.

'I don't deserve you,' Harry muttered into her hair as Ruth cuddled him and gently rubbed his back, confident enough that they could now lay him down, albeit on his side. He felt safe again wrapped in her arms and could quite happily have fallen asleep, but he could hear Catherine on her way back and this was the second time in one evening that he had embarrassed himself in front of his daughter.

Catherine wasn't in the least bit embarrassed, she was just grateful that he had stopped being sick and was looking so much better. Both Malcolm and Jo had told her how Ruth's relationship with her dad was something special and she was beginning to see why. His accident had knocked his confidence as it would with anyone but it was more than that. He wasn't the dominant and self-centred bastard that her mother had always made him out to be, he was vulnerable and had a real need to be loved and it was blindingly obvious that Ruth gave him that in spades. She knew that she ought to leave them alone but she was wide awake now and if Ruth intended staying awake as well which it looked as though she did, then she was more than happy to keep her company.

With Harry now asleep with his arm draped across Ruth's lap and Catherine sitting in a chair beside their bed, they prepared themselves for a long night.

'I'm still curious,' said Catherine, taking a sip of her tea as she watched her father's sleeping form. 'I know we've had this conversation before, but why on earth has it taken this long for you and Dad to finally get together?'

Ruth looked down at Harry as she continued to stroke his arm and then at the girl that was going to be her step daughter, her eyes as bright as her fathers, although with a hint of sadness in them. It was Christmas Eve, it was one in the morning and for whatever reason, she knew that she was going to answer Catherine's question. Some of the things that she told her, she had already heard from Malcolm, but she had no idea about the depth of their feelings for each other or the sacrifices that they had both made.

'I can't give you specific details Catherine, you know that don't you,' she told her, and then went on to explain. It all went downhill after their one and only date when she had been ridiculously indecisive and her father had refused to waver from what he believed in. It gave some people that wanted to hurt him, the leverage that they needed, which was to get rid of her. That was why she had gone to Cyprus and why they had been separated for over two years. Avoiding the full horror of the story, she went on to tell her that it was only when she came home with Nico, that they actually came to their senses and found a way to be together. We had the holiday which was lovely she concluded and now this.

Catherine sat looking at her, trying to weigh up what Ruth had just said. She knew that Ruth and her Dad had loved each other for years, but what she hadn't known, was that until their recent holiday, that they had only been out together once. If this was true, then what she had heard a few nights ago must also be a recent occurrence.

'So you're telling me,' she said, with eyes as wide as saucers and with a nerve that only a daughter of Harrys would have, 'that you and Dad have fancied each other all these years and it wasn't until this holiday that you - well you know.

'While you decide how to answer that question Ruth,' said a voice from the pillow. 'I'd quite like a cup of tea.'

* * *

Despite going to bed far later than was usual, Nico was awake and bright as a button, soon after seven. Since Harry had come home from the hospital there had been a routine every morning and until Ruth told him that he could do so, he knew that he wasn't allowed to go into their bedroom. She hadn't wanted to impose any restrictions, but for Nico's sake more than Harrys, she wanted to shield him from things that he didn't need to see, most importantly Harrys injuries or him being washed and dressed by either her or by his nurse. Catherine though wasn't off limits, as with the enthusiasm and energy of an eight year old who knew that it was Christmas Eve and that meant decorating the tree, he bounced into her room.

Catherine had slept with her door open just in case Ruth had called her again, but that hadn't happened and with an unexpected date on the horizon, she had hoped for a lie in. Dragging herself out of bed she followed Nico down the stairs, who having discovered that her Dad's bedroom door was open, had wandered in. This didn't really amount to breaking the rules, so rather than make a fuss she stood and watched as Nico climbed up onto their bed and snuggled himself in behind her Dad. She had seen the three of them together many times over the past couple of weeks, but she had never seen them so close. The realisation that they looked like a family surprised her and for the first time in her adult life, she had an overwhelming desire to belong.

Having let Scarlet out into the garden, she sat hugging her first mug of tea and wondering what to do next. Breakfast, that's something that I can do for them, she thought and after that I'll search out the decorations and think about that tree. It was Christmas Eve, she had a date tonight and after that she was going to be spending Christmas with her Dad. It didn't get much better than that.


	24. Chapter 24

Harry had slept well and had woken up with no after effects whatsoever after the indulgencies of the previous evening. Ruth on the other hand had slept fitfully for the four or so hours that she had been asleep, always conscious of every movement or sound that Harry made. So much so, that when June arrived to get him showered and dressed for the day, she was still dead to the world.

For the best part of two weeks, he and June had been aware that he had regained some movement in his legs, sufficient to suggest that before too long that he might be able to stand. The physio that he had been doing had ensured that his muscles were still in good shape, but it was more than that, he was in less pain and albeit not very much, he had regained some movement in his knees.

'Right,' she said, 'let's give this a go,' as after his shower, he put his feet on the ground and with the aid of the frame that she had put in front of him tried to pull himself up. He didn't get very far before he collapsed down again but the smile on his face lit up the room. 'One more try but then that's enough for today,' she told him, as he took a deep breath and pulled with all his might. Unfortunately his ambition outweighed his ability and he stayed where he was. 'It's a case of the tortoise and not the hare Harry, June told him, 'and remember who won that race.'

Catherine had done them proud and breakfast was on the table. Quite how Harry could face a huge breakfast after the previous evening Ruth couldn't imagine as he and Nico made short shift of what Catherine had cooked.

'Give me that list and Nico and I will go,' offered Catherine, when Ruth grumbled that there was still some food shopping that needed to be done. Before she went out on her date with Dimitri, something that she still hadn't told her dad, she wanted them to spend the afternoon as a family and to watch her and Nico decorate the tree. Having found what remained of her father's decorations last put up heaven knows how many years ago, she needed to get some new ones and if it was going to look special, then that involved buying new lights as well. 'You two have a rest,' she said, grinning broadly at her dad and Ruth as they went through the door, 'I'll call you when we're on our way back.'

Despite Catherine's obvious innuendo, it took two people to get Harry in and out of bed and June was long gone. Ruth had decided that it gave them the perfect opportunity to wrap some presents and talk about how to make the most of what would be Nico's first Christmas with his new family. Harry however had other ideas. He had struggled through his breakfast barely noticing what he had been eating, as Ruth had wandered round the kitchen dressed in nothing but her short pyjama trousers and one of his old shirts. Did she have any idea of the effect that had on him, he suspected not, but having virtually thrown up over the person that was now his fiancée rather than kiss her senseless after he had proposed, he needed to put that right. She was standing at the sink washing up and he was sitting right behind her drying the plates that she was handing to him, her bare legs inches from him, a temptation he could no longer resist. Being fully dressed didn't help either, he was getting warmer by the minute and his trousers were uncomfortably tight.

Who was he trying to kid thought Ruth, knowing full well where a kiss from Harry would lead, when five minutes later with the washing up abandoned, they were back in their bedroom with the door locked and her pyjamas round her ankles. Her last coherent thought, was that if this was what Harry did when he was apologising, then once he was fit again she needed to get upset more often. It was the middle of the morning on Christmas Eve, but _Bugger the present wrapping._

Trying to disguise what they had been doing was a plan that went right out of the window as Catherine and Nico arrived back just as Ruth was emerging from the shower. Deciding that asking Catherine why she hadn't rung as she had promised, would only add fuel to the already stoked fire, Ruth gave up on explanations and headed in search of some clothes. A now very happy Harry was in the kitchen making sandwiches, when his daughter walked in. She had the same look on her face that Ros had always given him when she had caught him gazing at Ruth and he found it really unnerving. He loved Catherine dearly and it was lovely to have her at home, but he was still the parent here, wasn't he?

With Catherine's new game of wind up the parents put to one side, they had a wonderful afternoon. The tree started to take on a new life as soon as the first decorations went on. Harry, just as he had done when Catherine had been small, handed a selection of reindeer, Santa on a sledge, a train and in numerous other guises to Nico who was decorating the lower branches, as Catherine perched on a ladder rather than his shoulders as she had done all those years ago, loaded the higher branches. Ruth, who had been put in charge of the lights, had made them mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows as the cats and Scarlet lay sleeping in front of the fire. It was a Christmas scene that was being enacted across the world, but as far as they were concerned, they were in their own precious little bubble.

'Ten, nine, eight,' squealed Nico as Ruth prepared to switch on the lights, followed by 'wow,' when they came on first time.

Whilst Ruth was putting Nico to bed, Harry and Catherine were sitting on the sofa together, the latter looking far less confident than she had earlier in the day. She was back to feeling like his little girl again, about to confess her latest crime.

'My date tonight, I'm going out for a meal with Dimitri,' she told him, fully expecting an explosion that didn't come. She looked so grown up and in Harry's eyes beautiful, a lot like her mother during the days when he had loved Jane a whole lifetime ago. What he had with Ruth was different and mind-blowingly wonderful and before Catherine went out that evening, he knew that he had to tell her. Without any preamble and with more courage than he felt, 'I've asked Ruth to marry me,' he told her.

Catherine said nothing, she just sat there with her mouth open and her eyes locked with his, before she threw her arms round him and burst into tears.

Ruth walked in on this, wondering what on earth had happened as Catherine disengaged herself from Harry and rushed towards her, just as the doorbell rang.

'Can I use your bathroom?' asked Catherine, grinning at them, as Ruth headed for the door to let Dimitri in.

'Not a word to anyone,' said Harry, 'we haven't told Nico yet.'

'Don't worry about Nico,' Catherine told him, 'he thinks you're the dog's bollocks.'

Harry had only seen Dimitri briefly but he knew all about him and in fact he had considered recruiting him himself at one stage. Calling Harry sir and shaking his hand went a long way to impressing Harry, who knew full well that he was a dinosaur when it came to etiquette. Had Dimitri filled in an S24 allowing him to take Catherine out, probably not but then it was none of his business any more.


	25. Chapter 25

Now that Catherine had gone out for the evening and with Nico asleep upstairs, the house was blissfully quiet. With June not due to arrive for at least a couple of hours, they had resisted turning on the TV or indeed the radio and instead were chatting about anything and everything, as they made steady inroads into the present wrapping. What to buy for Nico had been the most difficult decision, but _the every boy's dream train set_ which Harry had chosen and Ruth was now struggling to disguise, was something that he had always wanted but never had. The large box contained trains and carriages, buildings, bridges and a vast amount of track. Add to that, roads, fields, people and animals all neatly packed and there wasn't a cat in hells chance that Nico would get bored on Christmas Day.

'No I'm not getting it out of the box,' she told Harry for the second time, when he suggested that perhaps they should check it out.

By the time that June eventually arrived they had all but finished. Their joint presents for Catherine had been wrapped and Ruth's to Harry. What he had bought for her she had no idea and he certainly wasn't going to tell her. He still had contacts even now and a month ago when she had been out of the house to collect Nico from school, one of his long term associates had paid him a visit.

'I'll see you in the morning Harry,' said the ever smiley June, as she squeezed his hand and re arranged his pillows. Even on Christmas Day she assured him, she would be there to sort him out. This was such a happy household and she had liked Harry from the moment she had met him. He was her favourite patient, but she knew without a shadow of doubt that within a few weeks he wouldn't need her anymore. Walking her to the door, Ruth felt the same sense of gratitude that she did every day. June was worth her weight in gold and had made life so much easier and certainly more bearable for Harry.

* * *

'Come in for a coffee and I'll ask him,' said Catherine, hoping that she wasn't sounding too needy as she and Dimitri arrived at the front gate. She had really enjoyed her evening in fact she couldn't remember the last time, if ever, that someone had made her feel like this. Her preconceived idea that spies were tough, arrogant and heartless was already long gone, but had she not already known, she would never have guessed in a million years that this was what Dimitri did for a living. Whether or not her dad would agree to him coming over on Christmas Day was another question entirely, but the lights were still on which meant that he and Ruth were still awake so it was a case of now or never.

* * *

Rules were there to be broken as at six o'clock and dragging the pillow case that Santa, alias Catherine had left him, Nico opened the door to their room. Harry had been awake for some while but Ruth was still asleep, so with the ridiculous assumption that he could keep Nico quiet, he put his finger to his lips.

'Just give me five minutes while I make some tea,' she groaned, as brandishing a chocolate reindeer which was the latest thing to come out of his sack, Nico clambered over her and handed it to Harry. By the time she got back from the kitchen, the bed had been reduced to chaos although Nico with a face covered in chocolate had at least calmed down. She was tired but then when wasn't she these days, whereas Harry looking as bright as a button at this ungodly hour, was making up a story. He was describing Santa's route from Lapland which allowed him time to visit all the children in the world in the space of just one night. There were apparently special stop off points where the reindeer could rest and be fed, well lucky them she thought. The next part of the story involved explaining time zones which were way outside Nico's comprehension, but none the less he was enthralled and more importantly from her perspective, mercifully quiet.

Finishing her tea, she left them to it and headed into the bathroom for a shower. Since Harry's accident, moments on her own had been few and far between and the closer it had got to Christmas the more she had appreciated them. This morning though as the hot water cascaded over her, unplanned memories of her last Christmas in Cyprus flooded her consciousness and the tears came. These though were happy tears, brought on by a huge surge of love and the realisation that in the space of less than a year, her whole life had been turned around. She and Nico were safe and in the privacy of the moment she let the tears flow and her mind fill with Harry. She had never seen Nico so happy and it was all down to him.

It was only when Catherine hammered on the door to tell her that June was here and that she would take Nico upstairs that she finished her shower in double quick time, ready to face the day and the first job on the list which was breakfast round the fire.

'One present only until after lunch,' Harry told Nico, who had been scrabbling under the tree and reading the labels. There were no prizes for guessing which one he chose, as he dragged the box in front of them and then ripped the paper off at break neck speed. His reaction of pure joy as he turned towards them had Ruth filling up again and she felt compelled to get down on the floor next to Nico and to give him a cuddle. With Catherine gathering up the plates and cups, she hadn't reached the door before Harry and Nico were discussing a plan of action. Well she and Catherine had one of their own, which was how to cook a Christmas Dinner which was something that neither of them had done before.

Miraculously, at least as far as Ruth and Catherine were concerned, they got it right and dinner was served on time. The dining room table had been moved from their bedroom into the lounge and was adorned with candles and all the trimmings. With Christmas music playing gently in the background, they settled down to eat. Whatever Harry might have thought about his daughter going out with a spy, he kept to himself and as the time went on both he and Dimitri relaxed into an amicable truce. Catherine was besotted, Ruth could see that and she was more than ready to tackle Harry if he showed any sign of dissent. Catherine wasn't a child any more, in fact she was only eight years younger than she was and as far as Ruth was concerned, she thought Dimitri was lovely. Even more so when at the end of the meal, he thanked her for a wonderful dinner, and suggested that he and Catherine did the washing up.

By the time that Ruth woke up, a long discarded picnic set, or at least the plates and dishes, had been dragged from under the stairs and were being used for sorting. How long she had been asleep she didn't know, but her two boys had commandeered the now empty table as a base for Nicoville. They had chosen the town and country theme from the endless available to them and the track was now in place. The room was so quiet, no wonder that she had fallen asleep, that and the early morning and the excellent meal that they had all eaten. Harry was having the time of his life and sorting the small pieces into bowls whilst Nico was lining up the buildings and the rolling stock. Ruth smiled to herself, it did have the touch of a planning meeting on the grid.

'Hey,' said Harry, putting his arm round her waist as she bent down and planted a kiss on his head. 'They've taken Scarlet for a walk,' he added, when he saw the unspoken question about Catherine and Dimitri. It was dark, but then it got dark well before four at that time of year and she needed her customary cup of tea. Just before she left the room, she paused and looked back. Harry had stopped what he was doing and was watching her, his eyes smouldering with desire. With the curtains drawn, the flames from the fire flickering in the background and with Nico in a world of his own, she walked unbidden back to him. There was no need for words, everything implied later, they could read each other's minds.


	26. Chapter 26

'Come on darling, let's get you into bed,' said Ruth, wrapping her arms around Nico and prising him away from his train set and Dimitri, who had been helping him construct a set of farm buildings and put heads on the sheep. Having been promised that they would leave it as it was until he came down again in the morning, he had given Harry his now customary cuddle and kiss goodnight and was on his way upstairs.

Unlike Nico, Harry wanted to go to bed or more specifically he wanted to go to bed with Ruth. It had started just after breakfast with a moment of realisation when June had been helping him to get showered and dressed. When Ruth had uttered the words 'come on darling, let's get you into bed,' he had curbed his enthusiasm to shout 'yes please' and was doing his best to remain patient until the invitation applied to him. Frustratingly, especially for Harry but with full justification, Dimitri stayed put and Catherine announced that she was going to hand out the presents. She had been more than generous and had given them a voucher to a West End show of their choice, whilst Nico had given Ruth a scarf and Harry a CD of classical arias that according to Ruth had special meanings. Ruth, with advice from Catherine, had bought Harry a compact and portable sound system which was designed to replace the ancient multi stack model, that she battled to keep dust free.

Waiting until the chatter had died down and last but by no means least, Dimitri had his moment. Not as Catherine's new boyfriend but as Dimitri Levendis, a member of section D. Taking an envelope from his jacket pocket and carrying a small parcel, he crossed the room to where Harry and Ruth were sitting. Bending down to kiss Ruth on the cheek and then shaking Harry warmly by the hand, he handed them their presents. The parcel that Ruth opened contained a framed photograph of her Harry on the grid that had been taken by Adam, four Christmases ago. She had tinsel in her hair and someone, probably Zaf she thought, had made them turn towards the camera. They were sitting _very_ close together, much the same as they were now.

'Made for each other,' said Dimitri cheekily and smiling at them, 'even then.'

The envelope which Harry opened contained a card and a voucher for an all - expenses paid weekend for two in an out of town hotel, on a date of their choosing.

'Everyone Sir,' said Dimitri, with an emphasis on everyone 'has contributed and signed the card, including the PM and Home Secretary.'

Catherine was speechless and astounded by the respect that her dad's colleagues still held for him, but the room had suddenly gone far too quiet and she could see that Ruth and worse still her dad were struggling to respond. 'Thank you,' was all he had managed and Ruth who was usually restrained in company, had put one arm round him and with the other was rubbing his thigh. This is such a special moment and they don't need us an audience she thought, so she stood up and headed towards the TV. Not wanting to sound too obvious but with a _let's get this show on the road_ insinuation, she found her voice.

'Dimitri and I are going to watch a film,' she announced, 'so if you two want to go to bed.'

'Were we that bloody obvious?' Harry asked her, after she and Catherine had helped him into bed. Neither of them had failed to see Dimitri's raised eyebrow or been able to control their smiles at Catherine's suggestion.

All evening, he had insisted that Ruth had to open her present from him when they were on their own and now was that moment. 'Open the drawer,' he told her pointing to his bedside cabinet as Ruth walked round their bed, absolutely certain as to what she would find. It wasn't the small box that she had been expecting and for a second she felt a tinge of disappointment. 'Come on open it,' said Harry, seeing her hesitation as she sat down beside him. She had never been good with surprises and her hands shaking as she tore off the paper and opened the slightly larger box. Two interlinked simple gold hearts hung on a chain. In her wildest imaginations, she had never expected Harry to buy her something like this, it was truly beautiful.

'There's something else, it's over there,' he continued, before she could catch her breath.

With legs that had turned to jelly and with her heart hammering in her chest, she walked across the room and opened the other drawer. A larger flat box equally well wrapped, was hidden under Harry's shirts. He'd had an accomplice, he could have never manged this on his own.

'June hid the boxes,' he said, in answer to her question.

Again, there was no clue as to what the box might contain, but when Ruth opened up the lid there wasn't just one, but four rings from which to choose.

'I couldn't make up my mind,' said Harry, as he held her shaking hand, but which ever one you choose, it'll fit.' She couldn't speak, she could barely breath, it was surreal. She was thirty eight years old and her world had been turned on its head and Harry was sitting so very, very close, his eyes burning into hers. Slowly, almost in slow motion, he leant forward and kissed her rolling her over until she was laying beside him.

What followed that moment was drowned out by the film or whatever else was going on in the room next door, although by this stage neither of them cared. It was amazing how much easier it was for Harry to manoeuvre himself now he was pain free, as with all the artistry and the gentleness of someone who is truly in love, he did what he had been dreaming about all day. Apart from the bright solitaire diamond that she had chosen, they were completely naked together for the first time in months. As Beethoven's 'Ode to Joy' played in the background and Harry took his time, it became the singularly most beautiful night of his life. Ruth was way beyond thinking, as for third time in the space of one night she surrendered and gave herself over to Harry.

When sleep finally engulfed her, she was still cradled in Harry's arms, he just couldn't let her go. They were as emotionally close as they had ever been with an invisible but unbreakable bond wrapped around them. Harry lay awake, the scent of Ruth's hair intoxicatingly close as he breathed her in. He didn't want to sleep he wanted to savour the memory of a night that would stay with him forever. Against all the odds, he and Ruth were going to get married and tomorrow they could start planning their future together. Their wedding, with him standing next to Ruth was his top priority and a new home that was somewhere that Nico could be the child that he deserved to be.

It was well after midnight, when Dimitri stood on the doorstep and kissed Catherine goodnight. He hadn't exactly done an Uncle Malcolm when he had talked to her about her dad, but he had come pretty damn close.

'In case you don't already know,' he told her, 'your dad's and absolute legend. Unfortunately though in our line of work there aren't many of us that survive and I'm sure that your dad doesn't like the idea of you going out with a spy.'

'So why are you standing here kissing me?' she retorted, throwing the ball back in his court, already knowing that she didn't want to go back to Scotland.


	27. Chapter 27

The house was far too quiet and it was the not knowing that was driving him crazy. Making a list wasn't helping, in fact he was even more agitated than when they had discussed it over breakfast. God she was stubborn at times, but nine times out of ten she was right, so in the end he had given in.

'It'll be fine,' Ruth had told him, more for her own benefit than for his, as she made him two rounds of sandwiches and a flask of coffee, before calling to Nico and Scarlet that it was time to go.

He had missed her from the moment that the door closed behind her as memories of the previous night flooded his mind. The happiness when she had opened her presents, her absolute love for him and of course what had followed. She might be stubborn but she was right about this. What mattered most today, was that one or both of them told Nico their news. Looking at his watch he had at least another hour to kill, so abandoning his list he turned on his laptop and found himself one of the _houses for sale_ sites _._

Ruth had decided that familiarity might help her cause, so with the promise of a hot chocolate and a bun of his choice, she, Nico and Scarlet were on their way to the park where they had had their first outing with Harry. She had to stop second guessing and torturing herself because no matter how Nico reacted, she'd have to deal with it. Having paid for their drinks and with Nico clutching a doughnut, she took the now familiar route in search of their bench.

It wasn't until Nico raced into the distance in pursuit of Scarlet, that she gave into temptation and took off her gloves. Bringing her left hand up to her lips she kissed her ring, leaving her hand there and briefly closing her eyes as she savoured the moment. Nico had reached the top of the hill and was waving, his bright red scarf that Catherine had bought him flying behind him as he ran back towards her. Had he really understood what she had been trying to tell him, she really didn't know and why had she been so stubborn and not listened to Harry and then they could have been doing this together? Feeding the ducks was next on Nico's wish list, so Ruth bought a bag of bird food. _Bread wasn't good for the ducks,_ said the large sign. With Nico's hand in hers and Scarlet firmly back on her lead, she headed towards the lake and the small group of couples and their children who were presumably working off the indulgencies of Christmas Day. The only downside was that Harry wasn't with them, but they were a couple married or not and she was determined that she wouldn't get tearful again. Today was a happy day and when they got home there would just be the three of them and Harry would know what to say.

Harry was indulging himself in his memories and at the same time looking at houses in rural locations in the North of England and in the West. He wasn't too sure about returning to his roots, but it did have the advantage of a beautiful and tourist free coastline whereas in the west which was where Ruth had grown up, it was wall to wall tourist hotspots. Checking his watch, he estimated that it would be half an hour before she and Nico got home and as he had started to get hungry, he took the lid off his flask and took a bite of his first sandwich. 'Who the bloody hell is that?' he said to himself, as the doorbell rang. It had been at least two months, more probably since he had seen Ros and in a bizarre sort of way he was pleased to see her.

'Don't let me stop you,' she said, when she saw him eyeing his half eaten sandwich, 'Ruth left you, has she?'

She was obviously joking he knew that and years ago it would have touched a nerve, but not so now.

'Quite possibly,' he said, keeping a straight face, 'so make yourself a cup of something and there's a mountain of turkey if you want a sandwich.'

For the next half hour, in fact almost until the time when Nico bundled through the door, he was transported back to MI5 as Ros told him about Nightingale and their plot to change world order. Russell Price from the CIA had organised the bombing of the hotel, but the bomb had never been aimed at him. What was more shocking and had Harry's heart rate rising to a dangerous level, was to find out that not only Oliver Mace but worse still Juliet had been part of the plot. His contempt for Mace had never been a secret, but Juliet, it was beyond his comprehension.

'She's a lunatic Harry, there's no other way to describe her,' said Ros, as she went on to explain the deranged plan that Juliet had signed up to.

'Not a word to Ruth,' he told her, 'I don't want to spoil today.'

The tense atmosphere was broken as Nico followed by Scarlet ran into the room. Totally connected with Harry he was talking at the rate of knots, his eyes bright and alive as they always were when he was excited. Harry had no idea as to how the conversation with Ruth had gone, but there was every chance that Nico in this frame of mind would spill the beans. Doughnuts, ducks and a boy called Michel that he had met, were tumbling out like peas from a pod when he suddenly spotted Ros. Greeting her as though she was an old friend, he invited her to come and see his new train set. As he dragged her in the direction of the sitting room, Ruth who had been tidying their coats and stowing their boots was walking down the hall.

'Harry's in the kitchen,' said Ros by way of a greeting, 'I'm off to play.'

Ruth still didn't like Ros, despite her kindness when she had stayed with her at the hospital. There was something about her even now, that made her feel small. She had so been looking forward to getting home to Harry and confessing that he had been right and that she shouldn't have attempted to talk to Nico on her own, and now this.

'So?' Harry asked her for a second time, still not knowing the outcome of the discussion, other than it involved doughnuts.

'When she's gone,' was the only answer he got, as the temperature in the kitchen dropped and the atmosphere of the previous day felt like a million miles away.

Ruth knew that she was being unreasonable, but this was personal and the last thing she wanted was a leering Ros to walk in and find them in the middle of an intimate conversation. Harry by now was imagining the worst, although Ruth was still wearing her ring and presumably Nico had seen it. It was another half hour, during which time they had drunk what felt like endless cups of tea, before Ros stuck her head round the door and announced that she must be going. Bloody good job too thought Ruth, but she refrained from saying so.

'Well?' he asked her again as she continued to twist her hands.

In the months since they had been together, there had never been a cross word between them, but in that moment as Harry's fear levels rose, his patience snapped.

'Ruth,' he said, in such a loud voice that she jumped from her seat. Harry was standing up.

Neither of them moved, Harry because he couldn't and Ruth because her determination to stay in control no matter what, had deserted her.

By the time that Nico walked in, Ruth had made it round the table and was wrapped in Harry's arms. What he'd also seen was the kiss that had preceded the cuddle, but they didn't know that.


	28. Chapter 28

'Make sure that you're holding on to something substantial, or better still, wait until I'm there,' June had told him that morning, when they had discussed the fact that he was within days of being able to stand. 'There's every chance that your knees will lock,' which of course they had. Trying desperately to remember what she had told him to do, he took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. 'Forget about your legs and gently lower your bum,' was all well and good in theory, but it was easier said than done. The something substantial wasn't there, it was Ruth who having returned his kiss with all that she had, was now gripping his hands like a vice.

Ruth, it's fine,' he whispered to her, smiling at Nico who was standing just inside the door and watching them. How long he had been there he had no idea but just at this moment he had more important things to worry about. Ruth, who was terrified that he was going to fall finally did as he was asking and released one of his hands, dragging the table so that it was part way in front of him. Fortunately his confidence wasn't misplaced and after what seemed like an age, he lowered himself into his chair.

Harry called Nico, motioning for him to come over in an effort to involve him and prevent Ruth who hadn't yet seen him, from instigating what would quite probably been a re run of the kiss.

Seemingly unperturbed by what he had witnessed other than the fact that Harry had been standing up, Nico was at his side in an instant and very gently put his hands on Harry's legs.

'Are you mended?' he asked him in a small voice.

Harry was annoyed with himself. He'd snapped at Ruth which was so far removed from the grand gesture that he had planned when he stood up. He certainly hadn't been angry with her, he'd been frustrated by her sheer lack of confidence and that a word from Ros could still bring her down. He wanted no he needed them to be a family and as always, she'd under rated herself and her ability to explain this to Nico. Added to that, he'd only known Nico for a few months and the bottom line was that he had absolutely no claim on him, whereas Ruth who had known him for three years, was in all senses of the word his mother.

Ruth took their lunch through to the sitting room and lit the fire. It made the room look so much more cheerful, besides which she needed to keep busy in the build up to her conversation with Nico. She and Harry had discussed what she should say and if she faltered as she fully expected to do, then he would step in. Nico, who was sitting on the sofa next to Harry was oblivious to her turmoil and was tucking into his sandwiches as Ruth dragged an armchair in front of them and sat down. Wondering why on earth she ever had doubted her ability to deal with this, Harry sat and listened and breathed her in. Not in a million years could he have explained it in the simple terms as she was doing, pausing to allow Nico time to absorb what she was saying and to ask her questions if he wanted to. In reality she was speaking to both of them, with the clear message that whatever happened she would never leave them. Had she been able to say what she really wanted to, then she would have used words like forever and family. But in Nico's short life, nothing had lasted forever and she had to protect him. 'Harry and I love each other and we're going to get married,' was followed by, 'and we both love you too.' Trying to avoid anything that sounded remotely like his life in Cyprus, she told him that they were going to sell Harry's house and move to somewhere quieter where they would be surrounded by countryside. What she wanted to add was _beside the sea_ but that was definitely a no. He would have to go to a different school but that would be fun, because he would be able to make new friends that he could bring home to play, brought to an end what for Ruth had been a fear filled morning.

The entire time that she had been talking Nico had said nothing his only movement had been to take Harry's hand. The silence was deafening and it needed to be broken, but Ruth was beyond that.

'Nico, you can ask us anything,' offered Harry.

'Will Catherine be able to come too?' was his only question.

When Nico's bedtime finally arrived Catherine was still out and to be honest Ruth was grateful. She had spent so little time with him in the past few weeks and she felt this overwhelming need to sit with him until he fell asleep. It was a bitterly cold night and as she drew the curtains, she was sure that she could see snow in the air, but the house was warm and cosy and Nico soon settled down. Curling up beside him, she picked up the book that Catherine had bought for him and turned to the first page.

'Take as long as you like,' Harry had told her, ' I'll be fine.'

From the moment that her dad had proposed to Ruth, Catherine had started to think about New Year's Eve. They had told her that they planned on talking to Nico today and despite them telling her otherwise, she knew that they were worried. Ignoring Dimitri's more than persuasive charm had been difficult, but she had called a taxi and was on her way home.

'I don't care what you say, this house has never hosted a party and there certainly isn't going to be one now,' came from Harry, as Ruth arrived at the bottom of the stairs.

'Don't be such an old stick in the mud, you've just got engaged,' stopped her in her tracks as she paused to listen.

'Stick in the mud I accept, but I resent the old,' had Ruth giggling.

'Well tough, because it's all arranged,' Catherine countered. 'I've waited twenty years to see you this happy and I'm not talking about a bloody banquet, just dinner with a few friends and before you say anything else Nico already knows. You're not the only one who can keep secrets.'

The few friends that Catherine had invited were Malcolm and Jo who was going to help her with the cooking and Tariq and Dimitri. Catherine was if nothing else tenacious and had also invited June. She was close to Malcolm's age and would otherwise have been spending New Year's Eve alone and you never knew.

Having conceded defeat, Harry contemplated Catherine's words. As much as he hated to admit it she was right, he did need to come out of the dark ages. The next few days he spent with Nico as they finished and played with the train set, watched videos and looked at endless websites with houses for sale. Ruth meanwhile, egged on by Catherine had gone into party mode. She felt years younger all of a sudden had a new spring in her step as though the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. Harry was revelling in watching her and certainly enjoying bedtime. Ruth was right, they did have to let people know and with the house on the market and a wedding to plan, New Year's Eve was a good a time as any.


	29. Chapter 29

As strains of 'it's magic' sung by Catherine and Jo rang out down the hall, Harry and Tariq were carefully dismantling the train set.

'We won't break anything and we'll put it together again tomorrow,' he'd promised Nico, 'but we've got lots of visitors coming this evening and we need to use the table.'

'Strictly out of bounds,' said Catherine's note on the kitchen door, with the exception of Jo who was in for the long haul so had arrived early and Ruth who had been given access with the sole purpose of making drinks. As the clock ticked round towards mid – morning, the various main courses were ready for the oven and the salads that were accompanying them were boxed and in the fridge. Ruth on the other hand was no longer enjoying their singing and was in need of a break. Having had virtually nothing to do and despite Harry insisting that she should take it easy, she'd convinced herself that the house was filthy and that she needed to do some cleaning. The bathrooms, the hall and the sitting room were now pristine, not they'd been dirty when she'd started. It was a ridiculous notion she knew that, because more than half of their guests were already there and who the hell would be checking for dust. Delivering coffees for Harry and Tariq she wandered aimlessly towards the window.

'When you've drunk that, could you do me a favour,' she mumbled at Tariq, 'Scarlet could do with a walk.'

'Two out of ten for subtlety,' said Harry, patting the sofa beside him as the dog walkers exited the door.

Estimating that they had about an hour before the wanderers returned or they were interrupted by Catherine or Jo delivering their sandwiches, Ruth threw caution to the wind and curled herself in beside him. Moments like this without interruption had been few and far between and Harry wasn't tired, far from it. For all his working life, he'd been driven by the desire to uphold what he believed in and it had deprived him of the most fundamental need that is intrinsic to each and every human being, the need and the love of another. In Ruth he had everything that he had ever wanted and he wanted her now.

'Ruth,' he whispered, his lips inches from hers. She'd fallen asleep.

'Dad,' said Catherine, bringing him back to the here and now, as he opened his eyes to his smiling daughter. Discreet was her new middle name and she'd seen Nico and Tariq go out. She was also her dad's new confidant and was fully aware of what he planned to say tonight.

'I'll take their lunch through,' she'd said to Jo, 'I won't be a moment.'

Catherine had done them proud and the room and the table had been transformed to celebrate. June had arrived earlier than the rest of them and was helping Harry to shower and change, whilst Catherine, Jo and Nico were getting ready upstairs. Nico looked very smart, he had never been to a grown up party and with the promise that he could stay up late he had ensured Catherine that he would behave himself. Ruth on the other hand was flipping between happy and terrified and understandably agonising as to what to wear. Harry telling her that she looked beautiful which of course she did was all well and good, but since the realisation that she would be virtually playing host in his house and that nobody knew that they were engaged had sunk in, her confidence had deserted her.

'Listen to him sweetheart,' June tried, as she struggled to get shoes onto Harry's now dancing feet. 'I'll leave you to it,' she added as the doorbell rang.

It was Malcolm's voice telling them that they had another guest that interrupted what was a final kiss of encouragement as they headed towards the chatter. Nico already in party mode and looking more than grown up than Ruth had ever seen him came out to join them, dragging them towards the buzz of conversation. Primed by Catherine who had spent a lot of time and effort to tack him down, a young man who Harry hadn't seen for the past three years stepped forward. He had shot up in that time and at sixteen years old was already the image of his father. None who had known Adam would have doubted that this was Wes. Ruth had never met him, but the likeness was extraordinary and he needed no introduction. Completely overcome and with the broadest of smiles on his face, Harry stood up and shook his hand. He had always been able to silence a room he was renowned for it, although this time it wasn't planned. Ruth and of course June had been expecting that at some time during the evening he would stand up, but the words _captive audience_ took on a whole new meaning as Catherine, Malcolm, Dimitri and Tariq stood open mouthed.

'Dad,' said Catherine in a quavering voice and then promptly sat down.

Taking what would be a few steps was also an option, but Harry was saving that for later when he and Ruth were alone. 'You'll be fine,' June had told him, just make sure you concentrate.

'Thank you so much for organising this,' said a now relaxed Ruth, who was sitting on the other side of the room with Catherine and watching a totally animated Harry chatting to Nico and Wes. Harry might have paid for this, but it was Catherine that had made it happen. The arrival of Wes had inevitably delayed the start of their meal, but as Dimitri and Tariq who were the wine waiters for the evening topped up their glasses, nobody seemed to mind. Catherine though had one eye on the clock and with prospect of her dad's announcement and the surprise fireworks in the garden at midnight, she needed to get this meal underway. She'd sat her dad at the head of the table with Ruth and Nico either side of him and Wes next to Nico. Crafty positioning of the rest of them had Malcolm and June in the middle opposite each other whilst the workers, namely her, Jo and the boys were at the other end. It was difficult to hear what was being said other than by those sitting next to you but with Wes now keeping Nico occupied, Harry took a tight grip on Ruth's hand stood up.

Ruth was shaking he could feel it, but her eyes never left him as he told what amounted to the sum total of their family and friends, that he had asked Ruth to marry him and that she had said yes. You could have heard a pin drop, the broadest smile apart from theirs was Malcolms, until a small voice beside them said, 'what about me?' Nico had stolen the show and as they tried not to laugh, the room erupted into applause. Harry went on the tell them about the plans to sell their house, the use of the word their certainly not lost on any of them, that they were going to move out of London and then last but not least, that he wanted to thank both Catherine and June who had supported both him and Ruth and had got them to where they were now.

With dinner over, he and Ruth with Malcolm and June were finally relaxing and watching the younger generation which included a still energetic Nico attempt some sort of line dancing.

'The mind boggles,' said Harry to Malcolm as Tariq's hips gyrated in front of them.

A now slightly tiddly Ruth thought otherwise. She still had memories of the night in the shower on the boat and she intended reminding him later.

When the music finally stopped and with the countdown to midnight minutes away, Dimitri and Catherine ushered them into the garden. Wes had been asked by Harry to look after Nico, he had other things on his mind and he didn't want an audience.

'Wait there,' he told Ruth who was walking towards the window.

Timing was everything and Harry had been planning this moment for weeks. The fact that he hadn't achieved it at Christmas had driven him with such a determination that June knew that he would achieve it tonight. As she had gone through the door with Malcolm she had looked back at him and smiled, giving him the last little bit of confidence that he needed. As the countdown filled the air outside, Harry stood up. He was two metres from where Ruth was standing but it could have been a mile, he was always going to make it. Falteringly at first he slowly closed the gap as he took what was for him was a walk towards heaven. The fireworks erupted, the earth moved, call it what you like as Harry kissed Ruth with such a passion that would continue long into the night.


	30. Chapter 30

Multiple sleepovers plus a good deal to drink as far as the girls were concerned made for a whole lot of giggling upstairs, as Wes prepared to bunk in with Nico while Catherine went in search of extra pillows for her and Jo. It had been a long and stressful day especially for Catherine and with her head still buzzing, she was far from sleep.

'I'm going to see June home,' Malcolm had told her sheepishly as she bid them goodnight and Dimitri, with a promise to be back in the morning to help them clear up, had shared a taxi with Tariq.

As Catherine did battle with the airing cupboard, the couple of the moment and the whole reason that Catherine had arranged the party were to put it mildly, in a bit of a fix.

'Would you like to dance?' asked Harry by way of a joke, as they shuffled round in an effort to get close to the bed. Now that June was on her way home with Malcolm, it had been left to Ruth to help him undress and having a now near naked Harry whose intent was obvious but who had expended almost all of his energy into walking those few steps, was causing her a real problem. The fact that he had resumed their kiss and was pressed against her left no room for imagination, but if he fell it would be disastrous so 'come on Ruth,' she told herself, 'you can do this'

'If anyone walks in here, they'll be scarred for life,' she told him, when they finally reached the bed.

'Tea.' was his answer, 'I'm knackered.'

Tea it was, but not before Ruth had bumped into Catherine who had come down to the kitchen and was making hot chocolate for herself and for Jo. Ruth looked seriously rumpled thought Catherine, who had always suspected that in the case of her dad and Ruth that late night tea came after sex. Well ten out of ten for stamina after a day like today she thought, but she couldn't resist a grin at Ruth.

The entire household even Harry slept in and it was nearly nine by the time that they started filtering in for breakfast. There wasn't the usual formality of their family breakfast, it was a case of help yourself as Wes and Nico who was making the most of having a new friend, was spreading whatever he could find on his toast. Without June to help him it had been up to Ruth again and needless to say they were the last to arrive. Nothing was said, there were no knowing looks, but Ruth still had the uncomfortable feeling that Catherine was quite possibly keeping a diary. Once Dimitri arrived and the table had been cleared, Nico with Wes's help was reassembling the train set. Wes had come prepared, in fact as he didn't need to go back to school for another week so providing that his grandparents agreed, Harry was more than happy for him to stay. He was still the same mischievous but gentle boy and it would be good to have him around and he would be company for Nico.

* * *

Now that the three helpers were out of their way, clearing up in the kitchen and generally sorting out the house, Harry and Ruth had settled themselves on the sofa with the laptop. Their top priority was to decide where they wanted to live and to find themselves a house. In the end it was the house that chose them or more specifically jumped off the page after Harry had typed in waterside properties. It was in Golden Valley which was close to Hay on Wye and had a frontage and mooring on the river. Harry had always dreamed of having a small boat and it would be a safe and peaceful place for Nico to grow up, so Ruth took no persuading. Harry was a maker of decisions and by the end of the day he had made an appointment with the owners and had booked them into a small hotel for a minimum of three nights. There was just one question that had to be answered and again it was about their eight year old 'what about me.' In the last three years, Ruth had only ever spent three days away from Nico and those he had spent at the embassy.

'Catherine will take care of him, I'll even let Dimitri move in, at least let's ask him what he thinks,' Harry pleaded with her. 'Wes is going to be here, he'll be fine.' A few days away did sound wonderful and it would be the first time that they had stayed in a hotel on their own. It certainly had its appeal, so in the end she had done as Harry had asked and they had talked to Nico.

'Take lots of pictures,' Catherine called after them, as three days later she and Nico waved them goodbye. With Ruth driving, they were heading west towards Gloucester and then via Ross to Hay, leaving at home a happy little boy.

It was 8am on a crisp January morning and for the first time in as long as she could remember, Ruth was awake before Harry. He had chosen well and had booked the only available room or what amounted to a small suite on the top floor of the hotel. The view from the window which was where Ruth was now sitting and cradling her first cup of tea was of the river meandering below them and in the distance the Black Mountains. As soon as they had arrived she had been overwhelmed by the quiet and had realised how much she had missed it. It had been too easy to get sucked back into the bustle of London and to convince herself that she was happy there, but it was right what they said, you should never go back.

'Penny for them,' asked a sleep filled voice from the bed as Harry looked across to see her framed in the window.

'It's the view, it's beautiful, was followed by 'yes it is,' made her smile.

They'd ordered breakfast at nine to give themselves plenty of time to drive to their destination and as a quickie no longer existed in Harry's repertoire, he was out of luck and he knew it. It was only their fifth day without June's help and although Harry was getting stronger and more confident each day, showering and getting dressed without Ruth being close, still wasn't an option. The small hotel dining room was surprisingly full when they arrived and there were the usual good morning greetings from the other guests. Food wise, there was nothing Harry enjoyed more than a cooked breakfast and it always tasted so much better when someone else cooked it.

The approach to 'Riverside' as the house was rather aptly or they thought obviously called, was down a rather narrow lane which opened out at the bottom to a set of double gates. These opened onto a gravelled parking area with what looked like some small outbuildings to one side and a small vegetable garden beyond. To Harry that spelt work, to Ruth it looked like paradise. Two dogs raced towards them barking frantically, but one call from a man who they presumed to be in his late seventies and the owner and they quietened down.

'Mr and Mrs Pearce,' he greeted them with a broad smile, 'wife's got the kettle on, do come in.'

The house itself was rambling it was the only way that it could be described and for Ruth, it was love at first sight. Her mind was in overdrive as she imagined the alcoves filled with their books, their belongings tucked into the fitted cupboards that appeared to be everywhere and the kitchen diner across the back of the house with a view of the river was mind blowing.

'We're moving to be nearer our daughter,' said a voice in the background that Ruth barely heard, as Harry gazed at her, her eyes alight with joy that had been too often missing for so many months.

As was customary, the owners had left them on their own to have a second look around. Harry was starting to struggle and he had had to rely on Ruth's description of the upstairs, another challenge that awaited him. Wrapped up well against the cold, they were outside again and leaning against the fence that overlooked the river.

'Yes, the boat was included,' Mr Jones had told Harry, 'it needs a bit of work, but your young son will love helping you with that.'

'Well?' Harry asked her, his face inches from hers as he leant and kissed her. There was no need for his question he knew that and he didn't have to hold her, he just desperately wanted to. They were two minds with but a single thought and with imaginations to match, they had found their home.

'Ring Nico,' he said, handing Ruth his phone, 'I'll go in and tell them yes.'


	31. Chapter 31

Moving house at the beginning of March after what had been a bitterly cold winter wasn't ideal, but Harry had cash buyers who were prepared to pay the asking price and that was rare these days.

With the help of his physio he had made great progress and was moving more freely, but driving was still out of the question, so it was Ruth who was behind the wheel as they headed west. Two adults, a soon to be nine year old, a dog and two cats left little room for luggage, but they'd packed a change of clothing and the essentials to last them a couple of days.

'We'll be with you first thing tomorrow morning Guv,' said Walter, a cheery sole who had been recommended by Malcolm, who for some yet to be explained reason was planning on moving to Scotland.

It wasn't until they stopped for something to eat at a small 'burger and chips' only café as they crossed the county border into Gloucestershire, that Ruth felt less frazzled.

'Are we there yet?' had been the question, and 'not much further,' had been Harry's patient answer for over three hours. It had been relentless and how he had managed to stay so calm, she had no idea. They all needed to stretch their legs including Scarlet and Ruth desperately needed to pee. Leaving them to it, she headed into the ladies relieved that at least it was clean, because places to stop once they had come off the motorway had been non -existent until now. The café was actually more comfortable than it had looked from the outside and Harry and Nico had found themselves a table in the corner reserved for customers with dogs. They'd made their choices it was burgers or nothing which wasn't really Harry, but he was hungry, he was happy and he was heading for a new life. Finally after another hour on much more quieter roads they saw the first sign for Hay. It meant nothing to Nico who was reading to Scarlet, but to Harry and Ruth it meant everything. Neither of them said a word but the emotion in the car was palpable. It was only when they turned down the lane towards the house that Harry turned to speak to Nico.

'We'll take the pets inside first,' he told him, 'and then we can go and see the boat.'

Much to their surprise, they opened the door to a warm and cosy house. The previous owners had left them a card to welcome them and a letter explaining that they had asked Daisy their nearest neighbour, who apparently did bits and bobs, to light the fire and to leave them a box full of groceries.

'Go on then,' Harry told Nico, who was itching to go back outside, 'but remember what I said.'

In the months that had led up to this move, Nico had spent most of his time with Harry and had come to understand that when Harry said something he meant it. He didn't shout at him like his dad used to do, he explained the reason behind what he was telling him and that made a difference. Harry had told him about the boat and that it wasn't on a canal it was on a river. That the water was very deep and it would be running much faster because it was winter and that he wasn't to go beyond the fence on his own. Left to her own devices, Ruth was taking her time and exploring the house. She had reached what was to be their bedroom which had a largish window overlooking the garden and the river beyond. Nico had climbed onto the first rung of the fence and was leaning back against Harry who had his arms around Nico's waist. They were deep in conversation, a real father and son moment and to Ruth it was picture perfect.

'Right,' she said, calling down to the expectant pets, in an effort to get a grip on her emotions, 'time you were fed.'

First thing in the morning really did mean first thing and their doorbell rang just as the clock struck eight.

'Right guv,' said Walter once again, 'where's that list?'

Harry's obsession with lists proved a godsend and every box and item of furniture had been colour coded. Green was for the kitchen, blue for the bathroom and so on. While he and Ruth stood and watched in amazement, Walter and his chums who liked builders when it came to tea and had a penchant for bacon sandwiches as fast as Ruth could make them, lifted and shifted with care and consideration until everything was unloaded and in the appropriate room. Nico and Scarlet both well wrapped up were chasing a ball in the garden and the cats who were confined to the house, had been let loose in what would eventually be the spare bedroom. By lunchtime, which was just after the lads had left, an exhausted Ruth was back on duty and making another round of sandwiches.

'Make the most of it you two,' she told them, 'it's back to healthy eating again tomorrow.'

They had forever to get sorted out but by the time that it got to bedtime, the kitchen was reasonably tidy and the beds had been made. Organised chaos Harry could cope with, there was always going to be a tomorrow in this new life. Scarlet hadn't seemed to settle, so much to Nico's delight they had allowed her to sleep on his bed for just one night. In truth, they were concerned about Nico sleeping in a dark and strange house for the first time and with Scarlet for company they knew he'd be fine. Whatever their motives, in their new bedroom at the other end of the house, a very tired Harry kissed Ruth goodnight and within seconds was sleep.

The remainder of the week flew and by the weekend, the house was about as tidy as they could get it until they went furniture shopping. They had explored Hay and had been to meet the head teacher at Nico's new school. The decision had been made that he start after Easter which was the beginning of the new term, but in the meantime he had been given some homework to help him acclimatise. The after school and holiday activities were amazing and Nico already had his mind set on an adventure weekend that involved camping and canoeing.

The city of Hereford was the 'go to' place, when anyone needed anything more than their weekly shop. It had developed and spread over the years and there were the inevitable out of town shopping areas, but the centre boasted a cathedral and a huge selection of shops and houses in traditional black and white buildings that had stood there for hundreds of years. It was small but spacious and absolutely flat, which made walking so much easier for Harry. With the promise of a new pair of trainers and a cream tea before they headed home, Nico had patiently trudged beside them whilst they searched for furniture, carpets and curtains. Ruth had particularly wanted to visit the cathedral but there was only so much walking that Harry could do, so the tea shop that according to the board outside, sold the best meringues in the west, was where they finished their day. It wasn't easy to eat a giant meringue with a fork when you were eight, but Nico did a sterling job much to the amusement of the elderly couple at the next table.

'You've got a lovely little boy,' said the lady smiling at them, as Harry bent down to pick up the serviette that she'd dropped.

With Easter rapidly approaching and with Catherine arriving the next day, Ruth had worked tirelessly on the house and with the help of Daisy's son who like his mother did bits and bobs, they had tidied the garden. Apart from looking after Nico and in an effort to help and certainly feel less guilty, Harry had mastered the kitchen range and had taken over the cooking. His repertoire was surprisingly good and far exceeded anything that Ruth would have attempted, so she was more than happy with this apparent role reversal.

Looking at her watch as she tidied up in the garden, she realised that it was later than she thought. Dinner was at six so she had just enough time to shower and change. She and Harry were planning an early night, before his diary scribbling daughter arrived in the morning.


	32. Chapter 32

'Ladies and Gentlemen, the next station will be Hereford,' said the automated voice announcement on the train, as a ridiculously excited Catherine joined the rest of the passengers and went in search of her suitcase. Having spent weeks at her dads and been part of a real family unit for the first since she had been small, it wasn't until she had walked back into her empty flat in Scotland, that she realised how much she missed them.

'That's Catherine's train,' Harry told an equally excited Nico, pointing to the arrivals screen that was fluctuating between on time and ten minutes late. Train sets had their place, but this was a real station and a real train and Nico had been climbing the walls for days.

Ruth was at home, more than content for Harry who was now driving, to meet his daughter. She had tidied and cleaned the house the previous day, but there were always the last minute things that had to be done and she was currently preparing dinner. She had so much on her mind, not least of all their rapidly approaching wedding and what to wear. She had never enjoyed clothes shopping and everything that she had so far tried on she hated. Shop assistants telling her that she looked lovely, when she clearly knew she didn't had only made things worse. It was one of the reasons that Catherine had been summoned. The honeymoon was arranged Harry had done that and she quite liked the idea that she didn't know where they were going. No fancy clothes would be needed, was the only clue he had given her and she was more than happy with that. It had been planned to coincide with Nico's adventure holiday, honeymoons were designed to be spent alone he had whispered, during one particularly interesting night.

Whatever Catherine had been expecting, it wasn't this. She was blown away on a sea of emotion the moment that Harry drove through the gates. The quiet, the views all around her and the house with Ruth framed in the doorway and then walking towards her with a huge smile on her face. It was as though she had walked into an altogether different world. She had never imagined her dad anywhere other than in London and when he had called to say that they had found a house and were moving to the country, she had pictured a village with a pub and all the other twee things that the great British public were treated to, on the endless TV shows where people went in search of another life. This was different, it was real and it was absolutely beautiful. More than that, it fitted her dad and Ruth whereas in reality they should have looked out of place. Relaxed, happy and absolutely head over heels about each other was a given, but this took on a whole new dimension. Jeans and sweaters were obvious the dress code in their new life, she was glad that she had packed casual.

If the outside of the house had bowled her over, then the inside doubled that. The London house had been formal, bland even whereas this was - she was searching for the words, _a home_ in all senses of the word.

'It's lovely Dad,' was so inadequate, but it was all she could manage as she followed him upstairs.

In honour of Catherine arriving and the fact they had run out of time, they had employed Daisy's son to decorate the guest bedroom. He'd done a really good job and been rewarded well and with the promise of plenty of work in the future. Getting the furniture delivered had been a nightmare, but Harry still had a trick or two up his sleeve and a look that didn't broker argument.

By the time that they finished dinner the light was beginning to fade, but Catherine was keen to have what her dad described as _a_ _turn_ _around the grounds._ Ruth had insisted that she and Nico would wash up and that she and Harry should go outside on their own. Harry knew full well that this was Ruth's way of allowing him to spend time with Catherine and he loved her all the more for it.

'Gently sweetheart,' Ruth told Nico as he clattered the plates into the bowl, he was new to washing up. She was watching Harry and Catherine who were standing in the exact same place as he and Nico had stood on the first day that they had arrived. A bond between a parent and a child was something all-together different from the love that she and Harry shared and she learned to adjust to that. Having Catherine back in his life had healed a huge wound that he had carried around with him for over twenty years, and she intended to do everything she could to ensure that nothing happened to change that. Catherine might be a bit 'out there' and over exuberant at times but she was good for Ruth as well and she knew that. She was a friend as well as a soon to be stepdaughter and she was a gateway back to Graham, no matter how long that took.

Early the following morning when Ruth had taken Nico into Hay to do some shopping, Catherine was unpacking her things and Harry was who was enjoying a slow start to his day was getting showered and dressed. She was happy for them she really was, but she was in devilment mood again and they were just so easy to wind up, she couldn't resist it.

'Everybody does it but they don't all leave clues,' she said grinning at him, as he picked up the two mugs on their bedside table and tried to ignore the direction that this conversation had veered. Perhaps Ruth was right and Catherine was keeping some sort of scoresheet, in fact he was sure she was. 'As long as you enjoy it,' she continued, rekindling his memories of what had been a long and certainly passion filled night. Deciding to fight fire with fire and put an end to Catherine's sex- fuelled imagination and his and more importantly Ruth's embarrassment, he invited her to sit on the bed.

'We do, very much and very frequently, as I'm sure you're aware,' he said, trying not to laugh at the expression on her face. 'But please Catherine no more comments, it's started to ruin my concentration at the most crucial of times,' he told his now speechless daughter.

As Catherine fled from the room with even more vivid picture flooding her mind, Harry did a high five with himself in the mirror. 'Got you,' he said.

The remainder of the day passed uneventfully as it usually did, as Ruth and Nico returned with the shopping and Harry who was back as boss in the kitchen, served homemade soup, crusty bread and cheese for lunch. They were blessed with unusually warm weather, so Ruth who was bracing herself for the following day's visit to Hereford with Catherine took herself off into the kitchen garden where she knew she would relax. Armed with a flask of coffee and a cold drink for Nico, Harry and he took Catherine on the local tourist trail, a short trip into the black mountains that were just over the border into Wales.

'That's our house,' said Nico, pointing to a dot in the distance that Harry could barely see. It wasn't, but to have told Nico otherwise would have dampened his enthusiasm, and Harry didn't do that sort of thing any more.

By the time they got home, Ruth had lit the fire and the casserole that Harry had made a few days earlier was in the stove.

'It's nothing to do with me,' said Ruth beaming, when Catherine commented on the gorgeous smell. 'Your dad's the chef around here.'

Catherine was tired for a change. Her journey the previous day and been a long one and with all the fresh air that she wasn't used to she was ready for bed by nine. Nico was already asleep, even in the holidays he had an eight o'clock deadline but Harry wasn't about to tell Catherine that he and Ruth invariably turned in early as well.

'Sleep well love, sweet dreams,' he called after his daughter as she climbed the stairs.'

'She did say we should enjoy it,' said Harry half an hour later, to a now as giggling Ruth who was failing to stop his wandering hands.

Catherine was already asleep.


	33. Chapter 33

Four weeks later.

Catherine had survived a week in Scotland before she'd handed in her resignation. She'd had a good job and a nice flat, but she wanted to be somewhere with direct rail access to where her dad now lived and London offered her that. She'd called Jo who had been more than happy to offer her a spare room while she sorted herself out. She'd been a lonely journalist herself once and in fact she was still lonely now and was pleased to have her company.

Nico's first weeks at his new school, had seen a previously quiet child blossom. His ability to swim like a fish had set him apart from his classmates, so instead of what could have been a negative response to a new boy who obviously wasn't English, it had had the opposite effect. At the suggestion of his sports teacher, they had enrolled him in the after school water sports club that went sailing, kayaking and swimming. His adventure trip was booked and paid for, but with it had come the inevitable list, detailing the extras that each child was required to take with them. Hay not surprisingly was a hub for tourists wanting to indulge in outdoor activities, so on the Saturday morning with only one week to go, Harry and Nico had gone shopping and then met up with his friend James and his dad Mike. They had never put any restrictions on Nico as to what he told people, so it was almost inevitable that he had told his friends about their forthcoming wedding.

'I understand congratulations are in order,' Mike said to Harry as they sat eating a sandwich and enjoying a pint of beer whilst Nico and James kicked a football around in the children's play area. 'You and your wife must come and see us when the kids get back,' sealed what for Harry and Ruth was a breakthrough in making their first new friends.

In a break with what Harry considered to be an archaic tradition, he and Ruth had slept together in the non-biblical sense the night before their wedding. He, not surprisingly had woken first and was downstairs making tea, having first checked that the small marquee that had been erected in the garden the previous evening had survived the overnight wind. It was late May and at a time when the temperatures should have warmed up, but you could never be sure these days. Not that they had wanted to wait, they had both dreamed of this day for years and one of their prime concerns was for Nico and the stability that adoption would bring to his new life. All bar Catherine Nico and Wes were staying at a small hotel in Hay, the same five people who had been with them on New Year's Eve in London. June who was there as Malcolm's partner in the sense that they were friends, 'was an absolute must,' when it came to invitations they had decided and she had been the first to accept. Dimitri, Jo and Tariq who had a mountain of time owing to them had finally persuaded a much less fearsome Ros. She had the continuing support of a still grateful Andrew Lawrence and they were the current 'are they aren't they' subject in Section D's long running book.

Alone for what would be the last time until bedtime when they would be husband and wife, Harry and Ruth had done as they had been told and gone for a short walk. At home, the indomitable Catherine with her cohorts Nico, Wes and Dimitri who had made a short visit to give a hand, had set up the tables and chairs and were now waiting for the caterers. It was a beautiful morning in all senses of the word and as they paused at the top of the hill to take a breath before turning back, Harry took the gamble. Ruth was inherently shy and didn't like surprises in fact she hated them which was why he had to tell her now. In all the years that he had known her, even at the endless functions when she had gone with him as his plus one, they had never danced. Tonight they were going to, he was adamant.

'Come on, let's practice now,' he told her pulling her close on the verge at the side of the road. He didn't usually sing, it was Ruth who had the beautiful voice but he made a pretty could job of convincing her. One verse though was all he managed before they were rudely interrupted by Dimitri, who with a big grin on his face and a toot of the horn, drove passed them on his way back to the hotel.

With five minutes to go before their big moment and with Catherine and Nico waiting for them downstairs, Harry knocked on the door of Catherine's bedroom. A tentative Ruth, dressed in what Harry considered to be the most beautiful cream dress that he had ever seen, opened the door. As he struggled to breath, never mind speak, she stepped out onto the landing to join him. They hadn't done formal since the last function that they had attended at a Home Office and as a consequence, Ruth had completely forgotten how Harry dressed in a dark grey suit with a tie chosen by Catherine that matched her dress would affect her. Harry wasn't the only one that wasn't breathing.

In the garden, their other guests and the registrar were waiting. It was traditional for the bride to be late but not the bride and groom. Dimitri was twitching, he was in charge of the music and he had one eye on the door to get the timing right. The registrar who was facing the house had of course already met Harry and Ruth and she had no such concerns. Nodding to the small assembled group of their friends to stand and then to Dimitri, the music started to play. Harry and Ruth, with Catherine and Nico hand in hand behind them, walked the short distance from the house and across the garden between their friends until they were standing in front of the registrar.

'I do solemnly swear,' repeated Harry after the registrar, as he spoke the obligatory lines of the non-religious ceremony, before turning to Ruth with his own prepared vow. 'I love you Ruth and I always will,' he told her, 'it's as simple as that and I know I'm supposed to wait until the end and it's a bit unusual for the bridegroom to suggest it, but I'm going to kiss you.'

To say that it brought the house down was an understatement and as Dimtri and Tariq whistled, the rest of them clapped. As Harry kissed Ruth and Ruth certainly kissed him back even the registrar was laughing, it was certainly one for her memoires.

The now married couple sat at a small table side by side, with their guests on a longer table forming a T. The caterers had done them proud and combined with the wine that was flowing freely and the champagne that was to follow, they had all relaxed. Malcolm had been nominated to say a few words, which considering his reluctance for the limelight he managed admirably well. A now very confident Harry responded by thanking them all but especially Catherine and Nico for helping to make it such a very special day. The meal was now over so as their various guests sorted themselves out with either a coffee or another drink and then went in search of more comfortable garden furniture, Dimitri headed back to his musical duties.

Harry has chosen wisely, it said everything about how he felt about Ruth and to a degree told the story that had got them to this point. It was certainly not lost on Malcolm. 'To make you feel my love' sang Adele, as Harry and Ruth in front of their family and friends danced together for only the second time, this time without interruption. Harry had shed his tie and Ruth's right hand was buried in the hair just above his collar and her left which Harry was holding tight was tucked between them against his chest. Their eyes, had there assembled guests been able to see them left nothing to the imagination, but it was twilight and a once in a lifetime moment and Harry didn't care.


	34. Chapter 34

' _When the rain is blowin' in your face and the whole world is on your case, I could offer you a warm embrace, to_ make _you feel my love_ ' sang Adele.

Choosing this particular song had been an easy decision, it was an open and honest declaration as to how he felt. Dancing with her though, dressed as she was with her glorious blue eyes burning into his was something else entirely and as Adele's voice went up a notch at the start of verse five and Ruth moved even closer, he realised to his horror that he was losing his control.

' _The storms are raging on the rollin sea and on the highways of regret, the winds of change are blowing wild and free, you ain't seen nothing like me yet'_ was just too evocative, not only for Harry but for Ruth as well who since Harry's arousal had felt her own body respond. When the song finally ended and the applause rang out, Harry closed his eyes and desperately tried to picture something more dreadful than their current situation. He couldn't. Saying 'sorry,' didn't help in fact it made things worse, because Ruth took a shuddering breath and whispered, 'don't be.' They were saved by the bell or in this case by the ever vigilant Catherine, who prompted Dimitri to find something all-together more lively for his next rendition.

'Come on everyone, on your feet,' wasn't a suggestion and didn't broker an argument as she dragged Malcolm and June out of their seats to join the already dancing young ones.

The usually reserved Tariq proved to be a very good dancer and a head turner to boot, so much so that nobody noticed the departure of the bride and groom who had manoeuvred themselves away from the marquee and to the edge of the garden.

'In my defence, it's that dress,' he said, 'you're beautiful.' A romantic and playful Harry was as good as it got and in this mood she could forgive him anything. Not that there was anything to forgive. On the opposite side of the hedge there were shouts of 'Tariq Tariq' as he earned himself an encore, so no one was missing them. They were close to the river and the temperature had dropped sufficient for Ruth to shiver. It was the slightest of movements it was nothing really, but it ignited in Harry a long buried memory of a different river in another lifetime, when they had stood as close as they were now. He was galvanised into action by a surge of emotion, the like of which he had never experienced before. He tore off his jacket and wrapped it around Ruth shoulders, taking both her hands in his own. The passion had calmed and had been replaced by an overwhelming feeling of love and the need to protect her and to complete his wedding vows.

'Believe it or not, I was ridiculously nervous earlier, so I want you to hear what I meant to say,' he told her. 'I love you Ruth it's a simple as that, but then you've heard that bit. I promise you with all my heart that for as long as I have left on this earth that this will never change. I want to do what I have so often failed to do in the past which is to keep you safe and above all make you happy.'

Simple it wasn't, he'd said everything that Ruth had ever wanted to hear. In the cocoon that had enveloped them she let go of his hands and wrapped them behind his neck as she stepped closer. 'You're beautiful too.' she whispered before she kissed him.

When they finally wandered back and re-joined the party, nobody seemed to have noticed that they hadn't been there. Malcolm and June who were now in charge of the music were getting along like a house on fire, whilst the rest of them including Wes and Nico who according to Ruth had never danced in his life, was bouncing around with Jo to something that Harry actually recognised. They'd done their dancing for one night, or so Ruth had been led to believe, so when Harry came back with a bottle of wine, they wandered over to join Malcolm and June.

The mini bus to take everyone back to the hotel arrived at eleven and there was no surprise that Catherine went with them.

'Not that you'll need it Dad,' she whispered in his ear, handing him a CD before planting a kiss on his cheek and bidding them goodnight.

Their guests had gone, it was their wedding night and Harry was ready for love. By the time that Ruth came downstairs having tucked Nico in bed and made sure that Wes was alright, Adele was standing by to sing again. With the curtains closed, the doors locked and without an audience this time, Harry pressed play. By the time that _the_ _storms were raging on a rollin' sea_ so was Harry who had made good his promise to make Ruth happy.

* * *

'Scarlet wants to go out,' said a quiet little voice, as Harry opened his eyes the following morning to see Nico standing by their bed. Harry was to put it quite bluntly _stark bollock naked_ and had probably for the first time in his life, slept beyond nine. Ruth was similarly attired and sleeping soundly with her arm slung across his body. Assuming that they were tired or ill even, because let's face it Harry never got up late, Nico asked if he was alright.

'I'm fine son, you go down,' he told him, 'and I'll be there in a couple of minutes.'

The bedroom looked like a battle ground with most of their clothes heaped on a chair although one of them must have attempted to hang up Ruth's dress which was dangling on the back of the door. Dragging himself out of bed, he grabbed a pair of shorts and his shirt from the day before and went in search of Scarlet. The well planned honeymoon and Nico's trip were still two days away but Catherine and Dimitri were due in an hour, so he needed to get a move on. A tired but more than satisfied Ruth had heard him get out of bed, so by the time that he came back in from the garden the kettle was on.

'Thank goodness Catherine isn't here,' he told her, stepping up behind her and putting his arms around her waist, 'I can't get the smile off my face.'

Wes was a typical teenager and it had taken them an age to get him out of bed and to start his packing. When Catherine and Dimitri arrived to drive him back to school he had just finished his breakfast and was upstairs cramming the last of his things into his bag. Unusually for Catherine she was quiet, there were no knowing looks or comments and Ruth suspected she knew why. Harry oblivious to all around him with the exception of his new wife, appeared unconcerned that Mr Levendis had quite probably slept with his daughter, or if he was, he kept quiet. When the time came for Catherine to leave, Ruth was adamant that Harry should walk her to the gate on his own. They had no idea when she would be able to come to visit them again and after what had been an emotional few days, she wanted them to have a father daughter moment.

* * *

Two days later with the Range Rover packed, the first port of call was to the pickup point for Nico's holiday. Two mini buses stood waiting along with half a dozen teachers, ready to transport what appeared to be swarms of excited eight and nine year olds for a week under canvas in the Brecon Beacons. Nico was off like a shot after the briefest of goodbyes as he spotted his friend James.

'Harry, Ruth,' said a voice he recognised, as Mike and his wife Sue appeared from amongst a group of parents. 'Ghastly sight isn't it,' said Mike pointing to the kids, 'those teachers deserve bloody a medal.' Harry couldn't have agreed more but Sue and Ruth were looking at him, so he kept quiet.

Ruth liked Sue instantly and before she knew what she was doing they were chatting about the wedding. It was liberating to be able to talk to someone without having to mind your words and the fact that she and Mike had accepted them without question was a lifesaver. 'Saturday week,' she heard herself saying, 'would be lovely.'

Their conversation was interrupted by the buses moving off. For Ruth and Harry, it was honeymoon time.


	35. Chapter 35

Nothing on earth would have dampened Harry's enthusiasm that morning, even Sue ringing to apologise that in the melee of children and parents that were leaving that they had failed to say goodbye. He was packing the car and besides which she had asked to speak to Ruth.

'God, how wonderfully romantic,' was her response, when Ruth confessed that she had no idea where they were going and that Harry had arranged the honeymoon because he wanted it to be a surprise. 'Mike's a dinosaur compared to your Harry, you're just so lucky,' she enthused, as Ruth hopped from one foot to the other doing a remarkably good impression of Nico. She seemed to recall that someone had called Harry something similar or even worse in the dim and distant past, well not anymore.

'I really must say cheerio,' she finally managed, 'Daisy's here to collect Scarlet and we're just about to leave.' They weren't, but she still had things to do.

The seed for this holiday now honeymoon had been planted in Harry's mind as far back as when the DG had forced him to take an extended break, only to be halted by the roller coaster that followed his accident. Their one and only holiday had changed everything and when Ruth had agreed to marry him, it had set the wheels in motion again and with it his resolve to make it happen.

Having crossed the border they were in the heart of mid Wales, that much Ruth did know. Harry had deliberately turned off the satnav and the signposts meant nothing to her but Ruth didn't like mysteries, they were there to be solved. Harry knew this, it was all part of the game and he could almost hear her mind whirring. Harry scoring ten out of ten for romance was all well and good, but listening to his running commentary that knew this area like the back of his hand because he'd spent weeks here on manoeuvres during his time in the army, was pressing all the wrong buttons. She needed to turn the tables.

A picnic lunch which they had brought with them from home was their first stop, by which stage it was still one nil to Harry. Ruth had used her considerable armoury, but short of throwing herself at him she had tried and so far failed to get him to tell her where they were going. It was at their second and final stop when they pulled in for fuel and to take the opportunity to stretch their legs that Ruth evened the score. With one last throw of the dice she called to him and as her turned to look at her, she unclipped her pony tail and shook her hair loose. He surrendered unreservedly.

'You win we're heading west,' he told her, as her eyes twinkled and a broad smile spread across her face. It was obvious really and had she thought it through, climbing in the Welsh hills with a man who had not so long ago been unable to walk left only one option, they were heading towards the sea.

When the scenery around them became less deserted and remote, it was replaced by fields full of sheep and small farmsteads, until on the brow of what to Ruth had felt like endless hills the Dovey estuary spread out in front of them. The sunlight was bouncing off the water like diamonds and there was row upon row of small boats moored on either side. The hillside above the town had a sprinkling of small cottages that had once been occupied by fishermen and their families who had since moved on or had found an easier way to make a living. It was tourism that now thrived. Although the small seafront that had once harboured their boats had been turned over to small shops, cafes and restaurants, the whole place had retained its inherent charm. Harry knew that Ruth had spent her early childhood holidays on the Cornish coast and had loved it which was why he had chosen to come here, well that and the other surprise that he had tucked up his sleeve.

The Harbour Wall guest house with its vacancies sign hanging by a thread wasn't quite what Ruth had envisaged as the place that they would be spending their honeymoon. However when Harry purposely strode up the path and rang the doorbell, she made an effort and tried to smile. The view from their _back in the seventies_ bedroom was certainly beautiful and Harry seemed so enthusiastic about everything that despite her disappointment, she felt obliged to agree with him. She remembered him telling her that she wouldn't have to dress up - well he'd certainly got that right and where did he propose they eat this evening, surely he wouldn't suggest here in the awful dining room?

As hard as she'd tried to hide it, Harry had seen the look of disappointment on Ruth's face. He knew that he was in for a bollocking in the morning but he was prepared for that, it would be worth it just to see her reaction.

'How about we go for a walk and find somewhere nice to eat this evening,' brought a smile back to Ruth's face and the suggestion by her that she was going to wear her new blue dress, to Harrys. Dinner in fact was destined to be lovely as was the remainder of their evening and by the time they were sitting in the seafood restaurant that Ruth had chosen she would have forgiven him anything. He had told her that she looked beautiful and that he loved her and he had never let go of her hand.

When they left the restaurant to go back to The Harbour Wall the sun was setting, so like the other few couples who were out for the evening Harry suggested that they should walk back along the beach. The tide was well out and the draw to walk as far as the water's edge was irresistible. Ruth had walked ahead of him and when she turned back, splashing her way through the shallows to reach him, he truly believed that his heart would stop beating. She was silhouetted against the darkening sky, beautiful, unaccountably his and more relaxed than he had ever seen her. She had always loved his physique, broad as a rock he was her safe haven. For months now he had battled to be able to walk, so watching a barefooted Harry with his trousers rolled up pacing towards her through the water was almost too much. She ached with her love of him and there was only one way that this was heading, or was there?

If Ruth hadn't seen the funny side of it and been giggling, then Harry would have confessed that they were only staying here one night and that he already knew where they would be sleeping for the remainder of their holiday. Naked as the day they were born they were sitting side by side and draped in a sheet with their trusty friend, a cup of tea. In a bed where the springs threatened to announce every movement it was a cuddle or nothing and that's how they fell asleep. Despite Ruth's concerns about the dining room, their breakfast was actually very good and their hostess charming. There was one other couple staying who apparently visited every year she told them and were always late risers. Harry had several responses on the tip if his tongue, none of which indicated that she would be seeing them again any time soon, but Ruth was shaking her head at him so he refrained from commenting.

Leaving the town behind them, Harry chose the road that took them inland and away from the mouth of the estuary. He knew exactly where he was going and within half a mile he had pulled into the side of the road and turned off the engine. Saying nothing, he just held out his hand and nodded to Ruth to follow him. Moored along the small Marina wall there was a row of boats in every shape and form, some of which were in poor repair and others less so. Walking towards them was Malcolm who far from moving to Scotland, had on Harry's behalf been making trips to the Welsh coast for months. For Harry it was the moment of truth and the realisation of a long held dream, for Ruth it was mouth dropping.

'Harry, Ruth, it's good to see you again,' was met by a look of total disbelief from Ruth and a broad smile from Harry. Had she not been totally stunned, it was quite likely that Harry would have got the bollocking he was expecting after subjecting her to a night at The Harbour Wall, but as it was, by the time they stopped at mooring seven she was way beyond speaking. Over the past few months they had discussed the fact that the boat that had come with their new house was beyond repair and how disappointed Nico had been, but never in her wildest dreams had she expect them to be able to replace it. Not only that, the one that Harry was now pointing to appeared to be new and designed for the sea.

Over dinner that evening with Malcolm and June in the dining area of their new boat, Harry started at the beginning and confessed all.

'It was like running an op,' Malcolm joked, 'but for a change, I got to be a real spy.'

Ruth who had long since recovered her voice was enthralled and Harry was only part way through the story.


	36. Chapter 36

They'd had an extraordinary day, more so for Ruth who had been picturing a nice hotel or maybe a cottage overlooking the sea, but a boat and one that was theirs, never in a million years would she have guessed. It was designed for a family with two double berths and a single for occasional use. The galley was compact and designed to be functional, whereas the living area was spacious and comfortable with masses of cupboard and drawer space and every conceivable gadget. More importantly and one of the reasons that Harry had chosen it, was that it was designed to go into coastal waters which would enable them to have family holidays and weekends, exploring and mooring in the dozens of small coves and harbours such as the one they were in now.

Malcolm had pointed them in the direction of the Harbourmaster and with a cheery wave had promised to see them later. To Ruth it felt totally surreal and as though she'd stepped into an alternative universe and to Harry as long as Ruth was happy, then so was he. The paperwork now completed and signed and a year's mooring paid for, the rest of the day was their own.

'Shopping,' he said, squeezing her hand and grinning at her in an effort to get her attention. 'Malcolm and June, I think they'll be expecting us to feed them this evening.' She'd been pretty much in a daze since they'd arrived not surprisingly so and Harry understood that, but it wasn't far off lunchtime and he was starting to get hungry again and they needed to stock up on food for at least a week. 'How about we go back to the boat and make love,' finally got a reaction and Ruth back from her dream state, as she looked at him with a smile that said I really want to, but hadn't we better go and do that shopping?

Back in the here and now, they unloaded the car and whilst Ruth unpacked and stowed the shopping and prepared their lunch, Harry laid the table. It was a beautiful sunny day and plenty warm enough to eat on deck.

'Forgiven?' he asked, pouring the last of the wine into her glass, in a voice that implied so much more.

'Maybe,' she answered with the same twinkle in her eyes and a voice that matched his suggestion.

The air such as there was, was crackling, so Harry saying that they should go to bed because they'd had very little sleep the previous night, had Ruth finishing the washing up at breakneck speed and following him. Unfortunately for Ruth, by the time she got there he was breathing steadily and appeared to be asleep. He certainly wasn't asleep, but he was genuinely tired and had been struggling to stay awake during lunch. When Ruth spooned herself in behind him and ran her fingers the length of his thigh, it took all of his resolve not to turn over and ruin the last of his plans that was for bedtime that night. He could have sworn that the last thing he heard before he gave in to sleep, was a small voice saying 'bugger.'

* * *

They had no idea as to the nature of the relationship that had developed between Malcolm and June and they certainly weren't going to pry, but Harry insisted that they should spend their first evening with them, if for no other reason than he wanted to say thank you. It wasn't only Ruth who was hanging on to his every word, so was June. She had known from the first day that she had been employed to look after him that all had not been as it seemed but had kept her counsel, done her job and by the end of the five months had become very fond of him. Ruth too had shown immense courage through what she had come to learn had been extraordinary circumstances that had resulted in the four of them sitting where they were that evening. What she didn't know until Harry started speaking, was that Malcolm had been the catalyst, _gentle and unassuming but immensely determined_ were the words that Harry used had when he thanked him and outlined the number of times that he had stepped in to help them.

'When Ruth had been away, it was Malcolm that had held him together, never letting him give up hope that she would return. Who was the first person that Ruth contacted on her return and who was it that had ensured that Nico had been spared to be part of lives? It was Malcolm again. He was a true friend and they would forever be in his debt,' ended what Harry had wanted to say for a long time, after which they settled down to their meal and the start of an enjoyable evening.

'Well we'd better leave you two lovebirds to it,' Malcolm said, looking at his watch and seeing it was close to ten. 'I'm sorry about last night's accommodation,' he told Ruth for a second time, 'but I'm sure you'll find it a lot better tonight.'

'Love birds,' she whispered in his ear as she gave him a huge cuddle.

'Of course you are,' he whispered back.

'Promise me you'll come and stay with us, Nico would love to see you again, you know that.'

'Then I'd better make sure that I do,' was said quietly, but with such sincerity that Ruth was sure that he would.

'Alone at last,' breathed Harry against Ruth's neck as they stood on the deck and watched Malcolm's car disappear into the distance. It was a carbon copy of the previous night with the sky teeming with stars and the moonlight dancing on the water, but this time apart from the water lapping against the side of the boat there wasn't a single sound, bar their breathing.

Have you any idea how much I love you said the voice his head, as Ruth turned round to face him and smiled. Once he kissed her he knew he would be lost and there was something exquisitely beautiful about standing there and drowning in her eyes. Ruth had been drowning for hours, gazing at him at dinner and just listening to his voice had been enough to make her want to drag him away from the table and onto their bed, and now she was close to begging point. Still Harry waited, his body reacting as it had been throughout the evening to the closeness of her, the smell of her and every inch of her body that was waiting to be explored. In what was the last of his plans, they had never been destined to make it to their bedroom. Slowly, almost without Ruth realising it, he had manoeuvred them to the prow of the boat and down onto the mattress and the rugs that were designed for sunbathing. Cunning and pre-planned it may have been, but this was their real wedding night and Harry had been determined that was going to be memorable. Ruth was way past analysing, her body was on fire and the moment that he touched her it blew her mind. There were no nosey neighbours, there was no Nico to walk in and interrupt them they could take as long as they liked. As Ruth surrendered beside him, that was exactly what Harry did.

Some hours later when the earth had stopped moving and they lay curled together in each other's arms, Harry had opened his eyes. Sweet beautiful Ruth, his wife, still something that he needed to pinch himself to believe, was sleeping peacefully beside him. The sky was still carpeted with stars, he had truly died and gone to heaven. Pulling the blankets more tightly around them so that Ruth wasn't cold, he buried his face in her hair and disappeared back into sleep, his mind free of plans for the first time in weeks, it was up to Mike and Sue now.


	37. Chapter 37

Harry's childhood holidays had been spent with his younger brother Ben and their grandfather on his boat off the Yorkshire Coast, so there was very little that Harry didn't know about the whys and wherefores when it came to life on the water. Having expertly steered them away from their mooring, he steered them into a small bay just south of the estuary and while Ruth prepared their lunch and plied him with cups of coffee, the man in question ploughed his way through the handbook that told him how to set up the gadgetry. At work he'd always claimed to know nothing when it came to mechanics and yet here he was talking about pumps and the ship to shore radio as though it was second nature. Ruth was seriously impressed.

She wasn't alone in that and Harry had lost his place in the handbook several times. There was a first time for everything and gazing at Ruth who was lying on a sunbed in a pale blue bikini gave him a lot to admire, and he was doing plenty of that. He made a mental note to add sunbeds to the list of things that they needed at home, and promptly lost his place again. A swim after lunch despite the fact that the water was cold did nothing to reduce his rising intent as with each wave that buffeted them, Ruth was thrown against him. A soaking wet Ruth who was smiling at him with such joy on her face was heartrendingly beautiful, and not only that was playing havoc in his trunks. It was only the second time that they had showered together, the first had been on their holiday with Nico and had been filled with hesitancy and in Ruth's case some nervousness, but not so this time. Lovebirds Malcolm had called them but they were so much more than that. Hot cascading water combined with shower gel and a still ardent Harry, made for a climactic afternoon and the need to lie down. Their dinner which they cooked together was a much simpler and drink free event after the excess of the previous evening, after which Ruth washed up and considered whether or not she had overtopped her tan, whilst Harry was back in his organising mode and had found himself a pad and a pen.

Days turned into nights and nights to days and before they knew it, it was Friday. They were back at the estuary with the prospect of driving home the following morning and collecting Nico at the end of his trip. It was his ninth birthday on Sunday, hence the list and the calls that Harry had made, he'd been very busy. They wanted to make the most of their last day, so straight after breakfast having made a flask of coffee they set off for a walk up onto the headland. It was a warm and sunny morning and the view from the top was spectacular, you could see Ireland on a clear day Harry told her as she leant back against him and they watched the dozens of seabirds that were bobbing on the bay.

'Time to head back and pack I guess,' he said regretfully, but not before he kissed her.

Walking back down again was more of a struggle especially for Harry, but he kept it to himself. There was a note pinned to their door. 'Parcel to be signed for,' it said, 'will deliver tomorrow at eleven.'

'No idea.' Harry lied.

Like every last day of a holiday there was an element of regret that it was coming to an end, but Ruth was also looking forward to seeing Nico again and getting back to the normality of their lives. If they had to wait until eleven then there was every chance that they'd be late.

'He'll be fine and Mike and Sue will pick him up, I'll ring them later if you're worried,' Harry told a now fretting Ruth.

Nico was more than fine he was having a wonderful time. It was the last day before they were going home and it was well after nine. The camp fire was still blazing and they were playing charades and eating the last of the burnt sausages that his 'patrol' who had been on cooking duty that day had cooked. He'd got badges for all sorts of achievements as had they all and he'd got more friends than he'd ever had in his life. Mr Willis who had been one of the people that Harry had called, had told everyone that it was his birthday at the weekend and they'd sung happy birthday to him even though it was early. He was one happy little boy.

His soon to be parents had long finished their dinner and were already in bed, Ruth because she'd worked herself up to a state of nervous exhaustion and Harry because he knew the cure. A gentle but insistent Harry telling her to lie back and enjoy it when his hands were working their way up her inner thighs had finally taken her mind off Nico and back to the fact that they were on their honeymoon. Unfortunately for Harry who was at the point of no return in terms of where his hands had reached, his phone rang.

'That was Mike,' he said, stating the obvious to a now frustrated Ruth who had been listening to the one-sided conversation, gone off the boil and in the time honoured way was putting the kettle on.

By five to eleven the next morning they had stowed the things that they intended leaving behind, cleaned throughout and were ready to leave. Ruth was itching to go but Harry had no intension of going anywhere, this was his final gift at the end of what had been a wonderful honeymoon. The parcel that was being delivered was doing as he was told as was his friend James.

'Don't run,' Mike had told them as he watched Nico and his son walk steadily towards Harry and Ruth.

Harry held his breath and Ruth rubbed her eyes totally overwhelmed by what she was seeing. Harry and Mike had orchestrated it down to the last detail including telling the boys that a marina was a dangerous place and that they shouldn't run. They got within a few metres before Nico's resolve ran out and he barrelled himself into Ruth while Harry talked to James.

Harry who had left the boys with Ruth, had passed Sue who was heading in the opposite direction and arrived to help Mike who was unloading the car.

'Good Honeymoon?' from Mike elicited a broad smile from Harry but nothing more, not that he'd been expecting one. They had only known Harry and Ruth for a few weeks and yet here they were, having been invited to spend the weekend on what looked to be a very expensive boat. He knew nothing about them and maybe he never would but despite the obvious funds that they had compared to their own, there was absolutely no pretention. Harry appeared to be just an ordinary guy and the fact that Sue had taken to Ruth when she had struggled to find a friend amongst the other mothers at the school, meant everything.

'By the way, we still intending feeding you tonight,' echoed Mike, when Harry queried the large cool box that he had just lifted out of the boot.

Back on board, Ruth was attempting to give Sue a quiet private tour which included what would be their bedroom, but with Nico and James who had found their voices again and were exploring at breakneck speed it was virtually impossible.

'Stop,' shouted an exasperated Ruth, which resulted in Nico and James stopping dead in their tracks and an amused and awestruck Sue to smile. 'Go and help Harry and Mike with the bags and Sue and I will make us some drinks.'

'Wow,' said Sue, marvelling how someone so small and usually quiet had regained order.

'I was a prefect at school, you never lose your touch,' Ruth told her by way of explanation and left it at that.

By the time they'd finished lunch, the boys had marginally calmed down and had begun telling the assembled adults who were trying not to laugh, about their exploits of the past few days. As far as the food was concerned, Sausages and beans had been the highlight of the week which was why they had been voted the best patrol when it came to cooking. Harry enjoyed a fry up as did most people, but preferably one that had been cooked by someone who had washed their hands and where the sausages hadn't been burnt. It was the start of a fun weekend.


	38. Chapter 38

_(In the current climate especially here in Britain, which sees the emergency services stretched to the limit and the security services criticised at every turn, this story which after this chapter will be concluded with an epilogue, has been my attempt to cheer myself up and put Harry and Ruth into that happy place, that sadly never happened.) Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed it._

When you're a nine year old boy and it's your birthday, the general rule is that you get to choose how you spend it. There had been the usual opening of presents after breakfast and a swim during the afternoon, but the evening was to eclipse anything that Ruth had ever seen and was to end on a moment that she would never forget. Having a birthday party on the boat, was in this instance considered to be boring, so with no idea as to the embarrassment that was to follow, Harry and Mike had dutifully done what Nico and his co - conspirator James had asked of them and had built a BBQ on the beach.

'Save me now,' he whispered to Ruth, as the sun went down and Nico announced that they had to join in with the songs that they had been singing round the camp fire the previous evening. It got worse when he and James, with what Ruth explained to Harry were supposed to be moves, broke into an out of tune rendition of 'She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes.'

He'd already endured the inevitable sausage with his steak, although Mike had made a good job of ensuring that they hadn't been burnt. He'd avoided the beans and had opted for the salad which for the first time in his life he was enjoying and was being sustained by the copious bottles of beer that Mike was producing from the cool box.

'Don't you bloody dare,' he told a now laughing Ruth who was attempting to take his photo on her phone, only to be interrupted when James and Nico went into another huddle and came out again, to announce that they had to get into teams and were going to play charades.

'Christ all bloody mighty,' was muttered for Ruth's ears only, although in truth with the help of the beers he was starting to enjoy himself. This new found happiness was unfortunately short lived, when some late night revellers and a couple of families who had heard the singing of Happy Birthday to You, decided to join the party and set themselves up as an audience. With the next announcement that this was going to be Pearce against Robinson, Harry regained his competitive streak and what was left of his dignity and gathered his loved ones around him.

Harry pretending to be a wardrobe as in the lion, the witch and the aforementioned item of furniture was so far removed from his previous life as to be absurd, as was Mike's attempt to look like Dopey from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. To the sound of what could only be described as a mixed reception, Harry and Mike went in search of some spades with which to bury themselves and to drink some more beers.

'When it comes to James's birthday, I hope you'll understand if I don't make it,' he told Mike, to which Mike's response was to say, 'he'd be lucky if he got one.'

What for Nico had been the perfect birthday ended with the inevitable paddle, a water fight and then a very slow walk home.

'Thank you for everything,' Ruth whispered, when they were finally in bed and Harry was at peace once more.

'Everything,' said a honeyed voice, that suggested that he thought that his evening was about to take a turn for the better.

'Yes, that as well, but I'm being serious Harry, so please listen to me. I'm not talking about us Harry, I'm talking about Nico. When I came back from, well just let's say when I came back, it was as a package and I know how difficult it must have been for you to take on a child. We've always loved each other you and I, so that was the easy part, but today wouldn't have happened without you and I saw the way you looked at him this morning when he was walking towards us, you were just as pleased to see him as I was. So no more pretending to be Mr Grumpy because it's a façade Harry, you love him just as much as I do.'

'Oh and by the way,' she added after a pause and handed him the letter.

It could have waited until they got home but she was desperate to see it in writing, so she'd asked Malcolm do them one last favour. The embassy had called her to say that the panel's decision had been made and that their letter of confirmation and the form for them to sign was on its way. Malcolm had called in at the house and had forwarded it to the harbour master and it was this that Harry reading. Ruth more than anyone on earth could read Harry's emotions and for anyone other than her to have expected him to cry, would have seemed so out of character as to have appeared laughable. She knew differently, this was her Harry and his reaction was the one that she had been expecting which was why she had waited until now.

'Come on, let's lie down,' she encouraged him as she snuggled beneath the duvet. He was there in a second, his head on Ruth's shoulder and cradled in her arms, safe, loved and very soon asleep. She lay there, running her fingers through what was left of the curls in his hair, savouring the moment, the intimacy that they shared and the knowledge that by the middle of the following week, they would become a family.

The time that it took them to drive home was considerably less than the time it had taken them to get there when Harry had taken the scenic route. With a promise to catch up with Mike and Sue before too long and maybe for the six of them to spend a week on the boat during the next school holidays, they had said their goodbyes. Scarlet was ecstatic when Harry and Nico called at Daisy's to collect her, although she seemed woefully short of comprehension when Nico told her he'd had a birthday and was nine. Unpacking was a fairly simple affair, they'd left a lot of their things on the boat and as Daisy had made them one of her homemade pies for their dinner, it was a reasonably quiet reintroduction to home.

The documents that they needed to sign had to be witnessed by a solicitor, at which point Nico was also required to be present. Before that though was one of those now or never moments, where there was never any doubt as to the outcome other than to Ruth who felt as though her whole life was hanging by a thread. They'd had their meal and were sitting in the garden, it felt less claustrophobic than being indoors and Harry was trying to avoid looking at Ruth's nervous hands.

'Nico, there's something that we want to tell to you,' he said taking the bull by the horns and speaking in as gentle a voice as he could muster. He made it simple, avoiding the legalities that would have been explained to an older child but giving Nico time to absorb what he was saying and to ask them questions if he wanted to. 'We both love you Nico and it's what we want to happen,' he concluded, 'but we need to know if you're happy about what I've just told you, or if you have any questions?'

'Can I tell James?' wasn't quite the response that they had been expecting, but it was obviously all they were getting and more than sufficient to make them smile.

* * *

It was the middle of July and the start of the summer holidays. James and Nico, now officially their son, were still the terrible twosome as Harry and Mike had christened them, but had gained two other friends. In order to retain his and Ruth's sanity and the once peaceful garden at Riverside, Harry had designed a designated play area that was well away from the house. It was a children's paradise, he'd even commissioned someone to build a tree house which would guarantee that four small boys armed with sufficient food and drink to sustain them, would be missing for hours.

'I've still got a trick or two up my sleeve when it comes to organising,' he told Mike and Sue one evening, after the Nico and James had disappeared with a football and they were sitting on the patio and sharing a bottle of wine. 'Now we need to think about that holiday.'


	39. Chapter 39

December – a week before the school broke up for the Christmas holidays.

Their lives had taken on a flexibility that was so far removed from the relentlessness that had been work, as to seem impossible. When Ruth was tired or was otherwise busy as was the case today, then Harry did the school run which was why he was currently driving in to Hay. Besides which, since the earlier than usual snowfall during the previous week, he was concerned about Ruth driving on the potentially icy roads. She was more than happy with the arrangement, Harry was far more confident than she was on snow covered roads and it gave her an hour or so of quiet whilst she tidied up at the end of the day and prepared their evening meal.

They'd settled well into their new and very different way of life, shopping took a morning, it wasn't the short dash to the shops as it had been when they had lived in London. Now that they were growing their own vegetables and had acquired some hens, again one of Harry's ideas which had come with the proviso from Ruth that he and Nico had to look after them, there was always something that needed to be done. They had never been as happy, fit and healthy as they were now and they were all reaping the benefits, especially Harry.

* * *

For parents of pupils who were in their last year before they moved up to the senior school, the annual parent teachers evening loomed large, none more so than for Ruth and Harry who had no idea how well or possibly not that Nico was progressing. He seemed happy enough, never complaining about his homework and if he was struggling with anything then it was because he was still learning English. This particular year and because of the recent bad weather, the evening in question was to be concluded with the end of term school party to which parents were invited. For Harry, already the father of two before Nico had come into his life, it felt like another sharp reminder of what he perceived to be his failings as a father. He had never once been to a parent teacher's meeting, never mind to one of Catherine or Graham's school parties.

'You must remember some of the school parties when you were Nico's age,' Ruth suggested in an effort to cheer him up, once Nico had gone to bed and Harry had gone into one of his reflective moods for the second evening in a row. The only school party that Harry could recall, had involved a trip outside to the bicycle shed for a kiss with a particularly lovely brunette named Valerie, someone who a twelve year old Harry had been in love with.

Ruth on the other hand had always hated the parties having being stuffed into some god awful dress that her mother had decided was lovely. She had spent the evenings hiding in a corner convinced that if someone did ask her to dance, then it would be Richard something or other the ugliest boy in her class, so unlike Harry, it was something that she'd tried to forget. Anyway, she'd spoken to Sue and it was smart casual and she could cope with that and besides which, Valerie something was long gone and she was the one that Harry was taking her to this particular party.

'Harry, Ruth,' said Mr Willis, smiling at them and indicating that they should take a seat, when they eventually reached the front of the queue and entered his office.

'That's down to his mother,' said Harry without hesitation, when they were told how well Nico had progressed with his reading.

'Aside from his school work,' Mr Willis concluded, 'Nico has settled in well and has been a huge asset to the class. James who I understand is Nico's best friend really struggled to fit in, but since Nico arrived he has started to mix and it's made a huge difference to his confidence. Children are only small adults trying to find their place in the world and rather than shy away from being different, Nico has embraced it, you should both be very proud of him.'

'How did it go?' asked Mike, when Harry and Ruth had finally got over the shock and had dragged themselves into the school hall. He'd already kissed her and told a hesitant Ruth that she looked beautiful which of course she did and had promised to take her out to the bicycle sheds if she behaved herself.

'Better than we expected,' shouted Harry above the din, as he scanned the room in search of somewhere to escape to or for something to drink.

Way beyond better than expected was Ruth's assessment of the evening which she was surviving surprisingly well. A particularly attentive and loving Harry was staying close, never more than a few feet away and was fielding all the questions. Their legend should they ever need one was well prepared, but tonight was the first time that it was to be tested. Mike and Sue had never asked, but eventually it was going to happen.

'So how did you two meet?' Asked Sue, having downed maybe one too many glasses of wine.

Ruth froze, panic engulfing her but true to form, Harry stepped in.

'I'll tell them shall I ?' He offered with consummate ease and a beaming smile.

'We met each other at work and we've been together for years, but it was only when Nico's father who was a close friend of Ruth's died and Nico was left without parents, that I popped the question. I'm an idiot and I'll always regret that I never asked her years ago, but once we decided that we wanted to adopt Nico, it gave me the nudge that I'd needed.'

Part fact and part fiction it mattered not, because it was said with such conviction and with the clearest of messages, not only to Mike and Sue but to Ruth. It was a first and the only time that Harry had spoken about them to anyone other than their colleagues, they had finally crossed that line.

The taxi to take them back to Riverside arrived soon after nine and with a cheery goodbye to their friends and the confirmation that they were looking forward to seeing them at mid-day on the 31st, they were finally on their way home.

* * *

They hadn't seen Catherine since their wedding in June and it had been a year since they had all spent their first Christmas together when Harry had still been unable to walk.

'See you in a couple of hours,' he said, kissing Ruth as he always did before he went out. With Nico strapped firmly in the back of the Range Rover, they were heading across a snow covered landscape towards Hereford, to do some sneaky Christmas shopping and to pick up a Christmas tree before collecting his daughter from the station. Harry was planning again. Predictably the train was late, something to do with ice on the tracks said a muffled voice over the intercom, so they popped into the café for a drink and in an effort to keep warm. Finally after half an hour, by which time Harry was beginning to worry, Catherine's train arrived.

'Goodness me, look how tall you are,' said Catherine embracing an excited Nico before turning to her Dad.

'I've missed you all so much,' she confessed, giving him a huge hug before following them back to the car.

She wasn't her cheeky and bubbly self, Harry could see that, so when they stopped outside town and while Nico was working his way amongst the Christmas trees, Harry asked the question.

'I've broken up with Dimitri, it was never going to work Dad. It's not that I don't fancy him because I do, but what he does, the hours he keeps, the uncertainty as to whether he's going to come home in one piece, I just can't do it anymore. I saw what it did to you and Mum and I can't put myself through that.' She'd also had a right royal run in with her mother when she'd told her that she was going to her dads for Christmas for the second year in a row, but he didn't need to know that.

Harry was staggered to the point of being lost for words and probably wisely so. It was the first time in her life that Catherine had confided in him, let alone been rational about one of her decisions.

'Anyway, apart from that works going well and Jo and I are still holed up in her flat together, we live our separate lives and it suits us both to live in a man free zone for a while.'

'This one Dad,' said Nico, breaking the moment and causing Catherine to smile. They'd told her about the adoption but to hear him say Dad as though it was the most natural thing in the world was lovely and it felt as though someone had put the final piece in a jigsaw. She would always be her dads little girl and nothing would ever change that and if Nico had been a girl rather than a boy then she maybe she might have felt differently, but this was Christmas, she'd said her piece and it was time to start enjoying herself.

'Right little brother,' she said going to help Nico, 'let's see what you've chosen.'

* * *

When they woke up on morning of the 31st, there had been yet another layer of overnight snow and it was whiteout as far as the eye could see. Mike had rung to say that rather than disappoint the boys that they were going to attempt to get through. Nico might have grown, but with at least a 30cms of snow it was nearly at the top of his wellingtons. The ever inventive Ruth had put plastic carrier bags over his socks as she and Catherine stood by the kitchen window and watched as he and Harry ploughed their way up the drive.

When their guests finally arrived it was minus Sue who had one of her migraines. It had the effect of balancing the books and made Catherine feel more comfortable and less of the odd one out. With half an hour to go until midnight, Harry and Mike were out in the garden and double checking the fireworks, almost a carbon copy of exactly the same night one year ago when Harry had been housebound. The boys were still going strong, heaven knows how having spent the best part of the afternoon building a snowman and helping to build the bonfire. Ruth and Catherine ready to go out and join the fray, were back in their favourite place sitting together in the kitchen window and watching them.

'I told Dad something the other day that wasn't strictly true,' Catherine announced out of the blue, causing Ruth to wonder what was coming. 'I told him that I had finished with Dimitri because I didn't want us to end up like him and Mum. Mum's a nightmare, she always has been and what I really wanted to tell him, was that I now realise that they would never have made it, they were totally unsuited and it wouldn't have made a difference whatever line of work my Dad had been in. I see how he is with you, he's a completely different man and he's a totally different Dad, if that makes sense.'

'Please tell him Catherine,' Ruth told her, knowing that this would come as a revelation and mean so much to Harry, only to be interrupted by the bonfire being lit which was their cue to go out into the garden.

'Ten, nine eight,' yelled Nico and James as Catherine discreetly marshalled them away from Harry and Ruth and towards Mike who was attending to the fire.

It was the coldest of nights and neither of them could feel their feet, but it mattered not one jot. Everything that had gone before had been put to bed and with Catherine's words still ringing in her ears, Ruth had never felt warmer. Harry didn't care anymore that someone might be watching them and as Nico's voice reached one, he kissed his wife.


End file.
